rot

Gutter rat By jfarrell

Gutter rat

By jfarrell

 

Born in the gutter,

Drunk, violent parents,

On a council estate,

Stealing next door’s electricity…

How far from the sewers do you expect me to rise?

 

I dragged myself from the excrement,

Covered in bruises,

Both outside and in;

Took that ‘greasy pole’ in both hands

And pulled myself up.

 

After a very thorough scrubbing up and hot wash,

I got myself through college,

Into a career;

Even to the dizzying heights of

‘Acting-Deputy-Officer-in-Charge’.

 

However hard you scrub, however hot the wash,

The stench of the gutter, the sewers,

Stays with you.

Everyone can smell the waste

The rot.

 

And what lives in the rot

Has been eating away at me,

My whole life.

Rat. Rodent. Vermin.

I have always been a gutter rat.

A parasite.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

wonder if i can upgrade and become a stainless steel rat - always loved harry harrison

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I Die - February 15, 2012

I'm drowning in this ocean of pain,

And burning in this acid rain.

I'm falling through memories;

Slowly killing me, is this disease.

 

Every night I try to change,

What thoughts run through my head.

But I cannot help,

To what events this may have lead.

 

It kills me every time,

I have to say goodbye,

To the times with no pain;

No suffering in vain.

 

I die from bleeding inside,

The blood pours on the floor.

I die from fatal suicide,

I couldn't take it anymore.

 

I took a kitchen knife,

Or a razor and a lighter.

I ended my life;

I was never any fighter.

 

I've given up on life,

I've given up on me.

I've given up on everything;

Said it cannot be.

 

I've ended my being,

All so you could be free.

I want you to see,

As I end all of me.

 

Now that I'm no more,

My corpse lies on the floor.

Now that I never speak again,

Will you have the strength I never gained?

 

My end, though,

Was a group contribution.

It was thanks to me, and to them,

That led to my execution.

 

Our hearts, our love, it never bends,

But this is how my story ends.

I understand if you cried,

If you hurt when I died.

 

But listen to me now,

You still have time,

Before the pain overcomes

Your whole being, like mine.

 

Run away from it all,

Run away from your past.

I may be dead,

But you will still last.

 

Everything will be all right,

I promise you that, dear.

I'll be in your heart every night;

My spirit will lay near.

 

For the rest of your life,

For the rest of forever,

I can't ever let you forget,

When we were together.

 

Every once in a while,

Will you think of me?

The memories will last,

They will always be.

 

It was not at all your fault,

That I don't live anymore.

I was my own and others;

You I'll always adore.

 

Many years will have passed,

And I will be forgot.

You'll live a better life,

Now that I've died and rot.

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