emotions

You, Perfect Murderer

I believe,

I knew you.

Your prefect crimes.

Assume that I'm only-

A speck in time.

 

This scene is just a metaphor-

For blood sucking and bruises

Adorned.

You say that it's a phase-

And you'll be fine.

So, quote to me over again-

Your heart breaking traits will never end.

 

Your murderous lair-

Your victims tears glisten in your hair.

It pains me.

But , I'll be fine.

Swimming in your fortune.

Their graves are red, crimson and deep maroon.

 

And if your secret spreads-

This is the way it ends.

Just come back home.

Leave the hearts alone.

 

All of your dilemmas-

Make me weak and tremor.

Bloodly screams and moans.

When your world turns black-

Due to your flack and lack.

Remember you were told-

Dust grinded with bone.

Thoughts and Emotions

Folder: 
Mindscapes

 

My thoughts are

Disorganized, 

Shards of broken glass.

 

If I touch them, they will cut me, 

Blood spilling onto the floor, 

Tainting it, making it slick.

 

Or Perhaps rather

They are constantly shifting

Like a cloud in the sky

 

If I touch them, they pass

Through my fingers, out of reach

Where birds fly and wheel.

 

I close my eyes and reach blindly

Deep into the well of my mind,

Grasping desperately for sanity.

 

I surround myself.

 

Darkness explodes into color.

 

Notes flow past, 

Lifting, resonating

Pounding

Through my veins.

 

Thicker than blood,

Faster than clouds.

 

Spreading

Filling

As my soul flies.

 

Stronger than anger

More enduring than love

All the colors of the heart and mind

Fade in comparison.

 

Flaring white-hot spots of 

Brilliance, Blooming into 

Warmth, Cooling the mind, 

Easing pain and fatigue.

 

All the world is music.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Personal philosophy, 

 

Music is emotion, and emotion is music. There is no difference.

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Stolen Heart


 

Ferried away upon the heart you stole -

surrounded in an air of sun filled skies

Rises the spirit inside jubilant thoughts

flight to an inner Heaven - unseen by eyes

 

Sweet are the whispers to enlighten one's soul,

spoken in absence of an uttered word

In a dream belonging to other than night,

sincerity of a wish is the voice that's heard

 

A portrayal of love - blossoming with life,

bouquet held 'til the petal's final hours

Destinies shared for all remaining while,

dwelling together among the  flowers

 

Vision delivered into waiting arms,

not just an image for a mind's caress

Being hard to describe beauty so real,

perfection comes without terms to express

 

Ferried away upon the heart you stole,

surrounded by the sun filled skies

Rise my spirit in jubilant thoughts,

Heaven is seen through my eyes

 

© C.E.Vance

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just another thought.

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Twisted Lies

Happiness is what she confides in

As she stares into the night

There's nothing more satisfying

His comfort felt so right

She loves that calming look

As she looks deep in his eyes

But she suddenly has this feeling

That he's holding back some lies

He suddenly turned away from her

Now she felt so tossed

How can someone "complete" you

But continue to feel so lost

As she backs off from him

Her tears flowing down her face

He explains to her so tenderly

That he just needs some space

So weeks went by without one call

She started to feel her rage

He had her where he wanted her

Chained down and in a cage

She caught a glimpse of him one day

Her tummy in a whirl

For what she saw was full of pain

Him kissing another girl

Since that day she caged her voice

She put away her soul

Until that day she married him

And made her heart feel whole<3

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Had a little bit of help writing this from a friend :) but love how it turned out!

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Pretending With Issues

What’s the point of a friendship when there are deeper emotions involved?

Do you want continue play mind-games or be nothing to me at all?

I never lied to myself; your comforting words was never enough for me

You should know very well what I wanted you to see

My feelings aren’t meant to be played with like a mindless doll

Never been the type to pretend not when I have issues that makes me fall

My heart desperately needs affection, beating uncontrollably for you in all directions

It longed for yours but all you had to give is an erection

Will it be you pulling the strings, manipulated by a puppeteer’s selfish motives to the end?

Can it be so simple to just pretend?

Pretend nothing is wrong from within

Your actions are telling my heart, “Stop being difficult.” Is my love for a impassionate man a sin?

