lost

LOST

My mind is gone

My brain is lapsing,

My body is weak

My spirit collapsing.

 

I am here in flesh

but absent in mind,

My inner self is crying

but what you see, is fine.

 

Lost in this puzzling world

and I lost all the pieces,

I'm scattered brain

walking in shame,

as my overloading thoughts increases.

 

What do I do

Where do I go

How do I see

How do I know

What should I say

Who should I ask...

 

One day, in time

I won't have to wear this Mask.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

January 30, 2018.

I look forward to the day, my mind sets me free of this darkness

I thought I understood him

I thought that I understood what he was going through, but we all handle it differently. I mean, I understand that he's hurting, but I only just realized that he's giving up more and more of himself every day... And I'm scared, I'm scared that one day, he'll be gone for good, and I don't know where he's going after that. He did exactly what I did... He blamed God, and I've been praying and praying for God to show himself to him, even just a glimpse, so that I won't have to see him hurting anymore... He's starting to realize how the world works... It's problems, it's judgement, it's hurt and pain... All I want is for him to be happy again, and that'll be enough for me, then I can be happy again, but until then, I'll fight off the demons with my sword and my shield, and my prayer... He would be able to pray with me in the mornings, he could actually start a fire in my soul and build my weak faith, because the Lord knows that I need the help, "Woe to you, with little faith". God knows that I'm alone right now, and that I need another candle to reignite me, because even he knows that we need to be together in two's, why else would he ask for that when he gathered the twelve and sent them two by two? But right now, he's trapped in the grave with his grandfather, and he doesn't care that there's no oxygen, he doesn't care how uncomfortable he is, and he doesn't know how much it's killing me to watch him kill himself like that, to watch the boy who is like- no, IS a brother to me, act like he's happily resting in the grave, when I know that he's chained to his grandfather by an emotional chain that is his embrace that's harder to cut than Hercules string of life and it shoots through his heart right into mine... He loves him and doesn't want to let him go, and I want him to know that me and God love them both, and we wish that he would just understand the depths of our love, that's all I ask, is that he would let go of the hurt, and embrace the light that I want to give him. If God can bring Lazarus back in perfect condition, then he can bring my friend back too... I hear God say it every time I talk to him every morning at the pole and every night before bed, "let him come to me, bring him to me, for he is weary and needs rest, and I know that you and I miss him" as he wipes the tears that I cry for him nightly off my chin and cheek when I rest at my Fathers feet.

Please, come back to us. I miss you, we all miss you... With God's love, God bless.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For that friend... Brother from before

View huntershaddix's Full Portfolio

Tell Me a Story

Tell me a story

I've never heard before

Of faraway lands

And long-distant shores

Of knights and their honor

Of sweet maidens fair

Exercise your eloquence

To transport me there

 

Tell me a story

Of love won and lost

Of heroes unwavering

No matter the cost

Sing me a lullaby

Of joy and regret

And maybe, just maybe

I'll learn to forget

View seraphim's Full Portfolio

Einen Augenblick bitte!

Kierkegaard famously once said that "Life must be understood backwards; but... it must be lived forward"


So as I continue to wander blindly forward into the unknown with the faint hope that I will understand it all in the end, I feel the need to take a sobering moment to pause and reflect on my footprints in the sand.

 

'Einen Augenblick' was all that I needed to notice that the moment of clarity I had whilst lying in rehab has all but lost its polish.


The signposts removed, my compass caught in a strong magnetic field, my coordinates intelligible.


That profound clarity I once had now lost as I once again face life blind, stumbling amongst the mess, the fuss and the chaos, on my hands and knees searching for the crumbs..



Or, of course it could just be the PTSD talking...



Author's Notes/Comments: 

After my near death experience in the form of a MVA I had, what I thought was a moment of clarity regarding my purpose in life. 

However after recently losing one of my precious fur children and support animal(s) I have spiralled downwards into a pit of grief and loss. 

Farewell Addiction

We are all addicted to something that is corroding our soul,

Sometimes we are not fully aware of what it is,

So we stare amidst into the wilderness of the unknown,

Until we gain a new perspective of the source of the addiction,

This sickness seizes your arms and pushes you to your knees,

Until you and I find an effective measure of eradicating it from reality.

 

No longer a victim, caught in its bewildering clutches,

Forever a survior, free of sweltering touches.

I am free of you, don't you see,

No need to linger and await a moment of weakness,

Eviction notice served to you addiction,

Get out of my bed because you no longer live inside my head,

I fought too long to cure this,

And it began with the choice to enlist,

 

Farewell, addicition,

Collect your pention because no longer will you be paid for your services,

I am stronger then any symptom you force me to endure,

Once tempted, no more, I sing a new song and your not in it,

I am made of titanium, you cannot break me,

The door I lead you to, now leave me be.

