joy

Life

Life

 

Life, what are you?

Why are we here with you?

You are a gift we are given.

You are a curse into the heart of our being.

 

Pain, why do you give us this pain?

Why the pain into the center of our soul?

The life we have is full of this pain.

Why do we have to live this life with this pain?

 

Joy, why do you only give us so little of this joy?

Why is the joy so short, but so sweet?

How to we balance the joy to the pain?

Why does the joy fade so quickly?

 

Balance, the thing we seek most of all.

Why is it so hard to balance the pain to the joy?

Is it because the joy is so much greater, and we feel its loss so much more?

Is it because we can not know the joy without the pain?

 

Death, the end of it all?

There are times when it seems that Death is the only way to end the pain?

Alas if we take Death, then we also have no more joy in this life.

Yet with Death there is no more pain.

Death, I know you, and I hate you and I love you.

 

I am but a lost soul.

I came into this world, this life with nothing.

I will leave the world, this life with nothing.

Is that why this life is a balance between Pain, Joy, Life, and Death?

 

Is there a purpose to all of this?

Why are we here?

Why is there life?

Why is there Death?

Why is there Joy?

Why is there Pain?

 

These are the questions of this life.

We do not get the answers within it.

We live this life to try to find these answers.

Maybe when we find them, is when we are done?

I am not ready to be done.

Are you ready to know?

Are you ready to be done?

 

B. Thompson

May 2013

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I have been lost for awhile.  My family lost someone today.  I am doing well with it, but I needed to share.

 

I am an EMT and a firefighter.  I have spent my whole adult life trying to help others.  To stop pain and Death and to save life and joy.

 

I have been there for too many deaths.  I have seen too much pain.  It is a burden on my soul and a weight on my heart.

 

I try to sink the pain deep inside of me, but it has power and time and can find a crack to come out again and again.

 

I do not know how to stop it from pushing out from the inside. Maybe if I push it to the outside it will have more trouble coming back in.

 

Maybe

 

-bt

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Excavation

Earth, sky, universe, why?
God, spirit, under lies.

 

Words cried out in such defense,
Like theives, replace our innocence.

 

Ocean, mountains, beautiful tree,
Why is it there's no harmony?

 

Wars, symbols, meanings astray,
I wish all except unity would just go away.

 

Learn to find the silent inner space,
And experience what you have been calling 'grace'.

 

6:07 PM 5/1/2013

Author's Notes/Comments: 

the silent world within.

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Missing Passenger

Vows taken on a crisp Saturday afternoon in September,
You wore a velveteen black suit, and me and my cream colored lace,
We swirled through the park like doves in flight,
Everything was oh...so right!

 

That first year, you held me in the rocking chair your mother gave us,
No arms had ever given me such peace and comfort,
Your gentle kisses to my neck and ears,
Three long blissful and beautiful years before our first born.

 

Then the security of all we could have asked for,
The nights of laughter and after dinner rides to the custard stand,
You in your jovial disposition and me with my coy school-like charm,
And then home, to snuggle together on the couch.

 

The tenth year was busier after our daughter was born,
I could not have chosen a better father for our children,
But the rocking chair needed some repair,
I missed our snuggles we used to share in the days of old.

 

You always made a point of reminding me about how you loved those days,
I'd kid you about your extra pounds ruining the dowels under the seat,
But in our own way, the memory savored, lasted into our 25th anniversary,
Still, every few months I would beg you to fix it.

 

Now that the children are grown and come to visit,
I sometimes tell them how you used to hold me in that rocker,
They smile with the same tenderness back at me,
And I see your twenty year old charm in their eyes again.

 

One day, a few months after the funeral,
I took a seat alone in the chair when I came home,
Rickety now, the wood is dried and brittle,
I hardly can imagine those days were real.

 

The days are getting longer, it seems, and many times I wonder
Where you are, maybe sitting on a crescent moon, gazing at the stars,
I have gained so many beautiful memories from the life we shared,
And I still wish you'd fix this rocking chair.

 

 

 

10:19 PM 4/28/2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

About solid marriages.

 

I have to be more careful copying and pasting...at first I only got half of the poem!

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HOME AWAY FROM HOME

 
Blood they say is thicker than water
Anytime I'm home with my mother
brothers and sisters
I feel like being with them forever
Their presence radiates joy and laughter
But this bond is more than that of blood
It's of blood binded with faith
Now I have to leave, it is a must
Though my body somehow resist
I feel no remorse leaving this apartment
I have a mission to fulfil, In sha Allah I will

There is another bond drawing me
of lovely brothers and sisters in faith
That makes me feel comfort
Even though I'm far away from home
They are all my family; they loves me
I'm glad I've them all around me
A home it is a away from home

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Mystic Law

 

A new day begins and I wonder,

Will this heartache be part of my life?

Seems the whole reason that I existed,

Was in hopes of becoming your wife.

At the day’s end it’s so awful lonely,

As I turn the sheets down on my bed,

Cause your love is felt here with each heartbeat,

And your memory left here in my head.

In this midst of confusion I’m frightened,

With the rug pulled out under my feet,

And the challenges that stand before me,

I pray God grants me courage to meet.

And I’ll hold this love close as I can now,

‘Cause I know it will help me be strong,

At those times when it feels no one loves me, 

I’ll remember the time I was wrong,

I’m still learning that Love’s got to teach us, 

The things that we don’t want to see,

That one’s presence is not what’s important, 

How they "cared" is what’s really the key,

To a world with a whole new beginning; 

‘Cause the Spirit of Love will endure,

Any hardship that we can imagine,

All the arguments, carnage, and more,

So when this world leaves your heart empty,

But sweet memories abide in your head,

And you’re torn between headstrong and heartfelt,

And remember all  that I’ve  said,

That the Spirit of Love lies within you;

It’s the substance of everything here,

It’s the smile you gave when I met you,

It’s the frown and the smirk….it’s the tear….

