A child hood so lost! 2015

A child hood so lost 2015


looking back to yesturday the memories surface

tears she has shed on her lips she could taste

dare not close her eyes for the darkness does cost

wisked back to the past of a child hood so lost

just ten years old when her innocence was forsaken

she felt her child hood was wrongfully taken

week after week she endured such darkness

she was never the same from a crime so useless

her cries go unnoticed and she could never post

so all she does think about is a child hood so lost

he told her to keep this dirty deed a secret

or she would be sorry and that you can bet

so she suffered in silence for three years at least

then one day it was over no more of that beast

she went home in silence never did she boast

to all that she's been thru from a child hood so lost!




Author's Notes/Comments: 

this poem i wrote is like many of my poems is my child hood my councelor told me to let it out when i was ready well it took me 33 years but i finally did it

  hope you like it!!!!!!!!!


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Stones Covered in Chocolate Frosting

We were once teammates
That grew close to one another
When we shared our darkest moments.
We worked together to help others
And to help ourselves lift each other up.
Our team was broken up
Almost as fast as it began.
But we held each other close
And we never knew our bond would follow suit.

You wrote me a letter through your heart.
I smiled because it meant so much and I felt the same.
I thought when you made the promise
You'll be there when I need a shoulder to cry on.
I felt like I could never be alone again.
But where were you when I struggled?

You made a mistake that changed your life
And every memory, every moment we spent
Was gone forever.
You drift apart like a plane taking off.
That is when I saw the stones covered in chocolate frosting.

Now you regret everything you did with me.
You even regret writing this letter.....
So it was all a lie?
The very letter that meant so much was just a curtain.
A curtain that covered a knife that left an open scar.
I continue to pick up the pieces of this mess to this day.
While you need your space.

How long will you need it?
A week? A month? A year?
How long will it be until I disappear and it is too late?
Enjoy your life while you still have it.
I won't be here when you come back.
I'm sorry.....

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Trisha M Barrek Hopkins

There's cobwebs over your eyes
And dust in your mouth
The tears you no longer can cry
You feel your heart going south

Wondering which direction to go
You look in the mirror at your reflection
But that person no more do you know
You no longer know how to give affection

You struggle everyday
With everything around you
You don't know what to say 
With the ones that show love
You don't know what to do


The cobwebs are gray and thick
Tears can not come through
No matter how hard you try
You remain down and blue
And your eyes remain dry


You try to talk it out
But nothing comes out right
And towards you others shout out loud
And it always turns to a fight
You have no clue to how to fit in...in a crowd
So you close yourself off
Getting close to anyone you don't allow
remembering the touch..so soft


The moment from the beginning is gone
trying to figure out what happen with each other
what could possibly went wrong
But still you can live with no other 
Hes the one is strong
The way you feel is holding you down
You cant leave 
so you sit with a crooked frown
and you heart once again bleeds



to be continued i got writers block....hope you like it so far...

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*Shadow of You (2)*

Trisha M Barrek Hopkins
Dedicated to Tops my lil stray kitty from Tree Tops indoor/outdoor pool @ fernwood Hotel & Resort. I miss you frown emoticon

A shadow of you 
That's all I see 
I can see right through
You're still alive how can this be
This cant be true

You aren't dead
I can see you and feel your touch
Maybe it's all in my head 
Maybe it's because I miss you so much


My mind must be playing tricks on me 
I know I have to but I don't want to let go 
You're my kitty I don't want to set you free
It's the only right thing to do I know


But every time I see a shadow
I think it's you 
But turn around and no ones there
I miss your eyes 
That powerful glow
It's just not fair 


Everything I love it's taken away 
It' either hurt or stolen
And I have no say
Except that when you're not here
My heart is swollen 


A shadow of you 
Is all I have which makes me very sad 
One that is so close to my heart so true
To once have you as my pet makes me glad


I will never forget
The times when you ran to me
And on my lap you slept
Hope much I cared I hope you knew
You'll always be my favorite pet



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*To My Kitty Cat*

Trisha m. Barrek Hopkins
Dedicated to Tops from Tree Tops Pool at Fernwood Resorts 

