mom

My Life Would Be So Much Better

My life would be so much better if you hadn't become sick and died.

You were a wonderful person because love was what you supplied.

My life would be so much better if you had gotten well.

But you died in the hospital and life became pure hell.

My life would be so much better if you were still around.

I wish I could still hear your voice because it was such a beautiful sound.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to Agnes Johnson (1948-2013) who passed away on March 6, 2013.

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*Back Then*

Trisha M. Barrek.Hopkins
March-15-1994/June-12-2013
Dedicated to my mother Christine Barrek
I love you mom

 

I remember Back then 
When i was a kid
The memories i hold
On everything i did
And the stories my mommy told

Tucking me into bed
Saying sweet dreams love you and don't let the bed bugs bite
Then before leaving the room 
She'd kiss me on my forehead
And i'd reply with "love you and good-night
And before i knew it my dream went into flight

In the morning I'd wake 
To the aroma of blueberry pancakes
That only took a little time to bake
As i hold onto my napkin
I watch as my mommy pours the syrup
I take a sip of my juice
From my favorite cup

Asking to be excused to go get dressed 
Stopping half way to look at the glisten on the snow
I then go to change the jammies i messed
being messy is not good that i know

Boy to remember everything Back then 
Brings goosebumps to my skin
I some times wish i was a kid again
The memories rush back to me when i look at the picture
Held up with a pin
The one you gave me Back Then...

(June-12-2013)

But that was back then
Now all i have is the memory
I try to think of my past 
And begin to forget when 
The last time we were close
And miss the way my mother was
And the morning aroma under my nose

Now my mother's soul is lost
And my memories are only stuck in the past
She is fighting with herself to live
I wont let my mother lose this fight at any cost 
Her husband is the demon 
Within her head
Her spirit is gone
He is the whole freakin reason
Why she is not trying
Afraid every night when she goes to bed
That one night she will give up on living
The next day she won't be alive 
And that morning I will find her dead

I love my mother with all my heart
I cant even talk to my best friend
Because he forces her to tell him what I've said
In the past few years we grown apart 
I want my mother there when i am wed
But that Subject On that I wont try to start

Because i cant trust her anymore 
I pray to the lord to protect her with all his might
To keep her safe and out of harms way
Keep her in my children s sight
Let her live another day
Back then is what i can only remember
Its the only thing i can store

I don't want to see my mommy this way
It hurts me so damn much
I wish there was something i could do
To bring the Back then
I want to feel my mothers loving touch
All i ask god please don't let her life end
Because there's still memories to be made
Get her away from the devil that keeps her trapped
The one who controls her like a puppet
Help her before her soul goes completely Dark
Dont let her soul start to fade
And she loses all spark
Before the blackness kidnaps 
The only strength she has to live
Is the company of my daughter(s)
I want her to share Back Thens with her grandchildren
Let my mother show them shes strong and smart
This devil let her see she can get away 
Help her believe she can win
And from this prison she doesn't have to stay

Copyright

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I'm Sorry

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

I was once your baby girl.

Little and innocent,

You were ready to give me

the whole world.

 

But then I changed 

from kid to teen,

and I wasn't the same 

as I was once before.

 

I hurt myself because 

it makes me feel better,

putting the hurt on my skin

instead of inside my heart.

 

I'm sorry i've become

the kind of daughter you

don't want, never wanted.

 

I'm not innocent anymore,

I'm not your baby girl anymore....

I'm nothing good anymore..

 

I'm Sorry.

 

 

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Womb

It was forty-three years ago today when I left your womb.

Your death has brought about tears, despair and gloom.

Usually pregnancies last nine months but you had a longer wait.

You carried me for ten months, I was a month late.

From the day I was born until the day you died, we shared a special bond.

You were always there for me and I'm still unhappy because you're gone.

You didn't deserve to suffer the way you did, what a horrible fate.

The doctors did all they could but you went to the hospital too late.

I didn't know what I had until I lost it and I lost you too soon.

It was forty-three years ago today when I left your womb.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to Agnes Johnson (1948-2013) who gave birth to me 43 years ago today.

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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

When I was young my mom, like most women, donned a hat when she went out.

