death

6. Monologue of a Unmoored Mariner

Foggy landscape with fading path illustrating disorientation in Monologue of Unmoored Mariner poem.

Each path forward fades into uncertainty, much like the mariner adrift on identity’s ocean.

Placeholder image by Midjourney v6

 


Monologue of a Unmoored Mariner

  

 

"I am a part of all that I have met;

Yet all experience is an arch wherethro’

Gleams that untravell'd world whose margin fades

For ever and forever when I move."

 – Alfred, Lord Tennyson

 

 

 

Adrift in Identity's Ocean

 

I drift on seas of self, a sailor lost,

Tossed on the tides of an identity.

No map, no chart, no sextant, star-embossed,

Can navigate this vast uncertainty.

I am a ship becalmed in my own mind,

A compass needle spinning, unaligned.

 

 

 

The Maelstrom of the World

 

The world's a whirlpool, hungry and immense,

It drags me down, indifferent to my throes.

I spin and spiral, seething and incensed,

As riptides rip, as ruthless currents close.

Like flotsam, I am flung and flailed and hurled,

In the maelstrom of this maddening world.

 

 

 

Echoes Across the Void

 

I send my signals to the careless skies,

I send my semaphores, my flags unfurled.

I send my ciphered screams, my muted cries,

I send my pleas into the salty swirl.

But all dissolve, like foam upon the waves,

Absorbed into the ocean's open graves.

 

 

 

The Weight of Proof

 

A cargo of corroboration rests

Within my hold, a leaden, lading weight.

Stacked file on file, attested truths compressed,

They ballast me against the howling hate.

But barnacles of doubt encrust the hull,

And apathy's an anchor, dragging, dull. 

 

 

 

The Sirens of Despair

 

The sirens sing their songs of swirling black,

Of crushing depths, of comfort in the cold.

They croon of still eternities that slack

The bindings of this world, so worn and old.

To yield, to sink, to slip beneath the foam-

Seems sweet against the harshness of my roam.

 

 

 

The Narrowing of Horizons

 

The ports of hope recede beyond my ken,

The beacons dwindle, guttering and weak.

No lighthouse sweeps its salvatory pen

Across the darkling deeps I cannot speak.

Each way is waves, each wake a weary froth,

A voyage void, a dead-reckoning lost.

 

 

 

The Plummet and the Plume

 

And so, I sound the fathoms of my fate,

I plumb the depths, I cast the weighted line.

To sink seems sweet, to cease the cruel wait,

To be the lead and not the burdened twine.

A swift descent, a fall into the free-

Seems kinder than this crawl through apathy.

 

 

 

Surrender to the Sublime

 

The vastness whispers velvet, voids me on,

Its emptiness an absolution blest.

In yielding to its yawn, its siren song,

I find, at last, the solace of the rest.

To be subsumed, consumed, and so redeemed,

Seems sacred to this sailor lost and seamed.

 

 

 

Peace in the Profundity

 

So let me sink into this softer sea,

This womb of nothingness, this calm embrace.

In drowning, let me drink eternity,

In losing self, let me at last find grace.

For in the crushing depths, there is a balm,

An absolution in oblivion's psalm.




Author's Notes/Comments: 

 

Drawing on classical metaphor and a Tennyson epigraph, this piece casts the self as a lost sailor. It offers a more formal, yet deeply personal, meditation on identity, existential drift, and the siren call of surrender in a vast, uncaring world.

View cynosure's Full Portfolio

4. Absolution in Ink -rewrite

Empty hallway with shadows representing themes of absence and haunting in Absolution in Ink poem.

In the empty spaces between footfalls, we find the echoes of our departing selves.

Placeholder image made in Midjourney v5.2

 

 

 

 

Absolution in Ink -rewrite

 

 

I haunt these halls-

a shadow stitched to linoleum,

a footfall in the hush

before the bell.

Each step is a gauntlet,

each breath a blade

against the throat of morning.

 

 

 

I write in the dark,

a final flare,

a phosphor script

on the bones of night.

To you-

students, seekers,

I leave a map:

let knowledge

be your lantern,

let truth be your teeth.