I miss my little kitty cat 
He loves me so 
Each day he would purr and fall asleep on my lap 
The trust he has in me only i know 

Its not fair 
When i left work i had to leave him behind 
Nobody knows for him just how much i care 
A special kitty cat like him again ill never find 
My life with him i want to forever share 

My father he doesn't understand 
He doesn't know i cry at night 
Tops is not coming home is all he demands 
So the memory of my kitty cat i hold on tight 


I will never forget 
Every morning i would call and there he is to greet 
I do want to thank god that kitty and i met 
But i don't understand my kitty why couldn't i keep 


It is so hard to go on each day 
Without seeing his cute tiny face 
I hope he's safe and warm this to God i pray 
In my heart he holds a special place


No matter where i go 
I will never really forget the day i had to say good-bye 
I didn't abandon my kitty i hope God will let him alone 
And my heart still will ache and cry 


I send to my kitty cat 
All the love i can give 
He will always be my very best friend 
A happy and healthy life i hope he will live 
I want him to know I will love him beyond life's end 



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Do better

I don't always make the right decisions.

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The Lost Poet

The poet is lost,

Since he can’t write, almost,

Not literally,

But in his psyche.


What is the stature,

Of a poet without his nectar?

The food of his mind,

Is way behind!


O poet! Let your words fall like rain,

Gift us with your pearls; let us get rid of pain.

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Wandering Traveler

Come fellow travelers and wandering folks.

Come and hear a tale about ghouls and ghosts.


Come sit around the fire and warm your hands.

Come and share stories about distant lands.


Come drink my wine and laugh at my jokes.

Come and sing songs about dreams and hopes.


Come listen to the drum beat and dance on the sand.

Come and watch the moon in the night sky so grand.


For when the morning comes and we bid farewell.

There will be no more stories and tales to tell.


For you will continue on your travels , while I remain.

Never to sing songs and dance again.


My purpose fulfilled, I shall crawl and hide back in my shell.

A stranger to all, alone I shall dwell.


But through your stories , the world will know my name.


They will know about the stranger who dwells in the spiritual plane

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He took away something I could never get back

The innocence of a child now self esteem is what I lack

I was only 7 or 8 how was I supposed to know?

I never knew someone could do something so low

Thinking back on it now I wondered why did I let him touch me

Was "no" and kicking not enough to get him off me?

I told him "no," mom I told him "no" like you always taught me 

Why didn't he stop mom? I said "NO!" Why couldn't he let me be?

To him I was just a stumpy still tree 

He took away something deep

My mind, some nights I couldn't sleep

But I'm stronger now and more confident in myself

I won't let this guy take my stress or my health

I've never told anyone this and I probably never will

Part of me feels guilty, maybe if I had it would of stopped the chills

But now I'm 21 and I'm starting to see

That NOT everything was taken away from me

I REFUSE to let this man take anymore from me

The innocence of a child is ALL it will ever be.

I am still a Virgin, something I hold on to with all my heart

I plan to be, till the day I walk down the isle with my future sweetheart 

People wonder why I don't like being touched?

They call me prude and judge but I don't nudge

The simplest thing, like holding hands I couldn't even do

And that's all yes, yes because of YOU!

No one knows or truly understands

Why I would never take anyone hand in hand 

People say I come off strong and confident, in my head I say "if you only knew" 

That it was all a facade behind something SO TRUE 

But now I can finally say that this facade has turned to truth

I'm starting to leave everything that happened in my youth.

Someone once told me, "never regret, if it's good, it's wonderful, if it's bad, it's an experience."

So I'm taking that as a bet

I'm starting to face my past without regret 

Because if it didn't happen I wouldn't have worked up the courage to be up here

Speaking with words that are so sincere.

Richard Bach once said "what the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly" 

My translation is that I'm transitioning to a new beginning and moving on from the past 

Its not the end but a new beginning at last

I like to end things on a good note

So here is one of my favorite quotes 

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I've never had anyone read any of my poems before, this is my first one that I have posted, let me know what you think! This is a poem about me and it is all true.

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