Struggles

Challenging Times

We live in challenging times but I've learned to not take it personally. We owe it to ourselves to cut us a break once in a while. We may not always live up to our ideals and we might not be where we want to be in life but that's no reason to feel bad about oneself. We live in challenging times and we should allow ourselves to struggle without letting guilt or shame take the wheel. I can make mistakes and not be defined by them. I can have shortcomings but not let them drown out my strengths. I think a lot of us are looking around and feeling scared and confused and that's okay. With all that is happening in the world perhaps that is how we should feel. I just think that we have to make a real effort to feel some of those good things too. 

I used to have a fear that I would grow up to be old and bitter. I felt this way because I wasn't successful at a lot of things and worried that I would be loser. But that guy you know who's bitter he has people who loves him. He may not always be able to express it but there is love and acceptance in his life. I'm thankful to have a family that would still love me no matter how bitter or resentful I may or may not become. A family that supports me and cares for me.

And I've made mistakes. I've made enough mistakes to be that bitter resentful guy. But I choose not to because I could've made more mistakes. It could've gone worse for me certainly. I have to take stock of what I do have and appreciate it. I have to let myself appreciate all the good that is right there in my life already.

The outside world is harsh and only getting harder. But please, do all you can to let your mind be a nice place to be. No pressure if it's not right now there's time. You deserve to have some inner peace and clarity. You deserve to know that your worth it.

 

It's Late And I Need To Go To Sleep

Folder: 
Villanelles

It's late and I need to go to sleep.
'Twas giving myself fake expectations
For the light of the moon does creep.

 

There isn't a secret I should keep
That would, in advance, cause excitations.
It's late and I need to go to sleep.

 

Wait! There are musical notes I should leap
Across the beats and instrumentations,
For the light of the moon does creep.

 

Do I have the energy I should reap
For holding mixtapes in glorifications?
It's late and I need to go to sleep.

 

There are lyrics and samples much too deep
For this outsider musicfag in great notations,
For the light of the moon does creep.

 

Pity. Another night lost in the jeep
Of creative ideas, going in vibrations.
It's late and I need to go to sleep
For the light of the moon does creep.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is made on the fly right before I'm going to bed. Plus, this is the first poem I'm posting on Postpoems.org . Isn't that exciting?

My Flame

 

 
My Brokenness hurts in new ways in each season of my life
Some more painful to go through than others
Sometimes you're not the only one affected either
His Truth remains the same,
His fire burns; His Flame.
 
In the rest of His arms my soul seeks,
Yet my sin and body meek, 
To the one who destroys,
and employs destruction,
The magnet to my heart so sweet,
Yet my falls induction. 
 
A spiral I see but to the Lord He smiles for He knows the blows only brings me closer; His trials
In the hope I see, an end to the trend of my slippery slope,
Yet that end isn't near but I can hear, what is that?
 
Ah yes, His truth remains the same, His fire burns; his flame. 
 
The Lord accepts me in my failures, the precepts He gives He tailors, 
For me. 
I see it, but still fail, 
I hit the trail and run. I try and catch up to You but still I stumble, I mumble, I groan, my feet fail me
It's time to give up. I give up. I give up
 
I trust in You, but still I try to live up, drink from Your cup I try. I try, I try, 
Yet I still die, and why?
 
Ah yes, don't forget! His truth remains the same. His fire burns; His flame! 
 
But Lord it hurts, it's painful, I don't like it but I need it. 
I love it, but I hate it. 
It's growing on me now, I see it.
 
Oh lord how beautiful You are, 
And how I thought you were so far, but no! 
You're right here, You've always been here! 
 
What's this? You're handing me a mirror so that I can see myself? 
But Lord, let me just gaze upon You,
Let me see you just for another se- wha', where's my filth? 
I'm white as snow.. Wait God, where did you go? I need You! 
 
[God] " Son, don't be afraid for I am here with you.
 Remember, my Truth remains the same, 
my Holy Fire burns, it is My Flame! 
 
It destroys you, yet frees you.
Though your feet may fail you,
My love never fails
 
I took the sin of the world and put it upon my Son as a sacrifice,
The only thing that would suffice
He paid the highest price.
 
He died and rose again,
Now you are made clean in my sight, 
My love for you, made complete." 
 
[me] 
 
God, I praise you,
I give you my everything 
May my life represent the goodness of your love in my life.
 
May my lips sing of your praises forever and ever. AMEN! 
 
[pause]
 
Entering this rest....Was this life a test?
No,no
A blessing, that will have me forever confessing the goodness of my Lord,
My Savior, my King, my Father, my Sword.
 
I am His son, for whom He loves and will never be forgotten.
He is here with me.
His Fire burns bright, and His Flame sustains me, from within me. 
 
Thank you, Lord. 
 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this in the midst of my complete brokenness dealing with a struggle of mine. It shown my struggle of going back and forth and then the way it's written shows the anxiety and distraction i have during it. also, at the end is the hope in which I can gaze upon God freed of my pain and basking in His beauty, changed all throughout because of it. 

Dragon Come, O Dragon Stay

Dragon come, O dragon stay.

To breathe misery throughout my day?

Leath'ry wings beat an angry torrent.

Casting upon me shame and torment.

Reminding myself of what I could be,

Yet blocking travel and foresight to see.

Fed from the lambs of inner dark turmoil.

Feasting, he lies on my path in a scaly coil. 

