Heaven's Door

Lost in this theocracy

Lost in this theology

Lost in this technology

I still hold on


Stranded in darkness

Moping in blackness

Struggling in madness

I still see a light


Torn into pieces

Ripped inside out

Stripped of sanity

I still wish for redemption


Blinded from nature

Ignorant to what’s pure

Voided of love’s feel

I still dream of a light


My mind’s eye shattered

My center shaken to the core

My heart gut-spilled splattered

I still knock on heaven’s door








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The Soldier



Life behind bars

Just for what he stands for

Because he loves his country

And fought for her safety

Just to come back

For them to hate

He risked his life for them

But do they care?

No, they call him a reprobate


A weapon

Nothing more than an item


He tries to walk away

On what’s left of his legs

Sacrificed for his murderers

Given for them

There goes my hero

Watch him as he falls

See the tears roll from his eyes

As he keeps living

As he keeps fighting

For what is right

As he keeps hoping

That death comes swiftly

A man who fought for his country

To find he wasn’t part of it.


Oh how I long for that morning,

Of bitter aftertaste and scowling eyes,

Empty promises and separate sheets,

Laid bare among that ripened taste,

Of fruit that juices fall,

Like lemons from adamantine times,


Love holds me captive again,

As I tremble,

With bittersweet longing.


My Love

Gone today

Was here before

What was my joy

Walked out the door

All that I lived

Now is gone

All is lost

What once was won


Nothing left

There’s nothing more

All my dreams

Crashed on the floor

My hopes are shattered

My vision’s battered

Forsaken, bereft

There’s nothing left

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Beauty Disguised

Beauty disguised in rumpled tatters;
dressed in undoing - not of one's own
Handed to fate - lacking an escape,
sitting by the wayside knowing you're alone

Teardrops leaving traces in the dust;
streaked smudges erasing a hundred more.
Upon your face - the pangs of misery speak;
each moment passed, is time to abhor

Draped in the garments of disparaging grace,
shrouding misfortune falls at your feet
A taunt of hope to end with every day,
honey to vinegar - tastes so bittersweet

An open palm implores meager means;
a morsel of crumbs to ease hunger's vile
Gifted manna is a mirage to the mind;
a moment in dream brings retch of bile

No thoughts to ease reality's blight,
suffers the child with no course to seek
Foreign is smile beneath saddened eyes;
rose's color denied to either cheek

As evening greets without place to rest,
on barren ground, you lay your head
Waking nightmares is the life you lead;
morning approaches, bringing all its dread

Adorned with discarded dreams and hope,
cycle repeats until all is made right
Bring to your heart a child without home;
show your love - help end their sorrowed plight

Beauty disguised in rumpled tatters;
dressed in undoing - not of one's own
Handed to fate - lacking an escape,
sitting by the wayside knowing you're alone

© C.E.Vance

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Through my eyes.

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Mirror Mirror on the Wall

She stares at me with intense distaste.
I soak in her scrutinizing judgment
As our eyes lock.
A dolorous sobbing begins in her throat
And slowly creeps upon her face as her brow furrows.
Her eyes look on with a new potency;
All hatred has left the cloudy blue spheres,
And in its place a sickening anguish.
Her bleak eyes plead with me for help.
Just as my mouth opens for reassurance
a laugh escapes her lips and her eyes drop to the floor.
Cheerfulness envelopes her body as she cries out with laughter.
I begin to smile back at this playful new friend,
But again I see her eyes.
I helplessly stare into the threshold of her scars and sorrows,
Wishing to once more only see her pseudo-happiness.
Her smile widens,
Knowing I’ve seen past her façade.

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The Mirth of Misery

her contagious smile she hides behind
Touches everyone and everything,
Except for her eyes.

For in those pale blue eyes,
Lies the threshold to the labyrinth
Of scars and sorrows buried deep inside.

Her sweet songs of laughter and happiness
Flood through you until you plunge into
A tranquil state of pure euphoria and bliss.

Never open your ears
If she’s singing her songs,
Or you might hear the cries masked in the giggles.

But if you happen to see her eyes
And or hear her cries,
Be sure not to share.

Silently bathe in the clutch of her woe,
For if you reach out,
You could alleviate her pain.

And when her grins become real and her laughs truly merry,
The aches of humanity
Will need a new heart to carry.

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Of Sin and Sorrow

Welcome the opium, caressing your being.

You know that it’s wrong, but oh so freeing,

Baby close your eyes, let it all in.

Come, let us bathe in Sin.

Taste that sweet poison, lithium to your lips.

This is all playing out, like actors with scripts.

Imbibe a little more, and watch the room spin.

Come, let us bathe in Sin.

Our bodies intertwined,

While slowly I whine.

Don’t do this, You know you’re in bliss;

Just stay right here, skin on skin.

Come, let us bathe in Sin.

Striding toward the door,

Mumbling, “what a whore”.

No, what have I done?

Please, please hun.

Come, let us bathe in Sorrow.

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she could be anyones bowling ball

And then ill sleep, sleep till tomorrow
and thats fine with me, ill sleep through the sorrow
ill see the end, the end of it all
and ill watch, watch as these walls fall down
down into rubble and ill cry, cry as the pain enters me
and ill see this world for what it really is
the pain, the pain that enters the void
the sorrow, the sorrow that lasts till tomorrow
and ill sleep, sleep till tomorrow
and ill laugh, laugh as it all falls down
and withers, and burns, turns into ashes that i hold in my sorrow
ill watch as you all fall down
helpless in bed i will sleep till tomorrow i will dream until the end of all days

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I want to say i wrote this, i sort of did & i sort of dident, i actually dreamt this song, i was sleeping & this beautiful woman in white came to me and sang this, i woke up in tears because the way she sang it was just so beautiful words cannot describe.
so in a sense, i only wrote this poem for everyone to see, but the woman in white in my dream actually came up with it.

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