They say this tradition originated in the Bible...and who am I to doubt?

 

My mom had a collection of hats she stored in boxes under her bed.

So many different kinds of bonnets to sit atop her head.

 

Moms of today are different they go out with their heads bare

But one thing they share with Moms of the past are the many hats they wear.

 

If we tried to count the hats they don...we couldn’t...they go on indefinitely

Perhaps one way to approach it...would be alphabetically.

 

Moms are Accountants, Babysitters, Chauffeurs...They do what Doctors, and Electricians do

They are Farmers, Governors, Housekeepers, and Ice cream makers too.

 

They are Janitors, Kitchen and Laundry workers, and Maids who clean the floor.

They are Nurses, Optometrists, Painters and Quality control inspectors at the store.

 

They are Receptionists, Seamstresses, and Teachers...they can Upholster that sofa or chair

They are Valets, Washroom Attendants and X-Ray technicians...they show up anytime and anywhere.

 

They are Yard engineers and any Mom I know is also a keeper of the Zoo

That’s 26 different hats they wear...26 different jobs that all Moms do.

 

Moms are the original and still the best multi-taskers the world has ever met.

In fact, I didn’t run out of hats for them...I ran out of alphabet.

 

I guess it’s a good thing each job doesn’t have a hat that sits atop Moms head

For there wouldn’t be enough room to store them in boxes under their beds.

 

They are visionaries, they are cheerleaders, so much of our existence they adorn

Yet they had no experience as a mother until their own children were born.

 

Because it was at that miraculous moment, not in any Epistle, Gospel or psalm

When they smiled at their baby and realized for the first time......’I’m a a Mom.’

 

For that is the hat that encompasses the rest...the hat we call motherhood

And I must admit, if I say so myself, you Moms make that hat look good.

 

So Moms, here’s to a wonderful Mother’s Day as this poem bids you all adieu

 

For all the many hats you wear...our hats are off to you.

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First class ticket to Heaven

Mom got a First class ticket to Heaven, that's for sure.

Everybody who knew my mom, absolutely adored her.

She always helped others or she would bust her butt trying.

It was so sad when her doctor said that she was dying.

 

Now she's in Heaven and she has eternal happiness.

Having her for my mother truly made me blessed.

She decided to return to her hometown of Sneedville in 2011.

When she passed away, she got a First class ticket to Heaven.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to Agnes Johnson (1948-2013) who passed away on March 6, 2013.

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Over the Moon

If you could've been saved, I would've been over the moon.

But you died and you were taken far too soon.

You had to have a hysterectomy and your left leg amputated.

You were in so much pain, it was something that I truly hated.

 

My brother and I had to end your pain by taking you off the respirator.

If I would've had a choice, I would've rather wrestled with an alligator.

When you died, I came home and licked my wounds.

If you could've been saved, I would've been over the moon.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to Agnes Johnson (1948-2013) who passed away on March 6, 2013.

365 days of Hell

Things haven't been going well since Mom died one year ago today.

A big part of me died with her when she passed away.

For the last 365 days, I've been going through Hell.

Everybody who knows me, knows that things aren't going well.

 

One day before Mom's death, there were two things that I decided to give her.

A stuffed Easter bunny and a card and they were buried with her.

Life hasn't been easy because I've been to Hell and back.

I would've rather suffered a severe heart attack.

 

I've experienced a year's worth of misery and tears.

Life has been pretty bad since March of last year.

I hope that I never have to experience this kind of pain again.

I'll never forget Mom even if I live to be a hundred and ten.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to Agnes Johnson who died one year ago today at the age of sixty-four.

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The Unconditional Mother

I am the Earth beneath your feet,
And the seed nestled betwixt them.
I am the rain to guide the seed to fruition,
And the sprout that bursts upon the meadow.
From sprout, to sapling, to bark, to birch,
I am every twig and leaf that falls to Earth.
You come with ax and now I'm timber,
To the mill and then ship builder.
I was the cotton in the field,
But now I am cloth for your sail.
I am the ocean you take to distant lands,
And the wind you catch within your sails.
I am the Earth, you are my leech,
But I am here for you, whenever you need.