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To Paddle One's Canoe Over Still Waters (A Poem About Fictitious Love Stories)
To Paddle One's Canoe Over Still Waters
Seeming storylines are child's play
Appearing to you like 'tis
something funny
Out of our little trembling political
situation
If only stars are the silent majority
They must twinkle—endlessly, without a noise
No matter how far we are,
theoretically
The light year spanned space-time
to have brought
me to you
—wondering, now, if vice versa is
also
true
In a sense of delight that had made
young lovers swoon
'Tis a mother's loving caress to a
newborn
A perfect love of Astrological
compatibility
And forever they will
choose to share lovingkindness
—to each other & for others.
—
As well.
when it comes to you.
fearful of making the same mistakes
though I am more than likely to
because there are things I'd like to ask
and as easy as those questions come
it is hard when they come to you
you weren't just a holiday or vacation
though you share the sentiment of one
because you are every day and every night
and you are the ache in between my giggles
my disorientation when the night greets the sun
there were a handful of faces to pick apart
though only yours really came into view
because you had the nerve to confront my absurdities
and much of that I needed to hear
most of what you had to say about me was true
to make your eyes illuminate is a wish
though I am unsure of what my efforts would transpire
because the closer I hope to get
and the further things trail away
I am surely only causing your will to tire
fearful of making the same mistakes
though I am more than likely to
because there are things I'd like to ask
and as easy as those questions come
it is hard when they come to you
If I Was Like a Little Sister to You, Why Didn't You Protect Me?
If I clung too tightly
to a hand that wasn't necessarily mine to hold
know that I took the accidental brushing of knuckles on that summer walk deeper than the world is old
and when you told me that you didn't feel quite right and I said I felt that way too
as sorry as I was to hear that you're scribbled I felt less inside myself to share the vision of eskewed
Then I told you about the things I did to myself
the way I coped with my head things and where I put myself in attempt to feel anything other than "sad"
You took it so lightly
I explained how I never learned to touch myself gently
how I always picked at the scabs
You smiled and kissed my forehead and reassured me that I was just a child and things weren't always going to be so bad
If I breathed too heavily
against your neck that wasn't necessarily mine to exhale against
know that I mistook my festering attachment and comfort in you as a motive to scratch my nails down your back
and when you let it go just far enough for me to believe that I was anything other than your system to repair
I was horrified to have been so invested in you that I fell more inside myself and rested heavily on the concept of killing myself and becoming something new
Then I told you about the plans I had for myself
the way I reacted to your swatting at my hand and the impersonal affection you convinced me that was "only mine to have"
You took it so lightly
I explained how I never learned to touch myself gently
how I had begun to run out of scabs
You made no expression and half-heartedly reassured me that I was just a child and things weren't always going to be so bad
An Expression Of Love
I am gravely sorry
That you hold pain within you.
We share love,
Whether you choose to accept it
In your reality or not.
I am empathetic towards your pain.
I am not a psychiatrist.
I am not a psychologist.
I do not know how to control your delusions,
Only you know how to do that.
I do know this.
When you can clearly see,
That keeping your mouth shut,
Instead of opening it,
Is hurting far more people
Than it is helping...
...it's time to open your damn mouth.
05/19/2013 10:04 AM ©
IF I Depend Upon You
If you attach yourself to me
I no longer exist
If I depend upon you
You dissolve
If I expect you to provide for me
I diminish your capacity for liberty
If you hold an idea of what I should be
I am drowned in a sea of make-believe
If you desire anything from me
I cease to be
If I call upon you to relieve my anxiety
I fail not only you but me
If I cannot stand apart from you
I can in no way stand beside you
If we acknowledge sacred unity
Without sin of embroiled restriction
We are free to embrace love
Unencumbered and unrefined
Sensually uninhibited as it is meant to be
Paula Andrea Pyle, MA 2011(c)