 

 

 

To you-

creatures curled

in the crook of my arm,

I leave the rhythm

of my hands,

the scent of my sleeve,

the promise of a bowl,

a window cracked for sun.

 

 

 

I have walked

the splintered roads,

worn my shoes

to the quick.

The streets wait-

mouths open,

hungry for the softest thing.

I cannot feed you

to that hunger.

 

 

 

So I script my exit,

one last rebellion

against the cold machinery

of indifference.

If death is mercy,

let it be a rest.

 

 

 

Yet even as I fade,

I see you-

in rooms of laughter,

in arms that do not tremble.

Let this vision

be the balm

that steadies my hand.

 

 

 

Let these words

be my last decree:

in every line,

a piece of me breaks free,

to hover, to guide,

to light your way

when all else fails.

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

 

 

Continuing the journey into a more fragmented style, this poem paints a stark picture of a spirit haunting the remnants of a life. It scripts a final, defiant act against indifference while seeking to protect the vulnerable souls left in its care.

View cynosure's Full Portfolio

Echoes of Deception, Threads of Hope

Folder: 
Poems

 Echoes of Deception, Threads of Hope

 

 

In shadows of fear, a whisper takes hold,

A sinister seed, a conspiracy untold.

Whispers of a virus, man-made and vile,

Profit the motive, trust exiled.

 

 

Amidst echoes of doubt and deceit's dark dance,

A personal battle, a silent stance.

Isolation's sting, stigma's crushing weight,

The heaviness of uncertainty's relentless gait.

 

 

Michel Simonin's struggle, a fight to be heard,

Against AIDS' cruel stigma, his voice undeterred.

In letters and television, his story unfurled,

Defying the silence, refusing to be deterred.

 

 

Through tears of resilience, a choice bravely made,

To shatter the silence, to not be swayed.

Unveiling the humanity behind the disease,

Reclaiming identity, refusing to appease.

 

 

Yet in depths of sorrow's unending night,

Science illuminates, a beacon of light.

WGS and NGS unravel the viral code,

Evolution's truth, HIV's primal abode.

 

 

In sequencing's intricate art, a tale unfolds,

Of chimpanzee origins, zoonotic thresholds. Palindromes dance in the RNA's sway,

Nature's complex beauty, now on display.

 

 

Yet echoes of deception still linger and spread,

Shattering lives, filling hearts with dread.

The vulnerable bear the heaviest toll,

In fabrication's web, their innocence stole.

 

 

In this intimate war, we must take a stand,

Embracing our scars, extending a hand.

Empathy our salve, compassion our guide,

In unity and truth, our spirits reside.

 

 

From pain's crucible, we'll rise transformed,

Scars into strength, wisdom reborn.

In the symphony of survival, harmony will reign,

As we honour the journey, through sun and rain.

 

 

With science as our compass, truth as our light,

We'll navigate the landscapes of the heart's might.

Reclaiming our stories, our voices bold,

In courage and resilience, our lives we'll mould.

 

 

In the tapestry of existence, we'll find our place,

Stitching together healing, with tender grace.

Each breath a rebellion, each moment a choice,

To survive and thrive, with authentic voice.

 

 

In the echoes of resilience, hope whispers anew,

Threads of connection, strength to see us through. 

Through shadows and light, we'll weave our way,

Embracing our truth, come what may.

 

 

In the alchemy of survival, transformation blooms, 

Vulnerability becomes armour, silence finds its tune.

From shattered fragments, a mosaic we'll raise,

A testament to the unbreakable human spirit's blaze.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

 Although already mentioned in bio, I am a scientist, a microbiologist (traditional and current bioinformatics whole genome sequencing variety). I also admit I received payment from Zoetis, a pharmacy company, which equated to AUS 30c/hour. 

 

World AIDS Day on December 1st is a time for reflection, remembrance, and raising awareness about the ongoing fight against HIV/AIDS. I had hoped to share this poem in time for the occasion, but the weight of the topic and the desire to do it justice meant I simply ran out of time, spoons, and headspace to complete it. I had resigned myself to waiting until next year to perfect the piece.

 

 

However, a recent comment I encountered gave me pause. It related to the pernicious conspiracy theory that HIV is a man-made virus, a falsehood popularised by "cultropreneurials" and denialists whose views are often rooted in classism, racism, sexism, homophobia, and other forms of prejudice. 

