Perfect Smiles Are No More

Perfect Smiles Are No More








There we go, Wasteland!
Loving not really, but the thing
—that only makes us happy.


The same cycle goes, without
saying, about escapist tendencies.


Loving thing, tender caresses
—Lacanian fantasies.


Nevermind the stars, our true nature.
Their influences are just imaginary.


See, now, our indwellings, barren abodes—yet endlessly


We smile at the Night Sky, and into the day

—love that's only meant for a daydream.









It’s funny the different people you meet in life who follow a similar routine…walk with me a moment and I’ll tell you what I mean.


Besides the first birds of the morning and the rabbits and other animals I greet along the way…there’s Bob who walks his dog at the same time every day.


There’s the old people sitting on the deck of their assisted living home…I usually count three…old people who are also up early…old people just like me.


There’s Stella, the homeless lady..who, I imagine, has lost her way…there’s the old man in a blue car who waves as he passes me each day.


And then there’s Oscar and Olivia another older couple who always pass me by…who love to do their walking under the moon…or a starlit sky.


I hadn’t seen Oscar and Olivia in a while…until just the other day when I noticed up ahead of me…Oscar walking my way.


“Hey, Oscar!” I asked innocently, “Where is Olivia this fine day?”

Oscar’s head bowed ever so slightly as he told me Olivia had passed away.


“I’m so sorry, Oscar.” I said as my own emotions I couldn’t hide.

“Let me tell you what I told Olivia,” Oscar said, “as I held her hand…the day she died.”


“I told her I’d loved her all my life…II told her never ever to forget…how my love for her was waiting in my heart long before the day we met.”


I told her I hope my love for her has matched all the love for me she’s shown…

I told her how I loved our walks together…and because I have our memories…I will never walk alone…


And I told her not to worry about me…though I’m not sure where…or when…

I have so much love for her that will be waiting…until we meet again…


I still follow my same routine each morning…I say hi to the animals, to Bob and his dog, to Stella, to the old folks…and before I’ve traveled vary far…as if our clocks are synchronized…I wave to the the man in the blue car 


And when I see Oscar coming toward me…as always…out of his way I politely slide…

giving him all the room he needs to pass…with Olivia by his side.

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The words we choose are powerful…

think of the different worlds we create 

when the words that flow from our lips 

are words of love and kindness…

as opposed to words of hate.


Words of love and kindness have the power to build happiness, 

to make us smile…

to bring another joy…

words of hate but one power…

the power to destroy.


We have a plethora of words of love and kindness at our disposal…

whatever kind of love we want to create…

ah…but therein lies the rub…

as the same holds true for hate.


When we use words of love and kindness…

when we see that smile on another face swell…

we can’t help but feel in our hearts

a little love and happiness as well.


When we use words of hate…

when hurtful obscenities we yell…

as we destroy another person…

we destroy ourselves as well.


It all comes down to the kind of echoes we want to leave behind…

the type of world we are trying to create…

Do we want to be cherished for our words of love and kindness…

or remembered for our words of hate?



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We met when our children were quite young…you had a boy, I had a boy and a girl…We fell in love and we didn’t think too much back then…about how our life would unfurl.


We got busy building our life together…and somehow when we were done…the two families from where we began…had blended themselves into one.





But is seemed there was always somethin’…call it luck, call it life, call it fate…that needed fixin’, needed mendin’, needed patchin’…and that trip of a lifetime could wait.


You fed us, you clothed us, you loved us…you taught us lessons we needed to learn…and you smiled…all the while you smiled…never asking for much in return.




But the kids started growin’ and needin’ you…”Hey Mom! Can you help? That’d be great!…and the car needed gas and repairin’…guess that trip of a lifetime could wait.


That’s what happens sometimes as we’re liivin’…seems no matter what plans we make day to day…things happen to change what we’re thinkin’…seems sometimes life gets in the way.




The kids grew up, moved out…had a life of their own…you did your job and they all turned out great!…and finally, at last, it was your turn…your trip of a lifetime need no longer wait.


We drove across the country together…stopping in places some near…and some far…we were determined to enjoy this journey…just the two of us in our little blue car.


And I loved watching your face on this journey…even though we were had a few more age lines…because every time I’d see a smile on your face…it somehow…brought a smile to mine.


As I look back on our incredible journey…all the good times…and all the bad too…I realized my trip of a lifetime didn’t begin in that car…it began…the day I met you.






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Here is a recent question posed to me that I needed time to think about…

What are the things in this world…I cannot live without?


Looking past food and water…the things my body needs in order to help it thrive…

I thought I’d concentrate on those things my heart and soul need to survive.