View acassid1's Full Portfolio

Lost

 

There once was a certain wonder,
We tried to understand,
We made attempts at knowing,
But instead we got lost.

 

Lost on our journey,
Trying to find an answer we never could,
For there is no answer,
And the search is what leads you.

 

It leads to a better time,
And better days,
To a life so great,
You forget anything was wrong.

 

We get too lost in the answer though,
And we never see the beauty in the search,
We keep trying for the non-existent answer,
And we all end up lost.

 

View kjg12's Full Portfolio
tags:

Absolute Heaven

Folder: 
Simple Thoughts

"Again, 

again, it's been so long, 

yet the feeling still runs 

deep inside. 

 

As though not a second 

separated this and the last, 

my heart racing 

my fingers fluttering. 

 

To spin a tale, 

weave a rhyme, 

picking up a rhythm 

lost to time. 

 

The reason? 

Inconsequential, 

or unimportant, 

rather. 

 

It's been so long, 

it seems, 

but currently at ease 

letting flow out 

 

what some call the soul, 

others call just words, 

or poetry. 

The goal 

 

in the end is to spark a flame, 

light up a mind 

with imagery. 

Personified, 

 

the thousand miles 

traveled, 

just to have another light 

come into my life. 

 

Again, 

the slow boil of the machine 

turning over to toil 

and burn and smoke 

 

and chug along the engine 

of mine, 

the mind 

that writes. 

 

Taking corners too fast, 

imagery still spinning 

left and right, 

picking up speed 

 

and becoming a runaway, 

such mass and inertia 

turning energy 

into nothing less than unstoppable. 

 

To write again, 

to sing, or dance, 

to do what you have done 

because it is who you are, 

 

it's every fiber of your body, 

every sliver of your soul... 

is intoxicating, 

gratifying. 

 

It's heaven, 

absolute heaven. 

 

When you're below the beloved Ocean 

of Life, 

it's waves and currents 

holding you underneath. 

 

That moment you see the surface, 

the ballet above 

of the light dancing 

and beckoning you up for air. 

 

That moment you swim up, 

the sun becoming brighter as you draw closer, 

the cold water becoming clear,

you're so near, 

 

the warmth of the top 

felt through, 

but you're not quite there yet. 

Swim! 

 

Swim harder, 

reach for the surface, 

because that exact moment 

you burst through, 

 

inhaling that open, 

sweet, succulent air 

of inspiration... 

filling lungs, body, 

 

mind and soul... 

it is 

absolute heaven; 

to be inspired again. Gorgeous."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

It is great to write again. To be taken serious again.

Nois Sesbo

Folder: 
Voodoo

The cup was half empty
before we were born
The taste mirrored sour fruit
I collected drops of uncertainty to fill it up
And yet full it never did run
I found you in a sea of faceless books
Drops of laughter filled page after page
of self-loathing
The drug you chose was the remedy
I was deprived
Deep, deep down parts of me
unwound
My darkness, dank and distorted
reached for your elusive light
My madness is infectious
you never stood a chance
We tiptoed silently, searching
for a way around the Burden Tree

A path never travelled would have

been better suited

But now I watch and I wait

you moved on with grace

The staccato rhythm of my thoughts

echo across empty walls

I wish I could split in two

But I was a plague and you were a Pachelbel fugue

Together,

rhyme with no reason

the devil's interval

a space with no shape

...love in an augmented form

But,

the cup was full

the fruit was sweet

And as always...

My madness stained the blue to red

I only know how to create destruction in my Path

I thank the darkness for the distance

and only hope that you find happiness

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

In the event it's not obvious- the title is a play on the word, "obsession." 

The Wind is Never Too Late

Folder: 
Wayward Motions

The Wind is never too late
Minutes and hours may pool into an endless shadow clock
but She cares not for the tick tock tick tock
She has been cast into many worlds
With no hope to ever unfurl

Ravaged with unrest
We seek Her company but know not what is best
For Her

She curls Her arms in a lover's embrace
We reach out in hope
We leave with despair

To Her
we are a ghost of live's past
we are a measure of time She cannot understand
we become dust in Her shapeless lands

And yet... the Wind is never too late
She casts Her endless touch
Hoping        needing        yearning

She is here
She is now
She is always
(The past cannot present itself
when the future was never there)

Sadness beckons, widens, and burdens
And like a loose cannon
we shoot out into the distance
reaching out for anything

To hold
To conquer
To master
To love

But, The Wind... She knows
She is never too late
She catches our follies when we become one with the daisies
She carries our songs which blankets those worlds
She chronicles our stories and heralds them across endless sands

The Wind is here
The Wind is now
The Wind is always

For us
For Her

Author's Notes/Comments: 

After returning from a trip to the mountains I am finding myself in unrest. I miss the wind across my face. I miss the serenity of the forests. I miss many things and yet I aim to adjust the sails of reality and move forward. Hopefully, soon.