Smiling a fanged smile I so despise,

A human character beneath that serpentine guise. 

As if to say, "You shall not pass!"

Forever am I caught in the sands of his hourglass. 

 

Revolution is at hand my fellow foul beast.

For I have become greater than you to say the least. 

Block my progress? Nay, I think not!

I'll have your guts for garters you dwindling snot!

Your scales for mail, your teeth for spears!

I'll have your flesh on my plate for years and years!

Your hide will be great and grant quite a show,

Donned as a cape against the rain and snow.

Begone, with your ramblings and traitorous wile!

My feet on my path I'll trek with a smile.

 

Hands raised to the heavens, boots stamping on the hells.

Parading to the reverberating of victory bells. 

Sword in hand and shield on my arm,

To this grand creature I'll bring such great harm!

Begone, foul beast! Move your ass!

This is no time for courtesies nor class. 

For adventure must be had and my mettle assayed,

I must quickly be on with this quest so delayed. 

Step you aside, horned devil of mine.

Clear from my way for now is the time!

Tally Ho! Tally Ho! Off we must go,

Unto the event horizon, Yo Ho!

 

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Substance

Folder: 
Just Thoughts....

You said you required it,  I thought I had found it.

You came full speed ahead, I was knock off my feet.

You said this is what love is, I knew it wasn't.

You said come and let me show you, I said whoa, hold up, to much, to soon.

You said you were looking for love and substance, I said I can give  you substance and love.

You said my way is the only way, I said a little of you, and a little of me, and a lot of HIM.

You said don't tell me how this should happen, I said don't worry, I won't have to.

You said when I pray, pray for my job, I prayed, but I prayed HIS will....

 

 

 

 

 

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tags:

Tedious Is Just A Vehicle

 

..

The mountain is high,

But i see beyond it.

 

The road is long, 

But it's winding turns have many sights.

 

The bridge is narrow,

But the view is vast and far reaching

Into wherever i choose to wander,

And whatever i choose to learn.

 

A new enlightenment,

A better road,

A wider bridge,

A higher mountain,

And a more giving heart.

 

 

....

 

 

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Pure or Pain.

Life is a new experience for every one when your very audacious,

life doesn't promise you safe travels and warm places,

but what you choose and what happens to you is your very own fortuitous,

sift threw memories, problems, and worries but there is no races.

 

Luck and chances are two different things or ways you could choose,

destiny is what happens to you while your making other plans,

but your never gonna escape your fate, its what life chose for foes,

you could change life simply by choosing the right side, but some times your slow.

 

In the bad days of life I chose to be happy when I was shattered inside,

nothing to look forward to every day but for that one thing in life that matters,

every one clings to the thoughts or dreams of what they want in life that inclines,

I clung to my feelings that said keep up, no matter how bad your heart shatters.

 

If your ruining others lives why would your life be fixed by wanting it better,

change is in motion, but if you don't change whats wrong your never gonna be happy,

emotions and feelings get mixed up so much we can never tell them apart like a letter,

show others your kindness even when they treat you like nothing, makes them feel better.

 

No matter how bad you've been treated in life, you'll be blessed if you choose the right trail,

never be to weak to reach out to other cause of your life, it may seem your scared or frail,

always shine no matter how you get beaten down or drug across the ground in dreadful ways,

you will be highly praised showing your glory, you'll be remembered and never be left unpaid.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Lifes many ways and tears.

The Race

One in front, two behind.
Two in front, one behind.
Look back -
There are many behind.
As a team or individually?
How shall this race be won?
The longer I run,
The longer the race goes,
The longer the finish line is in sight.
The longer it is in sight,
The closer it may be.
O my mind! How it plays evil tricks!
The heat on my head,
My body, my hands, my legs.
O how my chest beats
With thy heart trapped in its cage.
How can I bear this pain any longer?
How much further must I run?
How many more obstacles must I pass?

 

Closer now I get,
Many more, yea, I hath passed.
One passed, one more to block the way.
One trouble gone, seems another has arrived.
A burden is rid, yet another takes its place.
The impatience grows inside me,
Yet the humbler I feel
As my feet hit the ground
One by one.
One by one is how the race is won.
One by one, each second is gone.
One by one, each step closer to the finish.
One by one, each obstacle is passed.
One by one, each round is done.

no regrets

 

............




who cares if there 

are flowers on my corpse 

if I'm dead?


if love is your intent

then bring me

some good memories

and things you learned 

to make your life easier

and more worth living.


wrap it up in a rusted coffee can

from some dark alley where babies lie in dumpsters

and place it somewhere all can see and be comforted

that someone thought about them, and cared

about why their lives ended, and tried to understand

not to punish, but to prevent it.

 

give me life in my death,

and not sorrow for

what you forgot to do

or not do, to prevent 

yourself from being hurt

on the day I leave here.


funerals are for the ones who are left here,

because the only thing I intend 

to leave you after material possessions

are divied out,

is the same thing since the day 

I first looked in your eyes,


the gratitude for having shared moments together.


we have all been dying since the day we were born,

and if we arrive at our final resting place in peace,

and not at the hands of violence,

then we have been granted more than enough

to say we have been blessed.

I spend my days now thinking what a beautiful soul you are.






 

5:35 PM 8/4/2013 ©


inspired by http://www.postpoems.org/authors/huliganfish/poem/964713

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