popular opinion

Naive am I, to realize this cultural lie and continue to live in it

Shameful am I, to see His hand held out to me and only grab His pinky

Loved am I, to feel His presence and witness His fatal actions to prove us worthy

Blessed am I, to be allowed salvation and forgiveness of sin

Coward am I, to know truth and refrain from preaching it

Phony am I, to wish to be loved in His heart and then break it

Strong am I, to admit weakness and see light in darkness

Faithful am I, to believe all is well and strive for His acceptance

Invented am I, to be taught wrongful rights and follow fragulant foot steps

Confused am I, to be only human and pray to be righteous

Two sided am I, to fight for rights and pray for love and peace

Lost in a culture of lies

Stuck with wicked habbits


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Stay Forgotten

The tap tap tapping of his feet grow louder on the hard linoleum floor as his heart beats faster. Pounding in his chest, drowning out the sound in his ears and bringing his eyes to tears. He is lost. How did he get where he is? He has no idea what force brought him to this place. But wait he knows where to go, the next turn is right... no no no left. Breaking left he flies down the corridor. Pictures on the walls, bodies without faces, places he’s been before. Bursting through the double doors at the end of the hallway he enters an open plaza, and there she is.


This is it, this is what he was brought here for. A second chance, forcing his hand to finally make the move on… on… what was her name? What is my name? That hardly matters now, but here she is placed upon a silver platter for him to take as his liking. A noise from behind. He turns and out from whence he came, comes a familiar and distasteful face.


“I see you’ve found what you have been looking for,” says the vile looking man.

“Who are you?”

“I am your antagonist, I am the conflict that chooses where you step, I am your worst fear. I am your failure.”

“What madness are you speaking?”

“Take a look for yourself.”


Turning he notices his lost love, slipping from his grasp again. Down an alley through a busy street she turns without a glance back. Without a further look at this new profound man he is at a sprint again. Faster even than when he feared for his own life. She was more important than his life. What would be left to piece together if he let her walk out of his life again?


SLAM! Right in front of him a taxi from the street hits a light pole inches from his own body. Stopping momentarily he glances in at the driver, only to see the smiling face of his so called “antagonist.”


“Time is running out,” he says.

“Then I have no time to waste on the likes of you!”


Faster and faster he crosses the street and finally makes it to the alleyway that was his destination. He slows to a quick-walk, because it is extremely dark in the alley, even though it was mid-day behind him. Reaching about a third of the way through the alley he notices a curled figure on the floor… no two.


“This is your fault…” the man says grimly.


Tossing him aside, he takes a step toward her heaving, sobbing figure.


“Why must you cry my love? I’ve come to ask for a second… nay a first chance, that I never put forth before.”

She continues weeping for a reason unknown to him.

“Why do you weep at such a time to rejoice?! Speak to me! I’ve done my best, tried my hardest, I deserve at least a word!”


She slowly rights herself into a sitting position, looks up to him, and says, “Goodbye.”


Suddenly he is in his room in his apartment. He recalls his dream, the faces he saw, remembers who they are, remembers what they mean to him, and remembers his own identity. He lies back down, wishing he could forget.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this a few years ago, my friends back then liked it so I hope you like it too. Also I didn't have a title for it until I reread it five minutes ago.

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Underwater Trying Not To Drown

Sorrow filling my lungs

Choking on the tears

Crushing my heart

But I’ve never felt so alive

Underwater Trying Not To Drown

Cinders to ash, ash to smoke

My soul caught on the breeze

And left this empty corpse behind

Far behind and not looking back


Why can’t we go back to who we once were?


Please just don’t leave me alone

In the dark, with my dreams

Alone, forgotten, lost

Dying with a broken smile on the mask

That covers my face

With a lying mirror

Showing a picture that isn’t me

That isn’t how I feel

Laugh to yourself

All the while thinking that I’m fine


While I die inside

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Depression II


Depression II

Sadness fills my heart,
Deeper into thoughts,
People surround,
People are born,
People are married,
People are celebrating,
But I get more jealous.


Sadness clouds my mind,
Crying is on the horizon,
Depression falls deeper,
Into the hands of one.


Throat hurts,
Eyes hurt,
Heart hurts,
Emotions hurt,
Mind hurts,
I become more confused.


Birds sore through the sky,
Animals walk the earth,
Fish swim in waters,
They not worry about life,
But worry about survival.


I worry about Love,
And I.


But each time I get hurt,
Left alone.


I feel loneliness all around,
I feel depression,
I feel lost,
I feel confused,
I feel deep think,
I feel how I feel.


I know there is Hope,
Family & friends,
But I ignore these in find of shelter.


I can find help,
But I am afraid of the outcome,
I am afraid of the help,
I am afraid of it all.
I am afraid of myself,
Scared of me,
Scared of I,
Scared of my destiny,
Scared of what will be,
Scared of the end,
And scared of the beginning.

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All Hope Is Lost

All hope is lost

Gone forever and a day

There is nothing to be said now

There is nothing left to say


All hope is lost

Buried beneath a grave

All is dead and gone now

There is no one here to save


All hope is lost...

Can't Catch Up

my fucked up head

nothing makes sense anymore...

i see my life and my head just can't catch up...

too many changes too fast...

everything is passing me by,

and i sit here ... still fucken waiting for something to show up...

nothing ever comes...no one will show up...


nothing makes sense anymore...

i sit here waiting for something to show up...

my head just can't catch up

and i sit here...still fucken waiting for something to come up...


take me away...

just take me away from here...

take me to where i can find that peace...

i just can't catch up to these changes, please just show me the way...


i just can't sit here anymore...please just show me my way.


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most often a walking, 

talking agglomerate 

of bipedal constriction,

incessantly longing

of some scintilla of solitude,

lost were the days of joyous tutelage,

entombed in his most recent 

nightmarish truth,

meandering among a 

stoic and weeping world 

of isolate, but recognised faces,

detached, collapsed, mangled,

crippled and torn 

into bits and pieces of rath

left from the scourges 

of love's albatross still in situ,

every sunset, no rest, 

but amassed density 

within each slumber

and every sunrise 

the burden expounded 

on his withering reserves,

no inkling or cue of enlightenment

knocked upon the doors

of his tortured existence,

and he never meant to unleash

his fury and beat

a four year old 

recently bereft 

of a mother like that,

but somehow,

he allowed himself

to justify it.


10:11 PM 7/21/2013 ©



Author's Notes/Comments: 

the insidious nature of conditioned response.

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the sad wimpish one 


he covers his body with blood


hoping someone will notice


just how ugly he is



he wants to be noticed


for the great person he truly is


but has no time to notice


that no one notices


anything anymore



and life goes on


and he stays sad


dying to live


and crying to die



never having the balls


to ask himself why



2:39 AM 7/6/2013




Author's Notes/Comments: 

inspired by the signs of the times, and those who are having a hard time enjoying life on life's terms.