Ghost of You


I feel like I'm grasping

At what's already gone
A shade of the past
A cruel man's con


And I cannot figure
How we got here
To a place where I shed
Many a tear


Where my tears mingle
With the rain
And although I love you
You cause me pain


How'd we get here
From a place so bright?
Appeared in darkness
What happened to the light?


From a time when we'd
Speak everyday
A time long ago
When "you're perfect" we'd say


A time when I'd
Call you sweetheart
When we were together
Yet so far apart


It's been a year
Since the start
Were you ever not
In my heart?


I'm clinging to
These fond memories
Soaked by my sorrow
Down on my knees


A month without you
Feels like eternity
I feel you slipping 
Into anonymity


All this history
Was any true?
This unfinished business
The ghost of you

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Burned bridges

Burned bridges



I was raised in a ruined country

Driven by warlords

and sick ambitions

Youth shattered on the burned bricks

of bombed factories

Learned to hate

and doubt in everything

Trust no one

Thought to be everybody`s enemy

My toys were leftovers of

civilized world

I forgot to use words

only to point finger and yell

Burned bridges

Images of tomorrow

Cold places

Dark faces

Grim stoned cases

Flight over pieces

of empty minds

Cold hands hugging dying

General`s shadows on the walls

Sounds of jet engines

and diesel tank machines

Round bullets as value of life

Life costing but a bag of flowers

or  a can of gas

Worthless paper money

That byes nothing

Nothing but misery

Swollen wrists

Torn nails

That try to dig way out

Ghosts in the eyes of people

Lucky bastards that got

nothing to lose

Ears tuned to national tv stations

Triggers ready to strike

Shotgun on head of masses

Rotten tomatoes in courtroom

Too easy to vanish

Too hard to stay

Let all loose down the hill

Raise your hands and praise all

mighty president

Speech is censured

But still can beg

There is only one way out

Six feet under

Under Skin

Self Loathing

These demons inside me

Stretch this body; so worn

Wearing me like prideful skin

Comfort is never born

Damned a daughter of Darkness

It leads, whenever I stand

"Come with me" it whispers

As its slowly giving a hand

Ripples under skin

Tingling down my spine

Where is the light so needed?

Where is the divine?

It's slithering through my veins

Beating with every thought

"Rest your head" it whispers

"I'll give you everything you've sought"

Fighting within myself

Will it ever go?

Or will I be lost forever?

The Darkness loving to sow

I feel like this is the end

How can I spread this out?

Justifying my passage not clear

Still swallowed by its wrathful clout

I Lost My Girlfriends Ferret

I lost my girlfriends ferret

When did I become it's godparent ?

I assumed hed be ok


Cats only eat  rats

But to dogs, cats are gnats

Cats now have a smaller target

This room is a house pets farmers market

Its been 4 hours

Im not sure where hes at. Under the towels?

My girl gets home in 1 hour

I should look behind the cat tower

But I cant control when I feel that inspiration power

Good morals. . . nope. Thats a miss

I do hope hes alive and well. Hope nothings amiss

But hell

Hell of a selection of pets

This is turning into a big mess

Listening to the front bottoms

When I see him trotting, GOT HIM!

Thats a lie. Optimistic daydreaming

I feel like im gonna pass out, think my brain is bleeding

Im starting to get anxious, he might be dead

Tina's gonna have my head

Hes probably hiding under the dresser

Get on my knees. . . 2 cats, My stressor

Under the bed. . . platform bed, next. . .

Behind the desk. Now im on a quest

Where is this smelly bastard

I look at my tequila. . . not the time to get plastered

I look with dread at her closet

Mess inside more messes. My thoughts fill with omelots

Pull out a old dog bed, guitar hero controller, random boxes

Then gasp at the carcass

All twisted and mangled

My dread dangles

Then I remember his back is like a wirlwind

Stupid ferret spines are inverted

I snatch him up, he licks my thumb

Too relieved, and all that cute, I succumb

Hug him and finish up this poem

Its getting long but it shant be cloven

I leave with this, the relationable, dont ignore your lovers animals

For you are probably replacable but I guarantee her pets are her capital

Her money, her wealth, her investment

We men are less important than that smelly ferret





Author's Notes/Comments: 

well the poem pretty much explains it. I lost her ferret and decided that was a good poem somewhere, halfway through it he was really lost and wory sat in. Kept going from typing to searching to typing. (More time searching) Got him in the end though :)

7/3/2015 9:50PM 10 minutes till she gets home XD


730 days for you

has felt like 730 years for me

and the moment id been waiting for;

wasnt something youd been waiting for.

it also wasn't how i expected it to be,

although it only wouldve been if you were expecting it 

and im so afraid that itll happen again; 

those 730 years that you thought were okay,

because for you they were just days

and thats why i should be afraid.

but every hour of those 730 days,

every day of those 730 years, 

i missed you;

and each and every one of those 




there were over 730 million thoughts in my head

all about you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

PLEASE tell me how it is!

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once upon a time



Once upon a time

when you were mine

there was a time

said for all time

you’d be mine

once upon this long lost

but not forgotten time

you are no longer mine

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My Darling Sara



Long I looked into the night
weeping, wondering, worn and weary
of the search
the darkness pushing, pressing
down upon my soul
holding against me with unseen hands
in hope of having me fall in defeat

and under the moon's drooping sorrow
given to silence the sickness that still
ills my heart if I should hear her
voice no more

Through rotten woods of the rabid unknown
I travled far
fighting the fear that flooded
my veins should my nightmares
come alive in the night
and the howling cry of death's dogs
devour the remnats of my shattered soul

 The amber glow flickering in my hands
offered no relief leaving only
a dim light lingering on in front of
lost feet that may never find
thier true happiness
to be left seeking forever a faint echo

For many a second passed me by
crawling, creeping, carrying her away
into the nevermore
my maddness growing, growing
within wild, and wearing away
at the determination that once was
would I ever find her

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Lost Time in Istanbul

Istanbul, I’m lost again.

This time abroad, without a friend.

You’ve taken and shaken what little faith,

Torment and torture inside my face,

Where will I seek reflection so far from home?

Wander your streets and search for known.

I am myself, but some different

Your air and sea is not content.

Noise and noise inside my head,

You have no remorse as if I am dead.

Your heart is cold and mine is gone

The hug feels like I don’t belong

And I’m confused


What is your love?

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*You Don't Love Me Like You Use To*


 November.3.2013 7:20pm

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins


It seems like you're slipping away

This thought could be wrong

I just want you to stay

Our love to be strong


I don't want it to be just about sex

Or who could tease more

I just want to hold you till next

I want you to adore 


You don't love me like you use to

Like the first day we really met

Then it's like you knew

You had our life set


Now it seems like you don't give

You don't hold me as much

Without you I won't live

All the time I want to feel your touch


Baby I love you too much to let go

So I hold on

I think you don't know

I hope when you figure it out it's not long


You are the only one for me 

There is no way I would leave

Can't you see 

What can I do to make you believe


I can't sleep at night

Knowing what I know

How can I make you understand

Your love I just want you to really show

If you're not here where is my heart

Suppose to land


I gave you my heart

It seems like you don't care

But everything is falling apart

Why are you so afraid to share


Your thoughts and dreams

Together with you would make me

So filled with joy

Together we would make a wonderful team

Someday in the future I'd like to have your boy


There is one source of love 

And you and I can cherish

The blue sky above 

If you tell me bye my heart wil parish


It's like you don't love me 

Like you use to

Inside my heart bleeds 

I wish you knew

That my heart..you is all it needs