 

This dangerous misinformation continues to spread, causing actual harm to individuals and communities affected by HIV/AIDS.

 

 

In light of this, I felt compelled to share the poem now, even in its imperfect state, as a small act of resistance against the echoes of deception that still reverberate. 

 

 

The poem "Echoes of Deception, Threads of Hope" attempts to grapple with the complex history and ongoing reality of the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

 

It begins by acknowledging the whispers of conspiracy, the sinister seeds of doubt sown by those profiting from fear and mistrust. 

 

The poem then delves into the personal battles fought by those living with HIV/AIDS and the crushing weight of stigma, isolation, and uncertainty they face.

 

 

The story of Michel Simonin, a French activist who fought tirelessly to break the silence around AIDS in the 1980s, is a thread of resilience woven throughout the poem. His courage in the face of cruel stigma and his refusal to be silenced are a testament to the unbreakable human spirit.

 

 

As the poem unfolds, it turns to the illuminating power of science, unravelling the viral code through advanced sequencing techniques like WGS and NGS. The beauty and complexity of evolution are juxtaposed against the echoes of deception that continue to shatter lives.

 

 

The poem is a call to action, an invitation to stand together in this intimate war, armed with empathy, compassion, and truth. It speaks to the transformative power of resilience, the alchemy of turning scars into strength, pain into wisdom.

 

 

Ultimately, "Echoes of Deception, Threads of Hope" is a tribute to the tapestry of human existence, the threads of connection that bind us together in the face of unimaginable challenges. It is a reminder that each breath, each moment, is a choice - to survive, to thrive, to raise our voices in an authentic chorus of hope.

 

 

As we navigate the complex landscape of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, may we hold fast to the compass of science, the light of truth, and the power of our shared humanity. Let this poem be a small thread in the larger tapestry of our ongoing struggle, a testament to the unbreakable spirit that resides within us all.

Echoes of Deception, Threads of Hope

Folder: 
Poems

 Echoes of Deception, Threads of Hope

 

 

In shadows of fear, a whisper takes hold,

A sinister seed, a conspiracy untold.

Whispers of a virus, man-made and vile,

Profit the motive, trust exiled.

 

 

Amidst echoes of doubt and deceit's dark dance,

A personal battle, a silent stance.

Isolation's sting, stigma's crushing weight,

The heaviness of uncertainty's relentless gait.

 

 

Michel Simonin's struggle, a fight to be heard,

Against AIDS' cruel stigma, his voice undeterred.

In letters and television, his story unfurled,

Defying the silence, refusing to be deterred.

 

 

Through tears of resilience, a choice bravely made,

To shatter the silence, to not be swayed.

Unveiling the humanity behind the disease,

Reclaiming identity, refusing to appease.

 

 

Yet in depths of sorrow's unending night,

Science illuminates, a beacon of light.

WGS and NGS unravel the viral code,

Evolution's truth, HIV's primal abode.

 

 

In sequencing's intricate art, a tale unfolds,

Of chimpanzee origins, zoonotic thresholds.
Palindromes dance in the RNA's sway,

Nature's complex beauty, now on display.

 

 

Yet echoes of deception still linger and spread,

Shattering lives, filling hearts with dread.

The vulnerable bear the heaviest toll,

In fabrication's web, their innocence stole.

 

 

In this intimate war, we must take a stand,

Embracing our scars, extending a hand.

Empathy our salve, compassion our guide,

In unity and truth, our spirits reside.

 

 

From pain's crucible, we'll rise transformed,

Scars into strength, wisdom reborn.

In the symphony of survival, harmony will reign,

As we honour the journey, through sun and rain.

 

 

With science as our compass, truth as our light,

We'll navigate the landscapes of the heart's might.

Reclaiming our stories, our voices bold,

In courage and resilience, our lives we'll mould.

 

 

In the tapestry of existence, we'll find our place,

Stitching together healing, with tender grace.

Each breath a rebellion, each moment a choice,

To survive and thrive, with authentic voice.

 

 

In the echoes of resilience, hope whispers anew,

Threads of connection, strength to see us through. 

