affection

Unconditional

Folder: 
Poems.

I gaze upon them, so peaceful,

The life they lead, so blissful.

Their whiskers bend on the carpet,

Grouped in pairs, like a bartlett.

The songs they sing, ever loving,

Grazing my heart, so touching.

Patters of their feet instill amusement,

As they run to me in contentment.

The fur that drapes them, the softest,

Brushing my skin, I almost lost it.

The moments we share, always profound,

The love we exchange, safe and sound.

Within these arms they know,

That their soul I take with me in tow.

If ever we find ourselves apart,

One thing always remains: our heart.

The Perfect Ones

Folder: 
Poems.

Be wary of the perfect ones. The ones everyone likes, whose enemies consist only of narcissists, they know how to blend. Be wary of your affection for them, as they draw it out of you with their perfect skin. Be watchful upon where their eyes trace, as they laugh and sing, and cry and shake. Their traps are skillfull, unnoticed and strong. They draw you in, like a perfect little pawn. They paint it with comfort and a warm embrace, only to find yourself alone in this place. The wonderment smashes upon you, how did it end up like this? With nothing to go on, you're lost in an abyss. Emotion, the pain, you feel it to your core. Your love for them, unreciprocated, leaves you with a desire to want more. But as the pawn wears out, they toss you aside, to find another, after cutting their ties. Intricate, the game, these perfect ones play. Complex, the emotions, you struggle to remain at bay. With a screw in your head, that they've placed inside, life feels empty when they vanish on high.

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Cry In My Sleep

 

 I Lost My Ability To Cry
I'm Hurting So Much
I Feel Hurt
I Feel Pain
I Want To Cry
But Theres Not Tears
Theres No Emotions
Hold Me Please


Because I Can't Feel My Arms
I Can't Feel My Legs Anymore
I Feel Like Crying
But I'm Dying In My Sleep
Waking Up With Dried Up Eyes
I Don't Remember Crying
I Don't Remember Sleeping
Chill Runs Through On My Skin


Crying Out In Pain
I Wish I Could Cry
For My Body Can't Take It Anymore
Is This What It Feels Like
Why Must I Feel So Cold
Why Must I Feel So Emotionless
Pieces Of My Heart
Tears In Pieces


I Wish Again
I Could Cry
Just Once More
If I Could Hold You
If I Could Hug You
And Tell You One More Thing
I Just Want To Cry
I Want To Cry On Your Shoulder

 

 

A Baby Again

I want to be in your arms forever,
Resting my head on your lovely chest
I want to be a baby again
In your warm cuddle and embrace

Author's Notes/Comments: 

...to my love.

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To be embraced

To be embraced

By jfarrell

 

To be embraced…

For another’s arms to envelope me,

Hold me close,

Hold me tight;

 

To feel another’s warmth;

Not just the physical closeness, the physical heat;

But… the acceptance..

People wanting to hug me.

 

And I so want be hugged;

I dare not….

What if people knew how desperately I wanted that…

How vulnerable, open to attack and mocking, would that make me?

 

In 3 hours I will be 50….

These past 49 years

Been severely lacking in embraces, hugs and all human contact…

Fingers crossed, they’re all saved up and coming my way now.

 

Otherwise…

What point is there?

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

well... noone can say i'm not trying to change things...

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Obsession

Folder: 
Roses

I felled deep into your eyes,
Trapped with hopes and dreams,
How i terribly thinks of kissing you,
Such love drawing me towards death,
Fill with regrets but love as i thought,
How evil are you?
Driving me wild with such beauty,
O please i beg of you,
Dont take both my heart and my breath away.

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tags:

Somebody's Pain

Folder: 
People

I Know How You Feel With Tears
But I Can't Understand Your Past
For Shoes Can Walk So Far
I Dont Think I Can Walk This Far
These Bones Ache
This Flesh Is Killing Me
Please Save Me Again
Im Losing It
How Long
Must I Wait
How Long
Must I Feel This Pain


I've Been Waiting A Long Time
I Can't Get Over The Fact
That I'm Still Weak
I'm Broken
And That I Can't Pick Up The Pieces
Especially Not By Myself
I Know I Need Someone To Lean On
I Can't Really Reach Out
And I Don't Feel Like
I Have A Voice In This World
But Honestly
I Don't Really Speak Out
Because I Have
No One To Speak To


I Really Need Someone
Somebody To Talk To
Someone To Lean On
Someon I Can Cry To
Someone I Can Laugh With
Someone I Can Be In Love With
Someone I Can Be Myself With
But In All Of These Times
I Just Feel Too Alone
I'm Just Too Sad

Fucking Lost Again

You Want To Bring Them
Some Sort Of Happiness
But Nothing You Bring
Makes Them Smile At All
Not Even The Slightest Bit


You Wonder What Went Wrong In Your Life
Sometimes You Want Your Life To End
And Sometimes You Don't Know What To Do
But You End Up Moving Foward
Because You Don't Know
What The Else The Fuck To Do


You Don't Have Any Talents
You Don't Have Any Skills
The Dream I've Had
Since I Became A Christian
Hasn't Moved Forward
I Don't Know What To Do
I Don't Know What To Say


I'm Just Lost And I Need To Be Saved Again
And I Need To Feel Lovable, Capable And Worthwhile
I Need To Know I Am Not Alone
I Need To Know I Am Loved Without Strings

 

 

Afraid To Be Alone

Folder: 
Miracles

I've Tried Hide All The Scars
I Left Behind
You Wanted
To Make Me Fresh And New
But I'm Ashamed
I Have Nothing Of No Talent
I Feel I Have Of Nothing Of Use


I Tried Letting It Go
But You Wont Let Me Be
Why Do You Look For Me
When I've Got Nothing
You Cloak Your Cape
And Shower Your Love On Me

These Tears Cannot Express


But I Still Wonder
Why Do You Choose Me
Its Not Your Place
To Follow Me
You Expect Me To Give You Something
But I've Got No Talent
Still I Follow You
Because Of Your Caring Warmth


For Someone Who Has So Much
To Care For Someone Of So Little
Unclenching My Fist
And Opening Up My Soul
Makes Me Exhale My Heart
And Come Forth
With Arms Wide Open


Because Someone Who Cares
Someone Whos There For Me
And Someone Who Knows
Somebody
Who Knows Whats Its Like
Being Afraid To Be Alone