April.18.2007 2:31am/December.24.2011
Trisha Barrek Hopkins
Everynight
Everyday
I miss your gorgeous sight
When before I go to bed
I lean down and begin to pray
I'll remember the last thing you said
"My love I will be back soon someday"
That is then I fell to my knees and began to cry
I pray to God everynight
My love comes back wishing he finds
His way back to my heart
Asking God our love that we have let it be
God every moment my heart pleads
Don't let my love,My hearo from me part
Let our souls for each other continue to bleed
For our love has been strong since the start
I miss my love so much
I want to feel on my face
His gentle touch
When he kisses me
He does it so
With love and at a slow romantic pace
It sets my worries free
While your always my sweet
Let God protect you with the angels above
While I sit here and wait for your warm body heat
Tonight when I enter the world of dreams
I will go to our favorite spot to meet
To look into your eyes and to feel your arms
Around me it feels real
You say "Next to me will always be your seat"
And then tell me
"I am always in your heart"
No matter the distence no matter how far
Please believe me please stay strong
Keep in your heart and wishing on that star
Together forever and always
And back agian we belong
And soon my soul I will be back to stay
It won't be long
So please believe in what I say
You're my love, my hero
The one I will love forever
My hate for you will always be at zero
We will always be together
I will take care of you
As you will take care of me
And our love will always remain true
We will never let each other free
Because you are my love and you are my hero
Copyright
I want to drown myself in coffee.. I want to melt into every part of you.
beauty lies within the eyes, so what you expell is what you put out, & in turn recieve..
& in those times you bleed, & feel ugly, know it's all a part of being set free.
crippled, I stand.
shaking, my hand.
waving, goodbye... I let out a sigh.
why bother to ask? alone at last.. comfort in this clasp..
the suffocation of myself.
breathe, be, clear my eyes with water, in attempt to better see.
I can't bare anymore to feel the black shroud of this clouded memory..
my heart cries out for clarity..
envisioning the future, I climb..
but we all tend to fall a little short in the grasp of time..
how I wish to call you darling.. & stroke your hair..
caressing the sides of your face, & playing with the jewelry in your ears..
i'm sorry I couldn't of done better.. for my family has the tendency to fight & fetter..
another sunny day, wasted away.. I kind of wish I could lie down in my grave, & rest eternally..
maybe so many of us are unhappy because we never stop searching, we never let our heart or mind get a rest..
we always push ourselves further, & wonder why it seems like a test..
why haven't my eyes bled out yet...? why am I still here..?
this fear is parasitic.. consuming your insides.. till it's all that's left there...
if I were to die, i'd hate to know he got the satisfaction of my silence...
the suffering I endured, creating massive hurricanes of inner violence..
i'll try now, to bring up a well of pity... just for you.. maybe i'll even throw in a penny, or dime..
but not a quarter, cause you were never worth my time.....
if you continue.... I hope you fall on your face someday, & land on my grave...
when you do, i'll be sure to pull you straight through, down under, to burn in hells fire..
this is one of my many darkest desires..
sad but true, shame on you... all has come unglued..
i'm swimming through this ocean, tide pulling me over & under, just to try & make it back, without blunder..
I'd rather dig a thousand pins into my skin, or burn a billion holes onto my back, then hurt you unintentionally..
can't you see, I'd much rather strike myself...
I don't want anyone to be an object of my pain..
so please refrain from stepping any further..
you don't know what goes on in my brain...
these chemicals are mine to control.
so stand back while I get a-hold..
ashes to ashes... everything collapses.. piece by piece, coming apart.
nothing ever felt right, from the very fucking start..
sometimes I cannot convey the thoughts in which my mind is stirring up,
or the feelings that cause my heart to silently bleed..
if only I had those wings, I would of flown away long ago..
& saved you from the inevitable hurt..
not being here.
sometimes I wonder if that's the only real dream in which i've truly conceived through out this life time..
nothing special, but it sure seems realistic..
she screamed at me, "it's all just a fantasy!" .. inside I went ballistic..
twisting & turning, face to the floor, squirming..
staring down at the shriveled remains of sanity...
your eyes expell such melancholy.. do you see the same in me..?
am I just a tree for you to chop down..?
to carve your name in..?
to climb..? to rest up against..?
no longer will I walk along such a thin frail line..
no longer will I stand out of the shadows to be seen...
for these shadows are all that will vaguely cover me..
offering faint protection..
sometimes you can't avoid the rejections, the experiences, or the lessons..
when you drink that water, check the bottom to make sure it's clean..
though it may appear transparent & clear..
you could end up swallowing a ton of nails...
choking on how much you've failed..
shame on me, too.
After the thunder
Comes the rain
After a blow
Comes the pain
After it’s done
Comes the shame
You shouldn’t have done it
Brother Cain
Did you not know
That death is hungry
Did you not know
It always needs
Did you not know
It’s never full
Didn’t you know
It eats him who feeds
Cursed are you
For killing your brother
Start life anew
Far from another
Marked is your forehead
So you’ll never forget
Death feeds on you yet
Why does the sky cry
When I’m crying
Why does the wind howl
As I’m dying
Why do the animals whimper
As I bleed
Why is it so cold
When death feeds?
Tear it up
Bleed it out
Just a scream
Just a shout
When the Blood falls
Because of the Cause
I will pause
No Gauze,
I will open it with my Claws
Breathe Blood when it's in your skin.
Breathe Blood when it's out of it.
Breathe Blood when it's innocent.
No longer in your skin.
A razor will bring it out of it.
Yes, a lovely, gorgeous, delectable razor will do it all.
I know it may be wrong.
But the feeling is just so strong.
And it doesn't take too long.
I'll cut deep,
And I'll cut a stream.
To Bleed is to go deep.
I've fallen to the floor,
There is blood galore.
I'm bleeding and drowning
I'm drowning and counting
How many seconds I have until I'm dead.
And drowning in what's left.
Breathe Blood when your inhaling it
Breathe Blood when it's in your head
Breathe Blood when it's in your lungs.
Breathe Blood Until you're done.
Give me my orders
I do as you wish
Tell me what to do
I am your bitch
Treat me like shit
Please slap me again
God and everyone knows
That I love to sin
Whip me harder
It’s what I deserve
It’s what you wanted
And it’s you I serve
Please hurt me
I love to bleed
I want it too much
It’s now become a need
Punish me master
Please make me cry
Deep down inside
I just want to die
Torment me please
Isn’t it easy to see
That I love it
Now give it to me
~Chrystal
Written on
October 5, 2005