shame

Redemption and regret

Can I be a better man today than I was yesterday?

This pile of mistakes around me makes me pray

Pray I that ill have the courage to face my reflection

And I’ll be able to raise my head to plot a new direction

Infections in my soul and in the relationships that I love

Have me shaking my head no and looking for answers above

Shove the shame into the trash is all I can do

Keep my focus on my task and not on losing you.

True words and better actions are my only consolation

Taking ever day as it comes and forgetting about my reputation

Sedation and neglect are the true adversaries to my progress

I can’t forget my goal less I regress

Mess it may be but this is still my life

I still yearn to succeed, maybe have some children and a wife

Strife and grief may be in store but it will worth it in the end

When I can say to my loving family and all my fabulous friends

Pretend if you wish, that this was always meant to be

I know that in order to get this, I had to beat my greatest enemy, me.

 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

 

 
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Fatally Accepted

Folder: 
The Rest

It vacillates, that pride in self
Spins from more than enough to apparently nothing at all.
Professionally and in portions of private
Bound up by the varnish of confidence
Then in corners of lonely and doubtful
You see the surrender of self
The brief look at things to improve
Then the slow easy slide into what’s the point
People know and care and support
Expect nothing more than what it is
Excuse temporary self-centric aberrations
Excuse self harm in the form of indulgence
God what a sick making irony
Close to all that you can mentally be
While physically acceptance is fatal.

View rose.t.morrell's Full Portfolio

When Death Feeds

Folder: 
Light and Dark

After the thunder

Comes the rain

After a blow

Comes the pain

After it’s done

Comes the shame

You shouldn’t have done it

Brother Cain

 

Did you not know

That death is hungry

Did you not know

It always needs

Did you not know

It’s never full

Didn’t you know

It eats him who feeds

 

Cursed are you

For killing your brother

Start life anew

Far from another

Marked is your forehead

So you’ll never forget

Your feet feel like lead

Death feeds on you yet

 

Why does the sky cry

When I’m crying

Why does the wind howl

As I’m dying

Why do the animals whimper

As I bleed

Why is it so cold

When death feeds?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The story of Cain, the first murderer, who killed his brother Abel out of jealosy. This is written as Cain's point of view from his death-bed many hundreds of years later.  Enjoy

View seraphim's Full Portfolio

What The Hell Am I Doing?

Everyday the same
Hypocritical shame
Reveling in pain
Spiritually insane

Saying one thing, doing another
Not being the man, student, brother
That I should be for each other
Because there won't be another

So confused
MY grace abused

All I know is: If I choose life
Then what the Hell am I doing?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just something short that came to mind one day... Hope you enjoy the randomness of it... I'm still not sure

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Helpless

Little One,
He whispers.
Come out and play,
He calls.
Do as I ask,
He persuades.
Give me what I desire,
He orders.
I do it all,
Never knowing,
Never telling,
Always remembering.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Comments/Thoughts appreciated.

View invisibird's Full Portfolio

Untitled

You should take your dirty words
Go tell them to someone else
Everything you say hurts
I'd rather be by myself

I will not stay with you
I will not wait for you
I am not your back up plan
I'll resist as much as I can
You'll just use me for yourself
Lies will no longer help
You no longer have my trust
Go ahead, cry if you must

You had us all fooled
Or maybe it was just me
Your words they overruled
Predictions that came to be
There are things I regret
There are mistakes I made
I wish I could forget
I wish I could erase
All this pain I've come to feel
All these scars that haven't healed.

I have shame.
I am to blame.
The time has come to pay.
The memory won't go away.

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Your Daughter's Eyes

Folder: 
1998 - 2010

Your daughter's eyes are blue just like her dad's,
Bright and beautiful
And her cheeks are like roses on a vine,
Red that spreads from ear to ear.
And I should never come here and tear
This joy with all my misery.
What will your daughter think of me?

My eyes are brown like dirt and clay,
So rough and worn and broken down.
My skin is carved with every sin, I could lie
And hope you'd never see.
But can you see how weathered is my house of cards,
And how my heart pumps bloody pain and suffering?
I'm ashamed to hear your loving words.

Your daughter's eyes are warm like yours,
And her hands will hold on just as tight.
If she should ever see clouds and rain,
I pray she'll believe in the stillness to come,
And she'll love like God had taught you once.
If I fade into my misery,
What will your daughter think of me?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written December 10, 2010

View maddiejace's Full Portfolio

tom

 

So much to lose

and yet nothing at all.

when nothing at all

is what I was to you

why do I feel the need to linger

Inside these wild boys minds,

I'm one in a million baby

you should know that i'm one of a kind.

There has been plenty of damage

from many a previous fire

still i cover it up well

Just call me an excellent liar.

Paint a smile on my face

But i'm not fully here

no I'm not always present

Just because i'm stood there.

All this sex, and the life of the city

I know that it is not for me

I crave peace and quiet

not the silvery surface of some

false paradise

but the realness

of the big black sky

and i could of loved you

for the arch of your brow

for the width of your smile

for your charming brown eye

dangerous

yet well intentioned

so heavily impressioned

On my mind forever.

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