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He is a sanguine man,

And an ardent fan,

Of mine,

A soul so fine.

 

Ever thankful he is,

His sky-like-heart doesn’t ever cease,

To appreciate the good,

In a disposition sparkling and multihued.

 

Such a person with a great heart is rare,

May God bless him ever and ever.

A new day, another

just like all the rest

except that as I lay my eyes upon it

I can see the sunrise with clouds just so,

hues that never quite existed before,

and I breathe a breeze

as new as the skin in which I stand,

although it still feels just like it always has

 

as far back as I can remember.  

 

............

who cares if there 

are flowers on my corpse 

if I'm dead?

if love is your intent

then bring me

some good memories

and things you learned 

to make your life easier

and more worth living.

wrap it up in a rusted coffee can

from some dark alley where babies lie in dumpsters

and place it somewhere all can see and be comforted

that someone thought about them, and cared

about why their lives ended, and tried to understand

not to punish, but to prevent it.

 

give me life in my death,

and not sorrow for

what you forgot to do

or not do, to prevent 

yourself from being hurt

on the day I leave here.

funerals are for the ones who are left here,

because the only thing I intend 

to leave you after material possessions

are divied out,

is the same thing since the day 

I first looked in your eyes,

the gratitude for having shared moments together.

we have all been dying since the day we were born,

and if we arrive at our final resting place in peace,

and not at the hands of violence,

then we have been granted more than enough

to say we have been blessed.

I spend my days now thinking what a beautiful soul you are.

 

5:35 PM 8/4/2013 ©

inspired by http://www.postpoems.org/authors/huliganfish/poem/964713

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to live life within the virtue of hope,

much easier done, 

when there is no one to help you cope,

living every day 

under an umbrella of protection,

gives you no hope at all,

it just feeds a lack of introspection,

but fall into the darkness,

of being bound and blindfolded,

with a gun at your head,

not knowing if you'll survive,

hope rises from the depths 

of a soul meant to be here,

and when the trauma is healed,

you know you're meant to be alive,

like milk that is warmed,

with all the right stuff,

hope rose to the top,

and taught me hope, 

brings more than enough,

hold a grateful heart,

always conscience as your guide,

but if you face desperation,

make sure hope is at your side,

all in our lives,

happens to us for a good reason,

as long as you do your best,

your healing will find it's season.

 

 

 

 

5:57 PM 7/13/201 ©

 

.......................

 

 

I used to 

wonder how

people could 

be so happy.

 

then I

decided I

was going to

happy. 

 

and i

figured out 

that if I 

wanted to be

happy all 

the time 

I would

have to 

stop expecting

things from 

life. Just because

the bridge falls

doesn't mean

another one 

will be built,

or for that

matter, even 

needs to be

built. And I 

learned that,

and then the 

more i 

practiced it

the more i 

liked to

practice it,

and then I 

somehow

became

really happy, 

and contented

with things.

 

In fact I 

really don't 

even expect 

for you to

read this

poem, 

or not to

read

it.

 

tomorrow 

isn't promised

to anyone.

in fact 

there's 

 

 

4:41 AM 7/12/2013

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qbpaz-u5WIE

 

"oh, it was a horrible wrongdoing!

you should have been there,

the way he spoke to her, 

after all she had gone through,

it made everyone want to 

hang him...see him suffer good!

and what about the mother?

she was just as bad...

whacked out crack whore

too busy to even feed her own baby!

what should we do?

i say DEMAND an apology!

HANG the son-of-a-bitches,

but first make them suffer good!

why should we tolerate this crudity?

we ALL deserve an apology

at the very least! 

who do they think they are?

don't they realize we are human beings?

we are deserving of RESPECT!!

the way they spoke to us is just plain wrong!!

we can't let them think they can get away with this!"

 

****************************

 

i listen to the words 

of a small group of people

outside in the hallway

of the municipal court building 

whilst waiting patiently 

to pay my traffic ticket.

i am eavesdropping, yes,

one of the habits i have, 

mostly due to my joy for people-watching.

but in this case, 

also due to the fact that

i am upset with myself at the moment,

because one ticket in 12 years

has spurred me into a multi-faceted

voyage of self-introspection

that has now lasted for the past 3 weeks,

as getting tickets 

has always been my 

'personal summons' as well as 

the financial penalty it so kindly

lavishes on my ever-dwindling checking account.

 

as a means to briefly escape 

beating myself up for the past 3 weeks,

i take a short glimpse 

into a different outlook

on the moment,

as i indulge in my own 

little secret self-righteousness,

playing both judge and jury

on the indignant ones next to me in the hallway,

and reach an opinion of their complaints.

 

it goes like this:

first of all,lady, i don't know 

what happened here,

but have you read the sign on the building

that says 'municipal court'? 

that sort of means this is not a huge deal,

and the reason it isn't is because 

this town is full of people just like you,

who think we have nothing better to do here

except have 'group therapy' all freaking day long.

 

second of all, you with the demand sign 

and noose in your back pocket--

get a dam* grip on yourself,

before you die from your own mortification,

because it might come to your surprise,

that you aren't the first person in the world

to have someone call you out--

happens every day, you're just too self absorbed 

to notice when it happens around you to others,

and furthurmore, the entire thing about 

being a human being means that

nobody's flawless, so get over it, pal.

