fragile

This love is treacherous

 

I stayed in a psych ward for a few days because of breakdowns I keep having.

I cut a lot and deep. I didn't have music, facebook, no electronics while I was

staying in the hospital...all I had were a pen and pieces

of paper to spill ink all over”- Amanda Day

 

(Feb 10th, 12:20 P.M)

 

Lies never tasted so good,

never melted so sweet,

a perfect sunset in the bare eve,

never did the dawn of day yell at me,

don't close your eyes,

safe and sound,

you'll be alright,

the dawn of eve sings of sins and truths,

never before did

the Raven look so black,

never did the crow caw so

loud,

so loved,

as a feather falls from the sky,

the petals dance on her lips,

tears fall upon her eyes,

fragile as a glass vase,

this day dream is dangerous,

I love it

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I stayed in a psych ward for a few days because of breakdowns I keep having. I cut a lot and deep. I didn't have music, facebook, no electronics while I was staying in the hospital...all I had were a pen and pieces of paper to spill ink all over”- Amanda Day

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Life is Fragile

Folder: 
Life

Is it just me

who looks at the stars 

every night

and stops

and thinks

of how fragile life is.

 

How we find such joy 

and care

in that short time we have

 

How we learn to desire

and hope 

and wish

 

And yet,

life goes so quickly

that we all but forget

the little things

that once made us smile

and laugh 

and love

 

How easily we think 

of the hurt we caused

or the pain we felt

or the suffering we had

 

and yet we cannot easily recall that which mattered to us

in times of need. 

 

Life is fragile.

A constant battle between love and hate,

a continous struggle between hope and despair

and yet we all live our lives in this exact way

never considering that one day

we will no longer exist

and all that will remain 

is what we gave to the world

whether that be good or bad. 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

some drabble about life and how fragile it seems to me. Enjoy! 

Facade of a clown

Seems I worry for no reason.. I fall asleep wishing for a change of season.. 

so much for surrounding yourself with "people that care" ..  we all need some fucking fresh air.

 

in matrimony you bled, everything twisted backwards..

you fled, flew away from your mistake..

she hurt you, it's something that can't be erased..

newly wed, lay in bed... with sorrow written all over your face.

 

was I but your placid escape..? like a rope thrown out to sea, for you who was drowning..

age doesn't matter, because who was counting..?

 

my thigh hurts now.. at least it's only my fault, & no one else.

funny how when people hurt you, they blame you for it..

& when you hurt them unintentionally, they still place blame.

either way, it's all the same.

so that's why I alone, will be the one to hurt myself.

you just stay the fuck away.

the damage is already done, no need for you to put me down.. i'm not a silly clown..

your laughter brings disgrace... I want to rip out your teeth... 

everything you've said to me won't be tossed to the side so willingly..

but i'll try to forget.. & let God take care of my revenge. 

 

whatever you've inflicted upon me, will come back to you.. 

you think you're so righteous, so holy.. the one & only...

you think you've crushed me...

silence will be my greatest defense.. a smile will be my shield..

i'll carry a knife, dug within this heart..

& next time you start, i'll dig it right into you.

 

this battle is far beyond our comprehension.. it's between the angels & demons, God & the devil..

so it might not look like i'm doing anything.. but I have both on my side, both defending me.

because he who knows the war runs deeper then words..

deeper then feeling.. deeper then anything you could possibly see..

will be the one winning. 

the angels know what you've done.. they touch my hand, to re-assure me of their loyalty..

the demons have a chamber for you, down in hell.. you'll be put to work, under a spell..

 

my fragile existence will not crumble..

this crippled mind will not give in... 

you'll be entranced by the spell of eternal misery...

working to pay back the debts you owe, to those whom you've put down..

criticised, judged... beneath that facade, you're the clown.. 

Oxygen Genocide

when will we learn to discern ego from truth, & justice from what is right or wrong.. 

your skin feels like glass scratching against the surface of my spirit, & who you are is what you shape yourself to be..

but you'll never be a part of what is me.

shaking with some persperation, tied down & untame.

name's without faces...

 

blank plastic figures taking over your home place & shattering what's left of your heart's fragile stained glass case,

cracked & already chipping all over the place.

emotional sea over-riding me. there's never a drought in her desolate, humid mental space.

her own breath she's suffocated by..

further wandering into the forest, dimmer as each one dies.

the air must be experiencing high tide.

oxygen genocide. the smoke get's thicker as time passes you by..

 

climbing ladders, risking your life for status & score.

are we nothing but empty within our core?

destiny must be further out at sea, & these clouds are all that's guiding me.. 

a bit confusing, these doors close behind me..

the shut & slam grows louder each time.

am I walking on a thin line? is there someone there beneath me..?

 

close your eyes, & see further inside.. reality is just a disguise.

if you can refrain, don't let imagery corrupt your mind.

each & every time I come back around from outside the lines, the coloring is always the same.

dull & grey.. not to change...

i'll leave another blood stain on your concrete floor as i'm walking out the door, once again..

I should of never stopped back in.

 

imagine, ponder. your love, paralyzed & controlled by fear.. it doesn't feel like they're really here.

all you thought they were is just a blur, or a phase.

the vibe is in constant change. dampened by the harsh rain.. 

spiritual metamorphosis, brain activity levels to hold sustained.

 

sometimes the screaming within me won't subside.. should I hide?

all I really want is to be one with the sky.

is there only paradise behind the gate's, entering the afterlife..?

What I am.

Porcelain.
Porcelain hands, legs, chest, face, and heart.
That is what I am.
Fragile, underestimated, overlooked.
Admired, but not loved.
Envied, and untouched.

Painted lips, dead eyes, no emotion, no voice.
That is not what I am.
Weak, empty, forgotten.
Looked at, yet seen right through.
Touched, without being felt.

I don't know what I am.
I am unseen, and unimportant.
Yet I am gazed upon, and held dear.
What am I?
A Doll?
A Trophy?
A Girl?
A Soul?
A Someone?
A Nothing?
Who knows.
Perhaps, I simply am, what I am.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

thoughts/comments appreciated.

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FRAGILE (SENRYU)

The heart is fragile

encircling it with love

holding it captive.

(c) copyright heather burns

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