Through shadows and light, we'll weave our way,

Embracing our truth, come what may.

 

 

In the alchemy of survival, transformation blooms, 

Vulnerability becomes armour, silence finds its tune.

From shattered fragments, a mosaic we'll raise,

A testament to the unbreakable human spirit's blaze.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

 Although my bio mentions that I am a scientist and a microbiologist (of the traditional and current bioinformatics whole genome sequencing variety), I also admit I received payment from Zoetis, a pharmacy company, for AUS 30c/hour. 

 

World AIDS  Day on December 1st is a time for reflection, remembrance, and awareness raising about the ongoing fight against HIV/AIDS. I had hoped to share this poem in time for the occasion, but the weight of the topic and the desire to do it justice meant I ran out of time, spoons, and headspace to complete it. I had resigned myself to waiting until next year to perfect the piece.

 

 

However, a recent comment I encountered gave me pause. It related to the pernicious conspiracy theory that HIV is a man-made virus, a falsehood popularised by "cultropreneurials" and denialists whose views are often rooted in classism, racism, sexism, homophobia, and other forms of prejudice. 

 

This dangerous misinformation continues to spread, causing actual harm to individuals and communities affected by HIV/AIDS.

 

 

In light of this, I felt compelled to share the poem now, even in its imperfect state, as a small act of resistance against the echoes of deception that still reverberate. 

 

 

The poem "Echoes of Deception, Threads of Hope" attempts to grapple with the complex history and ongoing reality of the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

 

It begins by acknowledging the whispers of conspiracy, the sinister seeds of doubt sown by those profiting from fear and mistrust. 

 

The poem then delves into the personal battles fought by those living with HIV/AIDS and the crushing weight of stigma, isolation, and uncertainty they face.

 

 

The story of Michel Simonin, a French activist who tirelessly fought to break the silence around AIDS in the 1980s, is a thread of resilience woven throughout the poem. His courage in the face of cruel stigma and his refusal to be silenced are testaments to the unbreakable human spirit.

 

 

As the poem unfolds, it turns to the illuminating power of science, unravelling the viral code through advanced sequencing techniques like WGS and NGS. The beauty and complexity of evolution are juxtaposed against the echoes of deception that continue to shatter lives.

 

 

The poem is a call to action, an invitation to stand together in this intimate war, armed with empathy, compassion, and truth. It speaks to the transformative power of resilience, the alchemy of turning scars into strength, pain into wisdom.

 

 

Ultimately, "Echoes of Deception, Threads of Hope" is a tribute to the tapestry of human existence, the threads of connection that bind us together in the face of unimaginable challenges. It reminds us that each breath, each moment, is a choice—to survive, to thrive, to raise our voices in an authentic chorus of hope.

 

 

As we navigate the complex landscape of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, may we hold fast to the compass of science, the light of truth, and the power of our shared humanity. Let this poem be a small thread in the larger tapestry of our ongoing struggle, a testament to the unbreakable spirit that resides within us all.

View cynosure's Full Portfolio

Discordant Symphony




Discordant Note

Scratching, floating

Hanging in the air

 

 

Pressure ebbs and flows 

Headpiece filled with straw

 

 

A twisted melody lingers

Confusion and rage entwined 

Resentment's bitter sting

Wrestles with sorrow's whine

 

 

Innocence stolen, trust shattered

By hands meant to protect

 

 

The child within still bleeds

Silently searching, begging for respect 

 

 

Justice denied, our secrets buried

Master manipulator 

A monster cloaked in lies

 

 

Crimes still hidden 

Despite Death's hand

Too late for tortured cries

 

 

Feet of clay now returned to dust

From whence they darkly came

Leaving behind a tangled mess

Of trauma, grief and shame 

 

 

The urge to desecrate, destroy

Wage war upon their grave

Wrestling with guilt, pity and relief 

Yes, he is no more

But I am not yet saved

 

 

This victory feels hollow 

An unearned, empty gift

When wounds still pulse and throb

No closure, the burdens unshift 

 

 

 

I imagine looking for the tombstone,

Fists and soul clenched tight,

Anger, disgust, and rage.

 

 

Shadows cast doubt over my morals,

Compass dysfunctional, truth estranged.

