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As the stresses of the day wear on,
My furrowed brow tucked firmly in pensive thought,

My back torn open from the malicious whips of jealous competition

Lips pursed tight, 

chest groaning with slivers of painful angst 
Mind racing foul
I carry my heavy load yoked firmly home
I walk through that familiar door 
bright eyes burning with warm welcome seer through me 
my furrows are swept away
tension easing,

I unfurl as you  rise to greet me,
Warm smiles contagiously leap on to my gaunt expression
tender lips move so gently over mine
softening every hash word passed through them, 
My chest unclenches releasing butterflies from thier  paranoid chains
Warm arms brush away the stings of the days warfare 
Relief washes through me
My armour falls away 
As my soul tucks tightly into you 
A whisper from my heart releases
'I'm home'.

 

• EVERYTHING STARTS WHEN YOU WAKE ME UP, OPEN MY EYES AND WATCH THE WORLD UNRAVELED AS IT DEVELOPES,EVERYTHING TURNS MOVES GROWS BEFORE OURS EYES AS NOTHING STOPS,GUIDED ME AND BEEN HELPFUL,THOUGHTFUL AND KIND,EXTERME MIND,SPECIAL SMILE QUALITY I SEEN THE BLUR AND SEEN IT SHINE,BYOND PRICELESS YOUR KINDNESS AND REALNESS AND LOVE I FELT,SPECIAL INFLUENCE EVERY HEART BEAT MOLD ME YOU BEEN HUMBLE AND HELP,REGARLESS LIFE UPS AND DOWN A HAND THAT WAS DEALT,SMILE SO KIND APPRECIATE THE MOMENT EMOTION BEOMES A GOOD DEED,ROUGH TIMES DARKNESS INTO THE LIGHT YOU HAVE COMFORT ME,YOU BEEN HELP AND GUIDE ME IN A TIME OF NEED,LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME TO SEE THE WHATS RIGHT FROM THE WORLD ENVY AND GREED,SINCE BIRTH I BEEN WAKING UP TO LIFE BUT IN REALITY IS LIFE AT THE END JUST A SIMPLE DREAM.........

Armor can withstand the deadliest swarm

While blanket can keep the injured souls warm

You are superior to both.

For armor can’t caress the cub in distress

And blanket can’t protect

 

For all of us that you call you own,

You have done so much.

When we screw up and lost in our world,

You pull us out with a tender touch.

 

I enjoyed our every exchange,

Leaves me asking for more.

Things I’ve done to make us estranged,

It hurts me to my core.

 

I return as the summer ends,

I’m determined to make amends.

It will happen for sure.

As days go by and nights turn late, I procrastinate

Until that day.

 

I truly adored the stories told

In the conversations we will have.

But fate had thought of plans so cold,

That I no longer have the chance.

 

You should have seen, in the afternoon,

When we all learned the truth.

Not a single dry eye across the yard,

we face the shocking sooth.

 

Questions were asked but none was solved, saw the light escape many eyes,

All that’s left was grief.

For the big and small, for the fragile and strong, for the friends and foes,

We come together in disbelief,

No boundary as we embrace, as we try to comprehend.

To comprehend, to understand, to…

Impossible, minds were filled with thoughts,

Tangled in a thousand knots.

Nothing but chaos.

 

When the fog thinned out, there is no doubt,

We remembered what you said.

Ginger ale to replace the beer,

Keep a leveled head.

Together we cheer,

With the ginger ale, to you and all you’ve done

 

Till this day, I cannot say,

I have truly face reality.

For in my mind, you went away

In a vacation blissed and free.

 

I will wait, till that date,

When I have the chance.

But till then, we celebrate,

With bottles of ginger ale.

 

............

who cares if there 

are flowers on my corpse 

if I'm dead?

if love is your intent

then bring me

some good memories

and things you learned 

to make your life easier

and more worth living.

wrap it up in a rusted coffee can

from some dark alley where babies lie in dumpsters

and place it somewhere all can see and be comforted

that someone thought about them, and cared

about why their lives ended, and tried to understand

not to punish, but to prevent it.

 

give me life in my death,

and not sorrow for

what you forgot to do

or not do, to prevent 

yourself from being hurt

on the day I leave here.

funerals are for the ones who are left here,

because the only thing I intend 

to leave you after material possessions

are divied out,

is the same thing since the day 

I first looked in your eyes,

the gratitude for having shared moments together.

we have all been dying since the day we were born,

and if we arrive at our final resting place in peace,

and not at the hands of violence,

then we have been granted more than enough

to say we have been blessed.

I spend my days now thinking what a beautiful soul you are.

 

5:35 PM 8/4/2013 ©

inspired by http://www.postpoems.org/authors/huliganfish/poem/964713

..............

...........

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qbpaz-u5WIE

 

"oh, it was a horrible wrongdoing!

you should have been there,

the way he spoke to her, 

after all she had gone through,

it made everyone want to 

hang him...see him suffer good!

and what about the mother?

she was just as bad...

whacked out crack whore

too busy to even feed her own baby!

what should we do?

i say DEMAND an apology!

HANG the son-of-a-bitches,

but first make them suffer good!

why should we tolerate this crudity?

we ALL deserve an apology

at the very least! 

who do they think they are?

don't they realize we are human beings?

we are deserving of RESPECT!!

the way they spoke to us is just plain wrong!!

we can't let them think they can get away with this!"