 

thirdly, not to make this a family gathering,

but all of your mothers must have 

had one too many, the night before she 

packed your 'social skills survival kit',

because she obviously forgot to tell you

that respect is a two way street,

and it doesn't happen just because 

somebody did something wrong to you,

it's something you create with others,

and most times you create more of it for yourself

through your example of being it, 

than you ever could with demands--

that's just the way it works.

so if you're saying you need an apology to 

act like a decent respectful human being,

shame on you, i am embarrassed to 

share the species with you, little miss perfect---

 

---and now I have to take a recess 

because they just called my name!!

 

as i walk towards the door, 

one of the women in the group

taps me on the arm. she holds in her hand two 

shiny pennies, and looks up at me

saying, 'did you drop this'?

i look at her and can't help smiling a little,

'no, honey, i gave my two cents, that's for you'. 

with a puzzled look on her face, i make 

my way past and into the courtroom.

 

never did have to pay for that ticket.

turns out, the first ticket is considered 

a second chance here... love it!

 

Court Is Adjourned!!

 

 

12:43 AM 7/2/2013 

The sweetest note just came to me.

From a friend who muses off of me.

He said he was proud after watching me.

As I read an ode to our friend Kenny.

Following with a fairy tale,

to the little girl in the corner booth.

He said it filled his heart with love.

Watching me as I gave my love.

He called me a fantastic woman, 

It brought a tear into my eye.

The honor that he just gave me, 

was a little bit hard for me to receive.

I don't know why its hard to hear praise.

Self doubt always seems to get in the way.

Nevertheless it made me feel good.

As I'm happy to touch a soul or two.

The little girl, I had inspired.

She wrote her own story with a couple of letters.

Then she read what she wrote to me.

It was quite an elaborate fairy tale story.

Only she could read the words.

Adults had tried but couldn't decipher,

For they lived within her 4 yr old mind.

Couldn't read or write but she could see the lines.

Its a joy to see a soul inspired to be creative at any age.

I'm grateful for these interactions, they are a beautiful exchange.

I watch them in the park,

The Lucky Ones.

Whose parents hug them tightly,

and wipe faces with thumbs.

I am jealous of them all,

with their happy little smile.

I wish that I could take their place,

and have them be me for a while.

I watch aghast as they get angry,

staring dumbfounded as they scream.

"I hate you, Mommy. Go away!"

all over being denied ice cream.

I wince inside myself,

braced for their punishment they'll get.

But it never comes done,

nothing like the pain I've met.

I watch as they cry,

screaming I don't want Burger King.

I wait for them to be hit,

smacked or kicked... SOMETHING!

But it never does,

and I feel sick inside.

Why does their happiness grow,

as mine slowly died.

I love to watch them be dragged away,

finally treated like me.

All the while complaining

and saying stop I have to pee.

Then they disobey again,

and run off towards the swings.

Slipping away from their parents

and jumping off of things.

Then finally they get caught

and I watch them cry.

Their parents pick them up

saying tell your friend goodbye.

They bound over and hug me

I squeeze back a little too tight.

Wishing all over again

that I could be them for one night.

Too have mommy hug me

and daddy shower me with love.

Bedtime stories and warm cookies

for their little dove.

But instead I must go home

to face my papa's fists.

While momma drinks to ignore my cries,

and cigarette smoke settles in like mist.

Then I wish anew and once again

that I was like other daughter's and sons.

That daddy and mommy would change,

But i guess that's just for the Lucky Ones.

Attitude of Gratitude

 

I look around at western society
And the existence of quality
We are tricked into thinking
By on purpose disconnecting
From the real spirit inside
When connected, feels so alive

 

Check the kids out on the cover
(picture of poor kids in Laos)
So happy and so is his brother
Even though they have no toys
Or shoes, live life with joy
Have every reason to complain
On face value loads of suffering

 

But when you look closely at
Their lives, examine the facts
They have it better than us
In so very many directions
Deep down they know it too
Cos their soul is smiling on you

 

They live in amazing country
With all mother natures beauty
No pollution hits their lungs
Their life only just begun
No toxins in their food too
They lead a cleaner life than you

 

They got no toys, no bike too
But I’m betting fitter than you
They don't have chairs as well
Squatting for hours, not hell
And walking for an hour to school
Fitter than your kids too

 

That’s not hard, welded to a pc
Or a computer game probably
Sat on a comfy seat for hours
With no fresh air in their lungs
These kids dont have electricity
Don’t need it either; or a TV

 

Our DNA only regenerates when
It’s in a state of bliss: Heaven
When your vibrating at high frequency
This insulates you definitely
But about your DNA: No way
Regenerates unless bliss in your day

 

The kids in Laos life is simple
And to them, western life so mental
Though some in the east look west
Our quality of life to behest
If they realised they had it so good
They wouldn't look to our hood

 

And people in the west may think
Such a simple life does stink
Where’s your wide screen TV?
Everything else run on electricity
Everything designed to steal your energy
Much healthier life in the country

 

Thank your god for small mercies
That you have all that you need
Be grateful for what you got
And if your miserable please stop
The kids in the picture, every reason
To me miserable in all seasons

 

But the smiles say it all, free too
Wonder what one will look like on you
go on, try a smile right now
And to sadness please don’t cow tow
Be grateful, and also get humble
And about your life please don’t grumble

 

If you do I have no sympathy
Unless its cancer or ill terminally
Or your kin’s died for no reason
Then to be sad, it’s the season
Be happy quick they do not die
Waiting to see you in the next life