I've been feeling quite empty these past few nights

Finding myself just laying in bed watching the clock take my time

In life, shouldn't there be more?

Is there something out there I should be looking for?


I've begun to develop imaginary friends 

Talking to my crimson walls, and these shadows don't pretend 

I find that if I close my eyes 

I can see the beauty they describe 


But when I open them, I see

All the hate, the lies, the greed

So, for now, I think I'm done trying to cope

For now, I've waved the white flag, given up hope


And don't tell me I don't know shit or I'm insane

You can't understand how I feel, until you've lived inside my brain

It's intolerable, it's fucking pain

A mess I've made, constant re-arranging 


I fucking hate letting go 

But there's no more hands reaching for me to hold

I've never been a quitter, but life shows me no reason to stay

I've been destroyed, inside and out, nothing ever goes my way


So tonight, as I've been writing these words

I've realized life is only going to get  worse

And I find myself closer to this basket of knives 

So I bid farewell to whoever reads this, tonight I take my life 






Ginger Ale

The Journey

Armor can withstand the deadliest swarm

While blanket can keep the injured souls warm

You are superior to both.

For armor can’t caress the cub in distress

And blanket can’t protect


For all of us that you call you own,

You have done so much.

When we screw up and lost in our world,

You pull us out with a tender touch.


I enjoyed our every exchange,

Leaves me asking for more.

Things I’ve done to make us estranged,

It hurts me to my core.


I return as the summer ends,

I’m determined to make amends.

It will happen for sure.

As days go by and nights turn late, I procrastinate

Until that day.


I truly adored the stories told

In the conversations we will have.

But fate had thought of plans so cold,

That I no longer have the chance.


You should have seen, in the afternoon,

When we all learned the truth.

Not a single dry eye across the yard,

we face the shocking sooth.


Questions were asked but none was solved, saw the light escape many eyes,

All that’s left was grief.

For the big and small, for the fragile and strong, for the friends and foes,

We come together in disbelief,

No boundary as we embrace, as we try to comprehend.

To comprehend, to understand, to…

Impossible, minds were filled with thoughts,

Tangled in a thousand knots.

Nothing but chaos.


When the fog thinned out, there is no doubt,

We remembered what you said.

Ginger ale to replace the beer,

Keep a leveled head.

Together we cheer,

With the ginger ale, to you and all you’ve done


Till this day, I cannot say,

I have truly face reality.

For in my mind, you went away

In a vacation blissed and free.


I will wait, till that date,

When I have the chance.

But till then, we celebrate,

With bottles of ginger ale.

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cracked mask


mask cracked.. tear spills out.
sudden shock as world turns real..
flash as wave of substance washes out..
echo as awareness of reality bounces back..
reminds me that you are leaving me..
hearts once met paths now taken in other directions
still a friend to me..
memory carried
coloring everyday
with lessons learned from
our meeting and divide..
mask carried to speak to a blind world
cracks as shape of society
falls away in the dust..
only my own voice to
be spoken
only own actions to be
carried out..
hands await the embrace
of a body
they are already destined to touch..
but today
i watch mask crack
and fall away

Author's Notes/Comments: 

we all wear masks.. painted on with loving grace.. in the shape of fangs that hide our tears

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Seeds Of The Maggot Garden


Over the remains of the dead, he found himself standing, still gripping the pistol in his sweaty, clammy hand. Down his forehead, the summer's dew ran; falling fast from his face, as though to rest with the nameless that lie at his feet. what remained of his friends, stood, gazing on in confusion, as they fought within, to gain their senses and purge themselves of the shock. Around them, the stench of the rotting began to grow. In the garden of the maggot flower, the living flesh became the seed from which the walking death would bloom.

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