And our loves and our joys, yes, are wondrous,

But the real thing we’re meant to achieve,

Is to love one another with freedom,

Not possessiveness, envy, or greed.

If we learn this we’ll grow as we should here, 

And plant seeds in each daughter and son,

The Great Spirit of Love will live on here,

And the reason for Life…will have won.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was written with great empathy shortly after 911, for the surviving wives and wives-to-be of that disaster.

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Red Pill

 

The dawn of a night,

An eclipse of the sun.

Giant spectacles of power,

Here, where life has begun.

 

There's a hum to the world,

You can only feel in your heart.

An understanding and knowledge,

That will set you apart.

 

A drive to fulfill,

To learn all you can.

The mysterious, the unexplained,

Secrets hidden by man.

 

Like ashes of cloud burst,

Falling thick in your hands,

Lies the power of all heaven,

Made manifest in this land.

 

As night slowly lifts

The crow, on the hour

Comes the tempest, the winds,

Held tight by your power.

To unleash the unknown,

To set fevers a fire;

A revolution has come,

Our world, much too dire.

 

This calling resounds,

To those with the will

To come out of the shadows,

To take that Red Pill.

 

Like a beacon of light,

Drowned in a tempest's wild holler,

It seems almost hopeless,

Why should we bother?

 

I don't know about you,

But for myself, I'll agree

Sometimes it's easier,

To pretend you don't see.

 

But eyes be blind,

While ears don't hear.

Heart's can't lie,

And the mind breeds fear. 

 

I hold out my hands,

I put the call out.

Will I hear a reply?

I know without doubt.

 

 

 

 

Gone

Folder: 
My Love

Gone today

Was here before

What was my joy

Walked out the door

All that I lived

Now is gone

All is lost

What once was won

 

Nothing left

There’s nothing more

All my dreams

Crashed on the floor

My hopes are shattered

My vision’s battered

Forsaken, bereft

There’s nothing left

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The Call

I call in the muses & the music

I call in the magic, its form in its purest

I call in the Angels & the Saints

I call out to Heavens' Pearly Gates

 

I hear you calling from far away

Sending me dreams thought forgotten, of yesterday

I call in the joy, I remember the pain

And suddenly I would give anything, to relive it again.

Woe begotten, still forgotten,

these precious dreams of yesterday

I feel you calling, a tug on my skin

I look in the mirror and see something within

A sparkle, a light, that gives a quick fright

Then sudden and spoken, the spell still unbroken

I see you within, calling my name.

You smile and you grin, you're always the same.

 

"Look UP

Look Over

Change Your Point of V

                                   I

                                            e

                                                   w"

So thinking a thought, I hadn't thought before,

I felt a rush & a wind, and it opened a door.

A door filled with light, hope, sound and song

I knew in my heart, this was the place I belonged.

 

This was my moment, my final test.

I closed my eyes tight and took a deep breath.

Thinking my thought, I had never thought before

I held it before me, as I walked through the door.

Here I am now, in this place of calm and of light,

Wondering why it took so long, to finally get it right.

 

Throwing worry aside, and bitterness to the winds,

Fate guides my hand now,

                                    as new life

                                                    begins.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Well, it's been really hard trying to get out anything that makes any sense! lol, so in the end I had to try and concentrate on one feeling, and this is what came out :) It was kind of fun though... i kept hearing it like a song in my head, and it was a little distracting, lol. Thank you everyone, for all your wonderful love and support!!

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my ode entitled attitude of grattitude

Folder: 
spirituality

Attitude of Gratitude

 

I look around at western society
And the existence of quality
We are tricked into thinking
By on purpose disconnecting
From the real spirit inside
When connected, feels so alive

 

Check the kids out on the cover
(picture of poor kids in Laos)
So happy and so is his brother
Even though they have no toys
Or shoes, live life with joy
Have every reason to complain
On face value loads of suffering

 

But when you look closely at
Their lives, examine the facts
They have it better than us
In so very many directions
Deep down they know it too
Cos their soul is smiling on you

 

They live in amazing country
With all mother natures beauty
No pollution hits their lungs
Their life only just begun
No toxins in their food too
They lead a cleaner life than you

 

They got no toys, no bike too
But I’m betting fitter than you
They don't have chairs as well
Squatting for hours, not hell
And walking for an hour to school
Fitter than your kids too

 

That’s not hard, welded to a pc
Or a computer game probably
Sat on a comfy seat for hours
With no fresh air in their lungs
These kids dont have electricity
Don’t need it either; or a TV

 

Our DNA only regenerates when
It’s in a state of bliss: Heaven
When your vibrating at high frequency
This insulates you definitely
But about your DNA: No way
Regenerates unless bliss in your day

 

The kids in Laos life is simple
And to them, western life so mental
Though some in the east look west
Our quality of life to behest
If they realised they had it so good
They wouldn't look to our hood

 

And people in the west may think
Such a simple life does stink
Where’s your wide screen TV?
Everything else run on electricity
Everything designed to steal your energy
Much healthier life in the country

 

Thank your god for small mercies
That you have all that you need
Be grateful for what you got
And if your miserable please stop
The kids in the picture, every reason
To me miserable in all seasons

 

But the smiles say it all, free too
Wonder what one will look like on you
go on, try a smile right now
And to sadness please don’t cow tow
Be grateful, and also get humble
And about your life please don’t grumble

 

If you do I have no sympathy
Unless its cancer or ill terminally
Or your kin’s died for no reason
Then to be sad, it’s the season
Be happy quick they do not die
Waiting to see you in the next life

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