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I thought I could count my sins on one hand,

telling God I'm getting better, but I'm coogi sweater chilling in someone daughter bed. "Wake up shes here" shit, she pulling on my leg. When she want it, she need it, fuck it, we all greedy, her girlfriend dont even fuck her mind, and she love me because I always keep her wondering how. She never leaves my side because she know it's Bonnie and Clyde, I'm always down to ride. I'm getting better, I tell myself, God you sent me between them, I'm there to help. She texting me she want me, I'm trying not to want her too. But I hear her say it as I read it and I know it's true. And I want her to touch me in a way she's never even touched herself. Her mind melting in-between my legs, no consciousness but all head. When she done ill pick her head up by her chin.. 'I'm getting better'. And she'll kiss me cause she knows its true. She know I'm better right here and she is too.

Un aplauso a
Todo eso que vive
Entre, tu mente y tu boca, y 
Que nunca llega a salir
Esos momentos tuyos
Que tuyos se han de quedar
Hasta dejar de existir

Eso que habita la mente en forma de recuerdo,
De furtivos momentos escondidos en la normalidad
Detrás de un "nada" hay toda una vida en un instante
Un instante de vida oculta y presa
Entre tu memoria y tu boca

Mr. Famous (Chapter I)

*NOTICE* The following tale from my crypt is not for pure revenge, no. My goal here is not just to expose these secrets; but to use this for a time of healing and creative expression.This has been bottled up inside of me, and THAT'S NOT GOOD. For the health of my body, mind and soul, this must be brought into the light. This man, though I did hurt him and *I apologized *PROFUSELY* as I laid bare my soul to him, has used it against me to  gore me, and gave me that icy-cold chart-dominant Taurus silent treatment. Tit for tat I can understand. But he has gone beyond that by saying things about me that simply aren't true. He just kept hammering away at me and would not stop, far too much to be forgiven. Too many tears have been shed. This is not a good thing to do to *any* human being (we're all imperfect), let alone a woman with a penchant for revenge. However, I am attempting this not in an unevolved hateful fashion, for I do not hate him. I know he feels pain and suffers in many of the same ways I do. In some ways, I know he's feeling like a failure, for he has actually said this of himself, though not directly to me. As my information about this is from another source, I *know* he feels like a failure. But it's more than just reputable info; I just *know*. This is the deep, instinctive nature of anyone with chart-dominant Scorpio and dominant Pluto: We *know* our own pain and trauma, and can see the same in others. It is not my goal here to make him feel any worse, though that's likely to occur if he ever sees this at all. Though I dare not say everything as it could be damaging to this site, I must show courage in the face of despair. How far is too far to pay the price? Must I be continually humiliated and made to feel beneath him, and continue to suffer physical illness and acute depression due to his raging temper?  Are his fits of rage worth my body, mind and soul? Isn't enough enough? Because of the secretive nature of this affair, I must tread with extreme caution; for to rush things would mean major slip-ups of a very damning nature, and consequences, fatal to my career as a writer and this website. And I must take it nice and SLOW.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's not every day a girl gets to have a secretive relationship with somebody famous, even though the guy turns out to be a temper-tantruming toddler in a middle-aged man's body. That's the way it goes with celebrities, especially those whom one suspects *may not be whom or what they claim to be,* another reason to expose this secret. And especially one who has a "history"--you know: Restraining order, big-time pig-time meaningless lawsuit against his ex (poor woman), stuff like that?  Plus he's accused me of being "fake" in our convos--ooohoh, HELL. TO THE NO. That's the wrong move to make on a chart-dominant Scorpio. Especially when *my Mars is in Scorpio*.....

If I may backtrack for a moment: I do Western natal charts. And the natal chart I know better than anyone else's is my own.  I still study it, use it as a guide to understanding my behavior better. And more recent discoveries about me have given me back some of the personal power I had lost. Anyhoo, this process is life-long, quite literally taking the rest of one's life to fully understand--and you must make a commitment to it. There's never a dull moment, there is always more to learn, to dive down deep and always finding out more.  In self-discovery lies the true meaning of power.

Did I forget to mention that I'm also Pluto-Mars dominant?  I believe I did. Well, Pluto is my primary dominant, with feisty Mars at near-equal dominance.

Yeah that's right, people: Hella, dammit, Hella! Where was I? Oh...

"But Fran!  How do you know he's Taurus-dominant?"

*I've done his natal chart.*

"But Fran, don't you need his birth time, down to the hours and minutes?"

Scorpio Mercury(Rx) here, so I already have that. Scorpio-dominants are investigative by nature, so we know where to look. Plus every fan of his knows his birth month-day-year, etc.  He may be Gemini sun, but *nobody* is truly their sun sign, it goes much deeper than that. We are all so much more. We are more than the sum of all our parts. As I stated, I've done his natal, and he's definitely NOT Gemini-dominant. I'd have to look at it again, but if memory serves, his Gemini sun is weak, at the bottom of his sign-dominants. Yeah, I'll have to do re-check.