 

****************************

 

i listen to the words 

of a small group of people

outside in the hallway

of the municipal court building 

whilst waiting patiently 

to pay my traffic ticket.

i am eavesdropping, yes,

one of the habits i have, 

mostly due to my joy for people-watching.

but in this case, 

also due to the fact that

i am upset with myself at the moment,

because one ticket in 12 years

has spurred me into a multi-faceted

voyage of self-introspection

that has now lasted for the past 3 weeks,

as getting tickets 

has always been my 

'personal summons' as well as 

the financial penalty it so kindly

lavishes on my ever-dwindling checking account.

 

as a means to briefly escape 

beating myself up for the past 3 weeks,

i take a short glimpse 

into a different outlook

on the moment,

as i indulge in my own 

little secret self-righteousness,

playing both judge and jury

on the indignant ones next to me in the hallway,

and reach an opinion of their complaints.

 

it goes like this:

first of all,lady, i don't know 

what happened here,

but have you read the sign on the building

that says 'municipal court'? 

that sort of means this is not a huge deal,

and the reason it isn't is because 

this town is full of people just like you,

who think we have nothing better to do here

except have 'group therapy' all freaking day long.

 

second of all, you with the demand sign 

and noose in your back pocket--

get a dam* grip on yourself,

before you die from your own mortification,

because it might come to your surprise,

that you aren't the first person in the world

to have someone call you out--

happens every day, you're just too self absorbed 

to notice when it happens around you to others,

and furthurmore, the entire thing about 

being a human being means that

nobody's flawless, so get over it, pal.

 

thirdly, not to make this a family gathering,

but all of your mothers must have 

had one too many, the night before she 

packed your 'social skills survival kit',

because she obviously forgot to tell you

that respect is a two way street,

and it doesn't happen just because 

somebody did something wrong to you,

it's something you create with others,

and most times you create more of it for yourself

through your example of being it, 

than you ever could with demands--

that's just the way it works.

so if you're saying you need an apology to 

act like a decent respectful human being,

shame on you, i am embarrassed to 

share the species with you, little miss perfect---

 

---and now I have to take a recess 

because they just called my name!!

 

as i walk towards the door, 

one of the women in the group

taps me on the arm. she holds in her hand two 

shiny pennies, and looks up at me

saying, 'did you drop this'?

i look at her and can't help smiling a little,

'no, honey, i gave my two cents, that's for you'. 

with a puzzled look on her face, i make 

my way past and into the courtroom.

 

never did have to pay for that ticket.

turns out, the first ticket is considered 

a second chance here... love it!

 

Court Is Adjourned!!

 

 

12:43 AM 7/2/2013 

The sweetest note just came to me.

From a friend who muses off of me.

He said he was proud after watching me.

As I read an ode to our friend Kenny.

Following with a fairy tale,

to the little girl in the corner booth.

He said it filled his heart with love.

Watching me as I gave my love.

He called me a fantastic woman, 

It brought a tear into my eye.

The honor that he just gave me, 

was a little bit hard for me to receive.

I don't know why its hard to hear praise.

Self doubt always seems to get in the way.

Nevertheless it made me feel good.

As I'm happy to touch a soul or two.

The little girl, I had inspired.

She wrote her own story with a couple of letters.

Then she read what she wrote to me.

It was quite an elaborate fairy tale story.

Only she could read the words.

Adults had tried but couldn't decipher,

For they lived within her 4 yr old mind.

Couldn't read or write but she could see the lines.

Its a joy to see a soul inspired to be creative at any age.

I'm grateful for these interactions, they are a beautiful exchange.

I am gravely sorry
That you hold pain within you.

 

We share love,

Whether you choose to accept it
In your reality or not.

 

I am empathetic towards your pain.

 

I am not a psychiatrist.
I am not a psychologist.
I do not know how to control your delusions,
Only you know how to do that.

 

I do know this.

When you can clearly see,
That keeping your mouth shut,
Instead of opening it,
Is hurting far more people
Than it is helping...

 

...it's time to open your damn mouth.

 

 

05/19/2013 10:04 AM ©

Lists of things to do today
That’s all I write
Like that’s okay
I think of poems
here and there
I speak in puns
I like to hear
I can’t read some
of you verbose poems
They are to lengthy
while I’m going
Through this page
to fill my mind
With images
that I’ll leave behind
Like so many lives
I’ve lived in dreams
Fade away like
lotion creams

Before i ever knew the love, i have now for my kids
way back before i met the girl i'd spend my life with
you held me in your caring arms and showed me who i am
Alone you gave the gift of care- and held my little hand
you sacrificed so many things to make our family safe
with double shifts and patient words- you'd put me in my place
~
you never made me feel at all, a burden to your life
even though the times were rough, you made them feel alright
and looking back i'm certain that you did the best you could
a single mom who payed the bills i think you did damn good.
~
times have changed and apron strings have long since peeled away
you have no plans just simple dreams and take them day by day
so now you play your pogo games and watch your favorite shows
and wait for winter every year just to see the snow
~
i'm a lucky man to have a mom whose love don't run away
the same woman who watched me grow is watching still today
although i'm grown and wiser now i still witness what you did
a grandma now to little ones with the love you show my kids
~
I love you Mom
Happy Mothers Day