Like Basque tongues tangled with Ainu clicks,

A labyrinth of questions ethics inflicts.

 

 

No tears of mourning shed

No idea the monster was laid to rest

Three years later, a happy accident

Release a demon locked deep in my chest

 

 

How to reconcile the little child

Who needed love and care

With the person now made to carry

This discordant note hanging in the air

 

 

In the depths of this discordance 

Frustration and confusion still rise

Dare I confront the shadows

Curse their peaceful demise?

 

 

Every anguished scream swallowed 

Each day, coerced, suffocated in silence

Transmuting years of buried aches

Why not release in rightful fierce violence?

 

 

Through serpentine paths of healing

Piece by shattered piece remade,

Scars shimmering with untold stories 

Of battles braved and traumas mourned

 

 

In owning all that was endured

By innocent hands and shattered trust

Languidly learning to cradle, soothe

My inner child waiting, weeping in the dust

 

 

Each breath is an act of bravery

Every step is defiant, resolute 

Reclaiming fractured narratives

No longer voiceless or mute

Through my poetry, I find release

May its rhythm grant me peace.

 

 

This journey from victim to victor

Is paved with shards of broken self

Reassembled by courageous hands

Into mosaics of pain and health 

 

 

A symphony of survival

Echoes in the spaces in between

I cannot rewrite my cruel history 

I yearn like others to live and dream

 

 

Beyond the reach of phantom hands

That sought to break and steal and mar

I rise in revolutionary softness

Tempered by battles, reminded by scars

 

 

The discordant note, a stubborn seed, 

Resists the soil, its tyranny decreed, 

Yet woven slow, within the larger frame, 

An ostinato may conquer its shame, 

Finds solace in the weave, a timeless plea, 

Echoing Eliot, Stravinsky rewrites history. 



Author's Notes/Comments: 

I found out this morning (yesterday now), some 13–14 odd hours ago – whilst mindlessly googling, that a person who manipulated and molested me as a child had passed away (almost three years ago).

 

The obituary stated that they died “Peacefully” whilst being cared for by [redacted]. The conflicting emotions are intense – that they can still torture from the grave – exhausting.

 

While dealing with this flood of emotion and wrestling with my conscience, I came across a poem fragment on my phone that I started to write a few years back. The result of what it has morphed into can be found below.

 

I know this poem is far from complete, but I needed to get it out therapeutically. So, if you wish to comment, you are welcome to critique - however, strictly with empathy and compassion. 

Silent Night, Shattered Sight (Neurodivergent Nightmare)

 

 

Amidst the onslaught of festive frenzy,
Neurodivergent minds reel a tempest here to sear.
Senses assaulted, relentlessly vexed,
Christmas chaos leaves us perplexed.


Masking's breaking, taking weight, a suffocating shroud,
Authenticity lost in the neurotypical crowd.
ADHD autism's ache, an adult's disgrace,
So, invisible struggles are present in this merry place.


Pain's persistent, pounding refrain, an endless score,
Fibromyalgia's claws, forever tore.
Spine curved like a question mark,
Vertigo's dance, a dizzying arc.


Poverty's clutch cuts deep, leave plans in disarray,
Opportunities vanish, like mist in the day.
Isolation, depression, chronic cursed alone,
In a world where bonds stretch, then are gone.


Trauma mars, leaves scars, rape's brutal seal,
cPTSD's tortures - terrors forever real.
Triggers flashbacks, a minefield within,
Clock tick-tocks, the night's wearing thin.


Passivity creeps in just like a mischievous elf,
A sinister spirit keeps us captive, steals our self.
Painfully forcing out a cry, on deaf ears they fall,
"You knew they wouldn't", it sneers, "more unanswered calls".


In despair's abyss, hope's flicker dies,
As the world rejoices, behind a joyful disguise.
Countless unseen battles and unheard cries,
Anguish, desperation, pain, do naked eyes lie?


To those who feign concern, a warning rings clear,
Your platitudes and neglect, a deafening sneer.
For in the depths of despair, a reckoning brews,
When the desperate depart, with nothing to lose.


In the sombre, silent night, when alienation reigns,
The psyche buckles, under the weight of its chains.
Remember, you who turned a blind eye,
The blood on your hands as the outcast dies.


