Looks like I'm finally ending my rut.
In five seconds I'll probably nut.
I pulled out on a whim.
Stuck it back in.
Then she sceamed, "hey, that's my butt!"

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just being the immature child that I am.  (Read like Hickory Dickory Dock)

View rays_no_poet's Full Portfolio

Double Barreled Stupidity


So I have been involved in making t-shirt designs for years now. Mostly typography types but not always. I mean I am first and foremost a writer. I have been since I was around ten years old. Tonight I was inspired by a quote to make something like it of my own for a t-shirt. After much scribbling and scratching out I came up with this.


"See this shirt? It's my magical bullet proof vest  When I wear it I am immune to your double barreled stupidity"


That said with the nature of what I do I know someone out there will eventually steal my original saying/quote and use it to make a quick buck. There are those in print on demand who have no respect for anything but the dollar...


I guess that one part of why I came here to share this in an article. To protect my intellectual property after a fashion. Not the entire reason though. Much of it is just being really proud of myself for putting that together based on another quote I read.


Now I know I mentioned being inspired by another quote... but what I came up with is wildly different and also quite a bit longer than the original. It is not stealing to be inspired and come up with your own thing. :) I won't have any issue if someone does that with anything I write. I would be honored.


However if they directly take it what I worked hard on ... word for word... I will be most upset.


- HLGagne



Author's Notes/Comments: 

My brain is not only always on but going 100 mph. :)

All I want for Christmas (adult content rated R)



All I want for Christmas, is you naked in my bed

Not you as just a fantasy, that's only in my head.

I want to explore your body, yes every single spot.

Because you are so beautiful, and so sexually hot.

I want to kiss your lips, and kiss you on the neck

And make you so damn horny, you cant wait to get me into bed

I want to squeeze your titties, so firm and yet so soft,

I want to go down on you, until I get you off.

You are the present, I want on Christmas day

The woman I make love to, in every possible way

You are the present, I want as my Christmas gift.

The present I wake to find, that I can play all day with.

I want to take your clothes off, like the wrapping on a present

I promise if you let me, you'll find it will be pleasent.

So... do you think,  that Santa, will grant me my only wish

I promise we can have a good time, and enjoy some sexual bliss!!!

All that it would take, is for you to just agree

For you to decide, you want to have sex with me!!!



PAUL (ChryWizard) POSNEY 12/24/2019

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this for humor, because after all..

. isn't this what all guys want for christmas??? LOL

View chrywizard's Full Portfolio

Tacos in the Rain



Más sabe el diablo por viejo que por diablo

And heaven knows this devil's too damn young

You shattered through my shell [then] left me here inside a hell

Of some unholy mole swamp hot as the sun


But maybe tacos in the rain will help to put the fire out,

Cause life's still full of lessons left to learn

Yeah, break out the champagne; it's time for tacos in the rain,

I'll toast to you, then watch the world around me burn.


From the start [the] love you gave was a salsa to my soul

[But I] didn't know that there were reapers in the mix

And now you're gone, but there's still desire and in your stead, you left a fire
That a barrel of tequila couldn't fix


Maybe tacos in the rain will help to put the fire out,

I’m not ready to return to dust and ash
Right now hope is all I got (save for some tacos and a shot).

I'll toast to us and wonder why it couldn’t last.


I gave to you my heart; next thing I knew I saw you carve

a molcajete that my tears have since stained and glazed.

To say I’m feeling blue would be an understated truth

Cause “fajita you” is the best I do on darker days


Well even tacos in the rain, they couldn't save me from this pain

How to love again is a lesson time will help me learn

Damn soggy tacos in the rain; still, there ain't no use to complain

Maybe I'll try your sister's tortas out instead

Author's Notes/Comments: 


Makes me think of a place or situation that amounts to the evil twin of “Big Rock Candy Mountain.


It’s about Heartburn or Heartbreak; you decide.

View mvnk's Full Portfolio

Baseball Everywhere

Elvin and Leroy were baseball players
From the time they were six years old
And best friends since the early days
A million baseball stories to be told

Their entire lives had been consumed
By the game of baseball which they
Played together all through school
Then pro-Negro league as Blue Jays

Even in retirement baseball was key
Games at the ball park and on the t.v.
Indeed – it was a sad day when Elvin
Passed away from a cardio infraction

Poor Leroy was hurt and felt so alone
He had always had Elvin by his side
And now without – was totally thrown
Unable to handle that Elvin had died

Leroy missed Elvin so much that he
Kept talking to him – always his plea
“Please let me know how you’re doing
So I can quit all my silly brooding”

But nothing – no answer from Elvin
Until late one night – in the kitchen
Leroy was talking - asking his friend
For a message – some sign to be sent

Leroy was sitting at the table and
Heard Elvin so asked – “that you man”
Without hesitation the voice of Elvin
Clear as day – “It’s me – good friend”

Leroy was both shocked and ecstatic
He started talking and then did ask
About baseball in heaven – and Elvin
Said – “Leroy – it really is heaven”

“They got baseball everywhere and
You should see the fields and parks
Just like we used to dream and plan
And got beautiful lights after dark”

“That is wonderful news” – said Leroy
“Wonderful – is there any bad news”
Elvin began tentatively – “well old boy
There is some bad news I brought you”

“What bad news - Elvin ” – Leroy asked
“Tell me – whatever - be what it might “
So Leroy started slow then said it fast
“Elvin - you’re pitchin’ tomorrow night”


When I'm in New Orleans, I find it’s generally desirable to get a hotel room near Canal ST or St. Charles ST.  These are well located and it is easy to walk over to a streetcar stop.  These are two main thoroughfares and will connect with  with most of the city.


