past

Hypnotized

ice cold numbness

bathing the hands and feet

of soldiers past

doused in healing water

reaching into portals beyond

and flesh and bones 

of days gone by

and a time where sirens

fill the skies

the laughter of chidren dies

 

he glazed the tip of the scapel

to the wound in my mind

unknowing if whether

the stitch would hold

but had faith in the light of my eyes

her pain was great and lasted years

but the greater pain seen in his tears

a universal bandaid was what he saw

to nulify the scars of war

 

the surgeon's hopes 

are filled with fears

but love outlasts

all human tears

 

 

 

12:48 PM 7/4/2013

 

©

 

..............

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is about an experience gifted to me by a doctor whose care i was once under as a child.

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Photograph

dry and parched, the love we had,

 

deep in my memory,

 

i wander through mirages,

 

like this photo of you and me,

 

and though it's badly weathered ,

 

donned with cracks, it's fading shade,

 

the sweetness lingers deep within,

 

about the love we made,

 

my fist is clenched, the beads of sweat,

 

fragmented, splintered glass,

 

forever leaving one concern,

 

"Why can't i throw it in the trash?"

 

 

 

 

1:37 AM 6/23/2013  ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

old useless photos. 

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Undertow.

Do you run the risk of breaking down too deep,

is this what you were wishing for,

when the rain was bearing down on me and together we hit the floor?

did you get lost; caught up in the undertow?

are you miles off the shore?

you're never gonna get to heaven--

but hell's got open doors.


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Empty Suitcases

Folder: 
2013

I know it's not easy
To be in love with me
I'm holding onto
5000 pounds
Of luggage
From the past

And when I packed my bags
And I sat beside you
You asked
If you could carry
Some of the burdon

I swear there were tears
In my eyes
When your smile radiated light
Into the darkest depths
Of my damaged home

So I took my bags
Locked the suitcases tight
And I threw them
Into
The sea

Rain On Down

Folder: 
Light and Dark

Go on and just let it rain

Rain on down

I don’t care

Anyhow

Keep on washing

This pain away

I don’t care

She’s gone away

 

Twilight’s moonlight

Shines against the sun

Hasn’t taken over yet

But I know it’s won

Just like how I feel right now

Numbness sets on me

Taking away how I felt

What we could’ve been

 

Hell ya rain is a good thing

Because where would I really be

Without it taking away my thoughts

And all my memory

Without my past

I have a future

So just go on

 

And just let it rain

Rain on down

I don’t care

Anyhow

Keep on washing

This pain away

I don’t care

She’s gone away

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FROM ME TO THE PAST

NOW IS THE FUTURE OF THE PAST

EVERYONE HAVE A PAST

IN THE PRESENT THEY REMEMBER THE PAST

FROM THE PRESENT TO THE FUTURE

MEMORY NEVER FORGOTEN

SO FAR SO CLOSE

NOW IS NOW

PAST AND NOW ARE DIFFERENT

MEMORIES ARE JUST PAST

THE PAST NEVER COME BACK

 
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tags:

Sweet euphoria

so enticed by your own suffering..

it keeps coming back around.. 

just when you think you're standing up, you get pushed down.

you wonder, but why bother..

 

I know what that feels like... 

to be swallowing dirt, with your face planted into the ground..

your mind is in constant crucifixion..

you can't look at the clouds, & know the sun is behind it.. 

 

the hands of time move in circles...

quality is not quantity.. 

tomorrow is not today.

 

if this storm hovers over me,

if it fucking pours down on me,

for all eternity..

raindrops will glisten through my eyes.. 

you'll see I never tried to hide.. 

 

because the rain can bring out our true colors,

when given the chance to pass..

I will walk along a street of rainbows,

while the past burns, & falls to ash.. 

 

my heart says not to turn, & walk away.. 

but so badly it yearns to fly, & just escape..

oh, Sweet Euphoria..

 

Sweet Memories

Folder: 
Songs

Time flies by way too fast

And what was the present’s now the past

And I think how we were back then

The trees whisper your name again

 

Sing to me sweet memories

Of just how great things used to be

Remind me again what went wrong

To end the time when we’d get along

Laughing and playing in the summer breeze

Jumping in the river from an old tree

I remember how great things were back then

Sing to me sweet memories

 

Twelve years later at a county fair

Our first date I was so scared

But your hand felt so right in mine

How would I know I’d forget that time?

Our wedding day, and honeymoon

Before long you’re a mother soon

I felt like I was on top then

I wish I could go back again

 

Sing to me sweet memories

Of just how things used to be

Of how her kiss felt that night

How holding her felt so right

Knowing my son was on the way

Thanking God everyday

I remember how great things were back then

Sing to me sweet memories

 

Here I sit in a Hospital room

Doctor says it will be soon

Forgotten life for so long

And my body is not so strong

But as I’m leaving, just before I pass

I see my life through the looking glass

And I see my wife once again

I remember how it was back when

 

Sing to me sweet memories

Of just how things used to be

Kiss my wife every night

Living, loving through my life

Now to Your Son, I’m on my way

Thank You God everyday

For letting me remember how things were back then

Sing to me sweet memories

 

Sweet memories

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this song from the viewpoint of an old man with alzheimers.... I don't know, something just clicked as I wrote.  Enjoy

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Metallic love

I can't focus... it's getting to me, more each day.. 

my thoughts stretch like clay, & unfortunately mold me, here & there.. 

I wish so much for you to of been able to stay.

was it really mean't to be this way..?

cause I surely feel unsatisfied.. 

comfort is something we all crave.. 

but you were like security to me, & I watched it all get ripped away..

what a waste of a night.. what a realization, I couldn't fight..

 

I miss you more then the depths of the ocean go deep..

some nights like this.. I have trouble trying to sleep.. 

we yearn, we learn.. forever burn...

tables turn..

I want to take back so much i've said..

because they were useless particles floating around in my head..

6 months pass.. everything falls to ash but the memories.. 

 

fuck me for letting other opinions get in the way of my true heart..

fuck them for denying love.. as if they really knew.

sorry I can seem like a rainbow of emotions.. or a bleak cloudy day.. 

but I can promise much sunshine after being drenched in such heavy rain.. 

 

will another 6 months make a difference..?

or would it just be a whole year spent needing you..

it's not like I can't live... or breathe without you..

but it's to the point I really just don't want to... 

sorry about getting "distracted".. 

I don't excpect you to still feel like you need me,

want, love or care about me.. 

though I feel all the same & even more.

 

this incense continues to coil... & I could watch it for hours.

as i'm thinking.. when I die.. would this all of passed right before my eyes?

I want to know that instead of sitting here, waiting..

hoping, wondering.. not knowing.. 

instead, I'll get to see you smile again..

that for me, would never ever be a waste of time.

at least i'd know that's what I did with my last bit of life.

 

I don't know if I have the power anymore to get you to laugh without trying..

or the privilege of being on your mind... 

when I take my last breath, please tear this heart out of my chest..

put it in a jar.. keep it preserved.

if you go first.. i'll remember your wish, if it's still what you'd want.

i'll hold onto yours too.. even though it's no longer beating..

always I will love you.. through my hands this blood is seeping..

like treasure... from the chest.

metallic love..  

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3.12.13..