The first, for me, is love in all it’s many forms…like the love of my family and friends…Yes, love is definitely something in my life I never want to end.


The second would be hope…for even in my darkest times…when I was filled with doubt…hope was standing by my side telling me…things would all work out.


Any time a storm hit my life…no matter where or when…hope was there to remind me…the sun will shine again.


Perhaps that’s why I love sunrises so much…although this may seem a bit cliche…because rising with the sun each morning…is the hope of a new day.


The third thing would be beauty…for as long as I’m awake…I love my relationship with beauty…our subtle give and take.


For when the beauty I see around me…in the land, the sea, the air…finds its way into my heart…I begin to see more beauty everywhere.


Music would be next up…all the different types of music that I hear about…especially the music of nature…something I don’t think I could live without.


The roar of the ocean, the whistling of the wind, the sound of a single raindrop pinging…how you never know on a walk in nature which birds will be singing.


I’m sure there are more things I can’t live without that if I thought harder I would find…but these are the first four things that popped into my mind.


I don’t think it’s a coincidence that when I read this list backward…(the list I just made up above)…music, beauty, hope…all lead back to love.


No, I don’t think it’s a coincidence at all…in fact…I have do doubt…

Love is the greatest gift of all…and something I cannot live without.

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We hear this excuse quite a bit lately as we make our daily climb…

I have so much to do…so man responsibilities…I just don’t have the time.


I’m working hard for all the things I want…all the things I need

I don’t have time to exercise

to cook

to eat

I don’t have time to read.


I understand how busy we are in the world we’re trying to create

I only wish we were so busy…we didn’t have time to hate.


How wonderful would it be to hear words the world has never heard before:

I don’t have time for prejudices

I don’t have time for killing

I don’t have time for war.


because I’m too busy enjoying nature

spending time before each day ends

in the bosom of my family

or catching up with friends.


Imagine with me, if you will, a world we can create

where we’re much too busy spreading love

that we don’t have time to hate.



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There are a myriad of reasons he loved his mother…

From the pancakes she made on Saturday mornings to their walks along the sands

but what fascinated him the most was how she could smile with her eyes 

and the way she whispered with her hands.


His mother was deaf…she could not hear…

which meant words were hard for her to say…

so in order to communicate…they had to find another way.


So he learned to listen to her eyes…

he learned her eyes could say so much….

and in the confinement of her silence

he discovered the wonder of her touch.


Her eyes spoke of her joy, her fear

her surprise…her sadness too.

and on those days when he needed it most

her eyes said, I love you.


Her hands were a comfort to her, 

and offered him comfort too

and when she took her hands in his

he felt them whisper…I love you.


And though his mother never heard his words

and her words were forever hard to understand…

all his life he saw the love spoken by her eyes

and heard it whispered through her hands.

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Have you ever read a book to your child, back when they were young and more carefree?

They pick out a book, brings it to you, then climb up on your knee.


With your arms outstretched holding the book you and your child feel safe and warm…and you realize at that moment a perfect circle has been formed.


Your arms forming a circle with your child in the center.

A circle so intimate that for a short time…no one else can enter.


I hope we’ve all been blessed to be the center of a circle just like this…which usually ends with a sigh or a smile...perhaps a little kiss.


Soon that child gets too big for our knee as they grow into a woman or a man…and so we find ourselves searching for perfect circles where and when we can.


There are moments around the dinner table when you smile because you’re aware…as you scan from face to face to face…that the perfect circle is right there.


There are moments around a campfire where laughter is the norm…while kneeling down toasting a marshmallow you feel the warmth of that circle form.


You find these circles in instants…the fun is never knowing where they might be…when they’ll be captured by your heart and imprinted in your memory.


We hope our children and grandchildren remember when they sat upon our knee

We hope the circles we form extend out…like ripples on the sea


For, that is the beauty of the circles we create amidst our family and friends…once formed, that circle is unbreakable...

because a circle never ends.



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They loved receiving gifts from their Grandma and Grandpa but as birthdays and holidays flew by they noticed they never gave each other gifts…one day…they asked them why?


Grandma and Grandpa smiled as their memories began to drift.

We decided every day we get to spend together, they said…that would be our gift.


“And so we made a covenant that we would find a way to show each other we loved each other a little each and every day.


To give each other at least one gift of love before each day is through.

Not necessarily with the things we buy…but by the little things we say and do.


A smile, a kiss, holding hands, a touch…although they may seem small, 

we have found throughout the years are the greatest gifts of all.


We discovered just by the little things we do or something simple we might say we can make every day that we’re together into a holiday.


Their grandparents are both gone now but their grandchildren still like to boast…that the little gifts of love they gave them…are the ones they cherish most.


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