I have every weapon at my disposal to destroy Mr. Famous slowly, one brain cell at a time. Or, I can choose to go another route--less destructive, more constructive. Taurus-dominants hate the truth about themselves. They love doing that "truth-tear" unto others, but hate it when it's given back. Does *every* Taurus-dominant behave in this manner? Of course not. We are all human beings, with free will. Most of us act/react out of pain and with a need for Justice. It's only human. I'll try to be as evolved as possible while doing this, but I'm not making any promises I may not be able to keep for the entirety of this story. But I still intend to do this in true Scorpionic fashion: Very, very, slowly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mr. Famous (Christ, here it comes [assuming he ever finds this] ):

Oh, mon Cher. You've called me a blackmailer in our convos. That's not very nice, and very untrue. As I recall *correctly,* the tables are turned, as *YOU ASKED ME TO BUY YOU AN ITUNES CARD,* then twisted the convo around to suit your own personal gain, by telling me that I woefully failed the "test" when I didn't buy you one. *YOU WERE IN SAUDI ARABIA ON LOCATION, FILMING ON SET, (ah shit, here I go....), WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT *THAT*?! (shutupshutupshutup, I can't I can't I can't I can't)OOOOOHHH!!!!!!

$650 MILLION DOLLAR FORTUNE NEARLY GONE, (shutupshutupshutup) and you run me into the ground and rip my heart out of my chest (shutupshutupshutup, I can't I can't I can't) because one of your female fans didn't give in to you????? WOOOOOOOH!!! *YOU SHALLOW, GREEDY, INAUTHENTIC, CHEAP ASS @#$*$@#%*%$##@*%*%$@ (*sets mouth to full-on flame, DAMMIT*)

Oh, mon cher. You crossed me. Shall we kiss and make up? (Oh your ass...)

Oh, mon cher. *You have it coming*...........

(To be continued)

Zero to 500 instantly 

He did not talk about his feelings

instead…he hid them all away

and when she pleaded with him to talk to her

“It’s not what I do!” he’d say.

“But that is what lovers do!”

“They talk to one another.” she would say.

Yet, he would never listen…

til one day…

she went away.

Leaving him to ponder

as he sits alone today…

why the ones who are closest to us

should not be kept farthest away.

I want you on my insides, 

like when its raining outside and cars collide;

like laying in bed but our hips are tied;

like when your proping my legs up over your shoulder and your tongue slide.

Can you go deeper?

Tell me if my thoughts are too wild.

Would you put me to sleep boo?

Wondering if you liking this ride...

Til' you flip me over to my side and my legs divide

have me shaking and coming all over like im on some type of oxide...

or you lean upward and me crisscrossing you like im locked style

damn is the sex mild

hell naw, cause the sex wild

and i know that everytime you hitting my spot, i get loud

You see that effect... A Hard Smile. 

Lips piercing up against my neck, 

these sounds I'm trying to suppress.

He say, "I'm about to take you through this parsec,"

said " I need you to talk less"

"But your making my hair a mess"

"Your hair is not something to obsess"

Damn he make my pussy wet, 

if I must confess

I'm liking this compress

liking how he talking

and liking that aggress.

I tell him give me a sec.

so i can get undress...

little do I know, it's power he possess.

"May I intervene?"

he likes pulling all my strings

make me bend my knees, see he kinda a tease

so I'm bending over to the back, so he can eat my french cousine

I mean eat my chinese.

making me say please.

Maybe cross my T's

dot my I's

I swear you got me warm on the inside

letting lose like I ain't got no insides

"I told you tonight you was going to get that special surprise"

I noticed them from across the way…

her tears first catching my attention

and I wondered…was she sad or stressed or angry 

or filled with apprehension?

I saw her lips move but I could not hear her words 

as she laid her head upon his shoulder.

He said nothing, he let her cry…

all he did was hold her.

Again her lips moved as she turned her head 

and she looked into his eyes

He kissed her forehead, rubbed her arm…and listened to her cries…

I don’t know what she was telling him…

about her anger or her fears…

but he did not speak, he only listened…

then gently wiped her tears.

In a few minutes it was over…

she gave him an embrace.

She sat up a little taller 

and a smile crossed her face.

Again I saw her lips move, and again 

she laid her head upon his shoulder…

And again he said not one word…

all he did was hold her…

And I wondered as I watched them from afar…

As the few remaining tears on her cheeks seemed to glisten…

Perhaps sometimes people don’t need answers to their problems…

Perhaps they just want us to listen…

Verse 1:

Though, I long for you,

I cannot be with you.

Our paths are entwined.

If they ever cross,

Know that you are my destiny.

Fate only lets us meet

One another in this world.

Chorus:

I'll be your memory.

Let it enfold you.

Let it live on.

Don't you forget about me.

'Cause it's a beautiful life

That we have got to live for.

Verse 2:

I see your smile.

I hold back the tears

FRom the day I lost you.

Memories etch at my heartstrings.

But I know that it's over for us.

Bridge:

If you can take me on,

I'll be your everything.

It's a beautiful life that we've got.

I thank God for

Sending you to me.