As the stresses of the day wear on,
My furrowed brow tucked firmly in pensive thought,
My back torn open from the malicious whips of jealous competition
Lips pursed tight,
chest groaning with slivers of painful angst
Mind racing foul
I carry my heavy load yoked firmly home
I walk through that familiar door
bright eyes burning with warm welcome seer through me
my furrows are swept away
tension easing,
I unfurl as you rise to greet me,
Warm smiles contagiously leap on to my gaunt expression
tender lips move so gently over mine
softening every hash word passed through them,
My chest unclenches releasing butterflies from thier paranoid chains
Warm arms brush away the stings of the days warfare
Relief washes through me
My armour falls away
As my soul tucks tightly into you
A whisper from my heart releases
'I'm home'.
Armor can withstand the deadliest swarm
While blanket can keep the injured souls warm
You are superior to both.
For armor can’t caress the cub in distress
And blanket can’t protect
For all of us that you call you own,
You have done so much.
When we screw up and lost in our world,
You pull us out with a tender touch.
I enjoyed our every exchange,
Leaves me asking for more.
Things I’ve done to make us estranged,
It hurts me to my core.
I return as the summer ends,
I’m determined to make amends.
It will happen for sure.
As days go by and nights turn late, I procrastinate
Until that day.
I truly adored the stories told
In the conversations we will have.
But fate had thought of plans so cold,
That I no longer have the chance.
You should have seen, in the afternoon,
When we all learned the truth.
Not a single dry eye across the yard,
we face the shocking sooth.
Questions were asked but none was solved, saw the light escape many eyes,
All that’s left was grief.
For the big and small, for the fragile and strong, for the friends and foes,
We come together in disbelief,
No boundary as we embrace, as we try to comprehend.
To comprehend, to understand, to…
Impossible, minds were filled with thoughts,
Tangled in a thousand knots.
Nothing but chaos.
When the fog thinned out, there is no doubt,
We remembered what you said.
Ginger ale to replace the beer,
Keep a leveled head.
Together we cheer,
With the ginger ale, to you and all you’ve done
Till this day, I cannot say,
I have truly face reality.
For in my mind, you went away
In a vacation blissed and free.
I will wait, till that date,
When I have the chance.
But till then, we celebrate,
With bottles of ginger ale.
............
who cares if there
are flowers on my corpse
if I'm dead?
if love is your intent
then bring me
some good memories
and things you learned
to make your life easier
and more worth living.
wrap it up in a rusted coffee can
from some dark alley where babies lie in dumpsters
and place it somewhere all can see and be comforted
that someone thought about them, and cared
about why their lives ended, and tried to understand
not to punish, but to prevent it.
give me life in my death,
and not sorrow for
what you forgot to do
or not do, to prevent
yourself from being hurt
on the day I leave here.
funerals are for the ones who are left here,
because the only thing I intend
to leave you after material possessions
are divied out,
is the same thing since the day
I first looked in your eyes,
the gratitude for having shared moments together.
we have all been dying since the day we were born,
and if we arrive at our final resting place in peace,
and not at the hands of violence,
then we have been granted more than enough
to say we have been blessed.
I spend my days now thinking what a beautiful soul you are.
5:35 PM 8/4/2013 ©
inspired by http://www.postpoems.org/authors/huliganfish/poem/964713
..............
...........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qbpaz-u5WIE
"oh, it was a horrible wrongdoing!
you should have been there,
the way he spoke to her,
after all she had gone through,
it made everyone want to
hang him...see him suffer good!
and what about the mother?
she was just as bad...
whacked out crack whore
too busy to even feed her own baby!
what should we do?
i say DEMAND an apology!
HANG the son-of-a-bitches,
but first make them suffer good!
why should we tolerate this crudity?
we ALL deserve an apology
at the very least!
who do they think they are?
don't they realize we are human beings?
we are deserving of RESPECT!!
the way they spoke to us is just plain wrong!!
we can't let them think they can get away with this!"