The old trolleys are painfully slow and generally not air conditioned but it's still nice from the historical perspective.  And when you’re in New Orleans, you will be expected to remember to call it a streetcar.  In most other cities, you would be catching a trolley.  In Los Angeles or Memphis or Philadelphia, you are simply jumping on the trolley and it gets you to your location.


In New Orleans, you ride a streetcar not a trolley. The locals will take offense if you call it a trolley.  You’ll be adamantly corrected and then shunned as a foolish tourist.  They won’t even accept the notion that the two words are synonyms.


It may seem strange to an outsider but I guess it does make some sense.  Imagine if Tennessee Williams wrote a play called “A Trolley Called Desire.”  His editor would have been like, “Get the fuck out of here!  You can’t expect anyone to show up for a play or a movie called “ A Trolley Called Desire.”  Marlon Brando might have ended up with a completely different career trajectory.  


View georgeschaefer's Full Portfolio


Leaves of grass, my ass!

 but this is no slam on Whitman

nor a drunken ode to Homer

nor any pretense at literature

nor a meager nod to pop culture

in an animated wonderland.


Leaves of grass, my ass!

because I sang the body electric

though the learned astronomer

coolly advised otherwise

and betrayed the beauty of the stars.


Leaves of grass, my ass!

A year of meteors long promised

yet still remain undelivered

I watch my captain cold & dead

and we swore upon children of Adam;

we cursed the setting sun.


Leaves of grass, my ass!

Although I dreamed in a dream

the skewering of fallen angels

and the resurrection of saints;

the cartoonish folly elicited.


Leaves of grass, my ass!

O eternal love restore me;

lead me down the path of enlightenment

eternal truth is all we seek\

be it in leaves of grass, swinging pendulums

or other images broadcast thru our mind’s eye.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Published in Moonstone Press Remembering Walt Whitman anthology.  I read it at the anthology release event 11-10-19.


JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO DO POETRY AGAIN: Schaefer, George: 9798449725561: Books


View georgeschaefer's Full Portfolio



I noticed that I'm different,  then I was before

I no longer look to see, if it's you, coming through the door! 

I realized that I don't check my phone, hoping that you called. 

I don't even check my text,  to see if you texted at all. 

I'm sorry to have to tell you this,  but I thought you should know. 

When a person isn't there, our feelings start to go. 

maybe that's why  your avoiding me, to clear me from your mind...

but if you look deep inside,  your heart, it's me you'll find.

as for me,  I must say,  it hurts more then I thought

when nothings said,  no-reason why, not one explaintion have I got! 

So I live my life each day,  without you ever here. 

the rose colored glasses that I  wear,  are becoming  really clear. 

Now I realize that Im slowly, getting over you

It feels strange not having you here, but that's just what you do. 

I have no Tears to cry,  they dryed long ago

I have no words to beg...  I'll simply let you go!  

I'll never understand, what was so hard to do? 

I found it very easy, to love only you. 

but we made our choices,  or they were made for us.

now we must live with them, and move on as we must!  

So I'll simply say I'm sorry,  for not being the one you need. 

I could have been,  if you'd have let me in, instead you made me bleed.

So this is me without you,  cold and does not care... 

I'm at the point of not giving a shit,  if your ever there. 

So this is how it feels... getting over you? 

I have less stress,  I spend much less,  and I can find somebody new...!!!


Paul (ChryWizard)  Posney ©02/15/2018

View chrywizard's Full Portfolio

VALENTINE'S Day on a budget

May everyone feel the love in the air, the romance in your heart and the pleasure of spending the day with someone you love... (Or hope to...)


Valentines Day on a budget


Happy Valentine day ladies, you're all such a wonderful treat, 

Like a piece of candy...  Damn you sure are sweet.

Have Cupid Shoot an arrow,  in my heart real deep

So I'll have dreams of you,  at night when I sleep. 

Hearts and Rose's  and chocolate Candy too...

These are the things, I'd love, to give you.

But since today I'm broke..., all that I can say...

Is "Will you still be my Valentine?" on this Valentine's Day?"


©Paul (ChryWizard) Posney 2-14-2013 


Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this a few years ago,  forgot it...  Found it,  decided to share it... 

Hope you enjoy it... 

View chrywizard's Full Portfolio