scream

siberia [prelude for time feelers]

I was starting to believe

that in me grows a Siberia

that birds will fly soon and all that’s left is the log

on which the ravens will hang like bowls

and will lighten dark.

no, I  don't open myself too much

you know

these things come simply from you

and scream.

 

let me scream then

about the red led that is watching me since the night began

about the powerless cactus flower

about those lost on the bumpy road

because

nothing is earned without a fight

 

I have already learned the fish’s movement in the fishing net

you would say I am ready

in reality I spin around people until I get dizzy

I stop only when dreams curl my hair

and  you are on my island of words

 

only then I can get together

like a stray dog above a steamy sewer.

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A Baby's Heart-Wrenching Scream

Something happened to me and it was extreme.

As I was aborting a baby, it let out a loud scream.

The scream was heart-wrenching and it was chilling.

It was terrifying and I certainly didn't like the feeling.

There were no ifs, ands, or maybes.

I decided to stop aborting babies.

I can still hear that baby's horrible scream.

I would give anything if it was only a dream.

It was an experience that I truly deplore.

I decided then and there not to abort babies anymore.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem is based on a true story.

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Spiral to the moon

the eyes are so beautiful... 

people abuse their lips too often.. 

ugly words.. distraught faces.

passing through dark voids.. 

black spaces.. 

footprints in cement..

writing in sand.. 

 

mistakes made, but by the time I realize..

it always seems just too late.

maybe we don't deserve a second chance..

sometimes I feel like that's all I need.

guess i'll have to deal.

 

in my mind, i've kneeled to you & cried.

in this heart, my yearning towards you will not subside so easily.

my soul is screaming..

there's a spirit looking down..

such disappointment,

destroying me.

 

false reality you try & pull her into..

worn limbs, shattered smiles, heavy eyes.

the pain is swelling..

so fake, you keep on, like a robot, with no cause...

fuck these man-made laws.

I don't need your restriction to enjoy myself.

these rules crash down, fallen stones on the ground..

 

I will blow away with the leaves, for I am not stablized as the trees.

some night, near or distant, I will fly up & greet the moon..

when I get there, i'll ask, "is it still too soon...?"

Scabbed

if I had a scar for every mistake i've made..
I think i'd have as many as you.. 
Satan is impaling his dagger into my throat..
why can't you see that inbetween every breath, I choke..
you spin that thread like some spider in the corner above your bed..
casting webs into thin air.. 
you look so evil while you sit back & stare...
everything around you struggling..
 
your screams echo in the center of my head...
sound waves of pain..
pulling me further into disdain..
from you I try to refrain...
I swear every single day is just another suicide..
all you've got is filthy money on your mind..
 
if I could, I would wipe you out..
never to see the grey of another fucking New Jersey day..
would you finally be happy?
stop saying "it'll always be this way"..
cause fuck you i'm going to get out of here no matter what I have to do.
I've grown tired of the constant debating with you..
just let me do what i'm going to do..
apparently my hands aren't clean anyway, so bloodstains wouldn't make a difference..
it can be washed off, but the memory leaves a permanent stain.
 
inhaling that same toxic air...
how do you ever expect to get anywhere..?
your eyes have grown faint & your laughter means nothing to me..
you're all just bathing in one another's self destructive disease.. 
 
I want so badly to just float in the sky...
I need a real change of tide.. 
I want to climb a purple mountain,
dive off & grow some black angel wings,
man of all the fucking simple things.... 
can I fly to another dimension?
or will this back always be scabbed of the wings you've prevented me...?
robbing me of my potential as I watch everyone else let their's coil down the drain..
damn.. which of us is truly insane?
 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

2.8.13

stressed and distressed

silent screams and suicidal pleas.
distressed and stressed,
he says she couldn't care less.
"love me, you don't",
do anything... he says, "she won't."
her sanity is peeling,
she's getting tired of dealing,
again and again.
she wants to give up,
and he's lost all trust.
she's trying to be,
and trying to succeed,
but all she's doing,
is the devilish deed.

-un

Gotta do something. It’s coming. It’s coming like a train, or a thunderclap you wait, breathless, for. Surprise of an expected break in space so loud and there it is, pour yourself into it, scream into it and push your soul in there. I know why the wise sang in resonant wordless syllables to drumbeats. It comes—it will come—it is coming—and if you don’t pour it out it rips out of you. In you it builds up like Babel, up to the sky with unaligned dialects, all kinds of
words maneno
palabras
ordet kata
parola

—I bet you don’t even understand me now. I’m throwing up words hoping you know but they deflect.

Defect.

Gotta do something. Gotta scream to get it out. Gotta write some words down, stupid poetry you hate and hide in notebooks, stupid pictures drawn with a hand so forceful it burrows backwards in your paper; shiny graphite in the ditches of your pencil marks
making some kind of record—like graffiti, like a stain, like bleach on your clothes and blood on the floor and scars on your face and
prove you are really here and you got a soul to pour
see how it drips down between the cracks
and the train is running into you, through you, the tower is falling down
fiery around you, better let it
I wanna fill the world up with my screams
I want the world to run through my small collection of stains.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

for this day
January 27 2012

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tags:

"Sword Play"

Folder: 
My Work

This is not rehearsal,
the blood you see is real.
There will be no reversal,
these scars will never heal.
No masquerade is allowed here,
be sure your weapon's sharp.
Your nemesis can smell your fear,
like honey, in the dark.
Interacting with pure blood,
smeared with hallowed stain.
Gore he can't get enough of,
wet dreams of your pain.
Dancing with the spectral Death,
Jezabelian scheme;
You won't feel His claws or breath,
before He hears you scream.
He has been around for aeons
He designed the game.
His specialty is crucifixion,
do you know His Name?
Competition's stiff; mindless zone,
where the trophy case stays filled,
better leave the Origins of chaos alone,
let it balance karma at will.
" Oh", you say, you "thought" you knew,
familiar tactics, sure.
Well, I feel sorry then for you...
let's ask Lucifer...."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Everyone has their perception of things, I am sure.

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Your lies

Screams never heard'
Lies never should.
Rumors ruined my life,
Love was a waste of my time.
Heart beats weaker;
Emptiness strengthens,
Hurt much deeper,
I though you were a keeper.
Look to my soul,
Its so dark and cold.
Look to my soul,
Its shallow and old.

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No one listens

Why listen to you,
When all these years no one listened to me?
I screamed all these years,
But all you heard was what you wanted to.,

Author's Notes/Comments: 

thought of my parents

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