****************************
i listen to the words
of a small group of people
outside in the hallway
of the municipal court building
whilst waiting patiently
to pay my traffic ticket.
i am eavesdropping, yes,
one of the habits i have,
mostly due to my joy for people-watching.
but in this case,
also due to the fact that
i am upset with myself at the moment,
because one ticket in 12 years
has spurred me into a multi-faceted
voyage of self-introspection
that has now lasted for the past 3 weeks,
as getting tickets
has always been my
'personal summons' as well as
the financial penalty it so kindly
lavishes on my ever-dwindling checking account.
as a means to briefly escape
beating myself up for the past 3 weeks,
i take a short glimpse
into a different outlook
on the moment,
as i indulge in my own
little secret self-righteousness,
playing both judge and jury
on the indignant ones next to me in the hallway,
and reach an opinion of their complaints.
it goes like this:
first of all,lady, i don't know
what happened here,
but have you read the sign on the building
that says 'municipal court'?
that sort of means this is not a huge deal,
and the reason it isn't is because
this town is full of people just like you,
who think we have nothing better to do here
except have 'group therapy' all freaking day long.
second of all, you with the demand sign
and noose in your back pocket--
get a dam* grip on yourself,
before you die from your own mortification,
because it might come to your surprise,
that you aren't the first person in the world
to have someone call you out--
happens every day, you're just too self absorbed
to notice when it happens around you to others,
and furthurmore, the entire thing about
being a human being means that
nobody's flawless, so get over it, pal.
thirdly, not to make this a family gathering,
but all of your mothers must have
had one too many, the night before she
packed your 'social skills survival kit',
because she obviously forgot to tell you
that respect is a two way street,
and it doesn't happen just because
somebody did something wrong to you,
it's something you create with others,
and most times you create more of it for yourself
through your example of being it,
than you ever could with demands--
that's just the way it works.
so if you're saying you need an apology to
act like a decent respectful human being,
shame on you, i am embarrassed to
share the species with you, little miss perfect---
---and now I have to take a recess
because they just called my name!!
as i walk towards the door,
one of the women in the group
taps me on the arm. she holds in her hand two
shiny pennies, and looks up at me
saying, 'did you drop this'?
i look at her and can't help smiling a little,
'no, honey, i gave my two cents, that's for you'.
with a puzzled look on her face, i make
my way past and into the courtroom.
never did have to pay for that ticket.
turns out, the first ticket is considered
a second chance here... love it!
Court Is Adjourned!!
12:43 AM 7/2/2013
The sweetest note just came to me.
From a friend who muses off of me.
He said he was proud after watching me.
As I read an ode to our friend Kenny.
Following with a fairy tale,
to the little girl in the corner booth.
He said it filled his heart with love.
Watching me as I gave my love.
He called me a fantastic woman,
It brought a tear into my eye.
The honor that he just gave me,
was a little bit hard for me to receive.
I don't know why its hard to hear praise.
Self doubt always seems to get in the way.
Nevertheless it made me feel good.
As I'm happy to touch a soul or two.
The little girl, I had inspired.
She wrote her own story with a couple of letters.
Then she read what she wrote to me.
It was quite an elaborate fairy tale story.
Only she could read the words.
Adults had tried but couldn't decipher,
For they lived within her 4 yr old mind.
Couldn't read or write but she could see the lines.
Its a joy to see a soul inspired to be creative at any age.
I'm grateful for these interactions, they are a beautiful exchange.
I am gravely sorry
That you hold pain within you.
We share love,
Whether you choose to accept it
In your reality or not.
I am empathetic towards your pain.
I am not a psychiatrist.
I am not a psychologist.
I do not know how to control your delusions,
Only you know how to do that.
I do know this.
When you can clearly see,
That keeping your mouth shut,
Instead of opening it,
Is hurting far more people
Than it is helping...
...it's time to open your damn mouth.
05/19/2013 10:04 AM ©
Lists of things to do today
That’s all I write
Like that’s okay
I think of poems
here and there
I speak in puns
I like to hear
I can’t read some
of you verbose poems
They are to lengthy
while I’m going
Through this page
to fill my mind
With images
that I’ll leave behind
Like so many lives
I’ve lived in dreams
Fade away like
lotion creams
Before i ever knew the love, i have now for my kids
way back before i met the girl i'd spend my life with
you held me in your caring arms and showed me who i am
Alone you gave the gift of care- and held my little hand
you sacrificed so many things to make our family safe
with double shifts and patient words- you'd put me in my place
~
you never made me feel at all, a burden to your life
even though the times were rough, you made them feel alright
and looking back i'm certain that you did the best you could
a single mom who payed the bills i think you did damn good.
~
times have changed and apron strings have long since peeled away
you have no plans just simple dreams and take them day by day
so now you play your pogo games and watch your favorite shows
and wait for winter every year just to see the snow
~
i'm a lucky man to have a mom whose love don't run away
the same woman who watched me grow is watching still today
although i'm grown and wiser now i still witness what you did
a grandma now to little ones with the love you show my kids
~
I love you Mom
Happy Mothers Day