The morals inside of me tells me to press on and leave from this emotional torment

It’s not a relationship but I know I want to be free from the attachment

Friends never get this attached through one’s fascination

This isn’t no love, it could simply be infatuation

Admittedly, cravings of lust for you was there

Live with no regrets, all I can do is sincerely care

If respect was ever in your category, my departure from you then you’ll understand

Romantic love is just as rewarding as intimate lust, but to learn that you’ll have to mature further as a man

Take care; I hope you realize one day my heart was one of the rarest

 

Treat others the same way I loved you then may maybe you will end up with a woman just as fairest  

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Give me good feedback and criticism!

Fight the Love

I lay here

and my mind wanders

I drift into a realm of why

Why is he here

Why does he love me

Does he even know who I am

What I am

Where I am...

Because sometimes

I wonder...

 

 

 

Im a Lover, Not a fighter

As I love this man so

I get these weird feelings

That I should let him go

 

Im a Lover, Not a fighter

As he makes my heart flutter

I get these sad thoughts

of being put in the gutter

 

Im a Lover, Not a fighter

As he makes me feel complete

I tend to question myself

If his love is truly deep...

 

How can I know his love is real

How can I see how he truly feels

When do I know I need to let go

of the past pains thats killing me so

When do I learn how to fight for this love

Because fighting is not something I am of...

And why do I keep on getting these blues...

of the Why, how , What if and  how to's.

 

Im a Lover, Not a fighter

and I want happiness

So I hope I can figure out

My Emoitonal War mess..

7/23/13

Author's Notes/Comments: 

emotions..can really break me apart mentally..but i usually write when it does..

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the pond is our labyrinth

And since these are the last days

I say to you

Though my heart rips to shreds at the thought

Though the world is determined to keep caving in

Though my body slammed on the carpet and wished to melt into the dirt

There is a new road ahead that longs to begin

And I can honestly say that the days before were the brightest

My heart grips at its tightest

Because I can’t bear to think of a road for myself that sometimes steers away

I know it’ll come back to you

But this is unreal

Now I understand how teachers feel

When their students move on

This is reality

I pull on my hood

The only tunnel where I can console myself

And I walk down the road I’ve seen since birth

And though every step I take leads me closer to the unavoidable change

I know I need to keep walking

That doesn’t mean that when I reach home I won’t collapse and explode

But what do you expect when you don’t even know what to expect because expectations lead to destruction of faith and hope?

I can’t forgive the forces of the world we call home for doing this

I can’t even confirm that where I am now is home

Because home is where your loves are

And if my loves are in my heart, always, that’s one thing

They’re always in the same place

But my heart cannot be home

Because I cannot see inside

And if I cannot see inside

Then I cannot see you

And that is why I cry.

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Ruthless Monotony

I'd love to write a poem of hate right now,
But hate only brings the same,
I'd love to tear the walls down,
And paint everything black,
My soul is crying out with rage
Like an animalistic scavenger,
Seeking the blood to tear the guts
From the bellies of demons who created this disaster.

And inner peace speaks softly
All the while beyond this fury,
I cry not only for the anger,
But I cry because of this beauty,
A spark that's lived within the thrawls
And clutches of such untold deceit,
I'm weak as a lamb and fall down in mercy
...and bow to love's defeat.

 

7:45 PM 4/17/2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a poem about the silent spark that pummels through our rage. 'Be still and know that I am god--this too shall pass'

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Cheap Brandy and Desperation

Cheap Brandy and Desperation Lane,

love doesn't matter in this place.

Only drowning your sorrows in bitter taste.

Were feelings are gone, sex takes its place.

Yearning to feel anything but pain,

longing to know something that is real.

Passing up your inhibitions

And giving in to the feel.

Handcuffs and play things,

more Brandy on the rocks.

Nothing to keep you grounded,

ditch the shoes keep the socks.

You know she doesn't love you,

But you long to be inside her.

Confusing passion for affection

blurring your emotional divider.

She may long to get closer

yet you refuse to let her in.

Only wishing for more ectasy and pain,

let these sick games begin.

Then you feel yourself falling

its as if your losing control,

So you push her away

since she has strayed from your goal.

So you scour the the streets

looking for a girl on emotional vacation.

So you can both hide your depression,

in Cheap Brandy and Desperation

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Bleh... Too many poems focus on a girl's point a view so I did my best to capture that of a male

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