So let the silence shatter, let the truth be known,
For the neglected and broken, forever alone.
May their memory haunt, may their absence resound,
A damning indictment, of the help never found.


Silently in the night, isolation's doom looms,
For those left to rot, in desolation's tombs.
A scourge on false kindness, on empathy's dearth,
As the forgotten depart, from this merciless Earth.


A warning to those who still pretend to care,
Of the anguish hidden, behind festive despair's lair.
Family friends forsaken in desolation's night,
Cast aside, ignored as time ticks on, year's plight.


In the silent night, a dirge ascends,
For those struggling, lost at the year's end.
Society's apathy, an unpalatable bitter pill,
Washed down with tears, we fade away against our will.


Let the silence break; let the truth be told,
Of the torment endured, the agony untold.
In summer's sweat, a reckoning should rise,
Power imbalances now, no escape our fate's demise.


May our ghosts haunt the whole season bright,
Reminding us of those for whom this time's a blight.
In the season's glare, coalescing shadows reign,
Numerous reasons, curses feeding this pain.


A moment of stillness, amidst the hurricane,
A flicker of self, in the endless pain.
Battered and bruised, yet still we stand,
In defiance of a world, that refuses to understand.


Whilst it is true, many times I have tried,
But for my animals, it is on me that they rely.
As night follows day and day follows night,
Dark forces frantically fighting, stealing my fight.


Hope's a medicine, both a curse and a sure cure,
Healing if repeatedly given - the source pure.
Decidedly dangerous, deadly, dangled as a prize,
Breaking faith's wraith, soon you and society they'll despise.


A pox on ableism, on empathy's lack,
As we vanish slowly, our lives off-track.
In the silent night, our requiem it plays,
The forgotten ones, left on birthdays and holidays.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Like all entries in this anthology - this is raw, unflinching (oddly still with residual masking) and has the potential to offend or upset - this is my truth. So take this as another CW. 

DNR


Christmas Day Again


Silence. No calls or message


Suicide Beckons




Author's Notes/Comments: 

It's personal - no welfare check is needed. I've lived with ideation for almost 50 years. The poem following will provide some more detail.

View cynosure's Full Portfolio

So Far Away

Folder: 
New Lyrics

 

 

It's been so long since I've seen your face

It's been too long since our last embrace

I only wish I could be there now that you are facing your final days

 

But you're so far away

And I've been drowning each day

Even though I know in the end it will be ok

We're just so far away

 

I'll never get the chance to tell you

Just how much I'm going to miss you

And I'll cherish all the memories that you gave me during my youth

 

Now I'm so far away

And you've been fading each day

Even though you know it's the end and it's ok 

We're just so far away

 

But it will be ok 

And I just want to say

Thank you for putting a smile on my face

 

We're just so far away 

And you've been fading each day

Even though you know it's the end and it's ok

We're just so far away

But we'll meet again someday

And although we know the end is near it's ok

We're not so far away

Not so far away

anymore

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one is for my grandma who just passed away. 10/17/24

Life's Guarantee

Folder: 
New Lyrics

 

 

We're fed lies all of our lives

From the cradle to the grave

When we die we get a prize

Becoming numb to this game

 

I'm starting to realize

There is no afterlife 

Once we step into the light 

That is our final flight

 

Empty clouds and endless skies

Eternal blackness of space

Burned to ashes and said goodbyes

Pile of bones is all that remains

 

We're blinded by all the lights

From the darkness on its way

We can't see the warning signs

Ill-prepared for judgement day

 

I'm starting to realize

There is no afterlife

Once we step into the light

That is our final flight

 

Empty clouds and endless skies

Eternal blackness of space

Burned to ashes and said goodbyes 

Pile of bones is all that remains

 

Once we step into the light

That's when we will say goodnight

 

Empty clouds and endless skies

Eternal blackness of space

Burned to ashes and said goodbyes 

Pile of bones is all that remains

 

The only thing in life that's guaranteed is death

Author's Notes/Comments: 

10/10/24

My latest creative work. I tried to tackle the subject of the afterlife on this one. hopefully this will get some good feedback. 

View uninvited_1's Full Portfolio