truth

Untitled (A Short Story)

 

The back end of the tavern was pretty crowded that night, which meant that the bartender was being extra particular about who he gave his attention to. I’d been standing on the far corner towards the stage - the only part of the entire stretch that wasn’t mobbed by people - and waited patiently for an opening to flag down a drink. We were in between sets, and some other local act was currently assembling themselves beneath the shoddy spotlights. Their setup was as elaborate any other, with broad panels of wood adorned with as many as a dozen different guitar pedals placed firmly in front of their feet.

 

 

At a quick glance, I raised a finger to the passing bartender and ordered a cheap draft and a shot of whiskey. As he departed, a young guy stumbled toward the bar and threw his weight against it, sprawling forward with his arms draped over the back of the counter. He steadied himself and straightened, coming to relax on his elbows and placing himself on the stool to his right, as if he’d been sitting that way along. I couldn’t help but chuckle, and struggled to do so under my breath. He had long, ratty dreadlocks that held a color somewhere between brown and black. Everything about him looked sort of dirty and sketchy, but his grin also made it clear that he was having a blissfully good time.

 

 

He seemed like he was contemplating ordering a drink, but couldn’t quite get himself to move forward and do so. I sat there watching him absently, waiting on my own drinks to arrive. He turned towards me, his head bobbing, and he spoke to me as if he knew me. He had a name for me and everything.

 

 

Tom! Tom… Sorry, I didn’t notice you there for a second.” He said, lucidly, his eyes opening and closing. He turned his stool towards me and placed one hand on his leg, leaning forward and looking at me very intently.

 

 

Do you wanna know what I’ve noticed, Tom? Everybody here… Around here, I mean… Keeps talking about, like, what’s right; what the right thing to do is. And… They all have different ideas… About what it is, you know? What the right answer is. For everything.” He spoke soberly, despite his dazed expression and half-lit eyes. He turned to his right and slapped the counter top repeatedly,

 

 

Drink, barkeep! Drink! Please, a drink! A Budweiser! Please!” He shouted. His voice cut through the noisy chatter surrounding us, and several people fell silent and stared at him. He paid no one any mind, least of all me, or “Tom”, and continued his diatribe with renewed vigor:

 

It fucking… It blows my mind! How can everyone think that they’re right, and EVERYBODY ELSE IS WRONG? … How … I mean, really, man… Where did all of their mirrors go? Right?” His eyes widened as he spoke. To our mutual surprise, the bartender rose above the counter and brought down a Budweiser hard onto the counter top. The noise stirred the young man forward and he brought up the bottle for a quick swig, his wide grin returning as he swallowed. He stared at the floor momentarily, took another drink, and placed it back on the bar. His look of fierce concentration returned.

 

 

I’m not gonna sit here, and… You know, tell YOU that I know everything there is to know. I’m not stupid, like that, you know? I’m not. But THESE fucking people, right? Just… All of these fucking jokers that… That wanna be on top so bad, making all of the rules… And, like… Deciding what’s MORAL and shit. What’s THAT? We’re just supposed to… ” He pauses momentarily, and then raises the bottle to his lips once before going on:

 

 

We’re supposed to let them dictate whatever they want? Try to set their… Their bull shit in stone so that the rest of the world’s more like THEM?”

 

 

He slammed his bottle back down onto the bar. His face fell, and he drooped his head forward, looking exasperated and tired. I waited for another escalation, but he at last seemed content with being quiet. My drinks had long since been sat in front of me, and I took hold of the whiskey and downed it quickly, chasing it with a small sip of my own beer. Young dreadlocks sat motionless, looking tragic and downcast. I couldn’t help but feel for him, despite his strangeness and obvious intoxication. Why not engage an interesting stranger?

 

 

I don’t think there’s too much to worry about. Don’t you think that there are decent people in this world? Ones who will influence others by example, instead of force?” I asked him, wondering if my voice might make him aware of the fact that I am not Tom.

 

 

He turned and raised his head level with mine, all of the vacancy leaving his face, and he spoke with a sad, but deliberate tone:

 

 

I do think that… But, I … I don’t think they’re ever going to be loud enough to stand out. You know, Tom? Like… They’ll always be there… They’ll always be shouting too, but… They’ll never drown out the people who, just… THINK they’re right.”

 

 

And with that, he took his beer, turned away from me and walked, on unstable footing toward the surging crowd, disappearing between the many dancing bodies.

 

Part of me wanted to laugh, and I did, a little bit. I took another short, meaningless little drink of my cheap, bitter, sour-as-shit draft beer and stared across the way at all of the lights, all of the glittering glass, all of the reaching arms and trickling liquids across the length of the bar. Feeling sobered and unhappy, I stared at nothing, hoping to catch no eyes, no attention.

 

 

I took another drink; longer this time. More to be had. It was starting to get a little warm, but still, it was refreshing. Another one, and make it good.

 

 

Once more. And at this point, we might as well finish the job.

 

 

What’s there to do now but go into the crowd as well.

 

View sivus's Full Portfolio

Poesy

 

 

...........

 

and this thing called poetry, 


plucked from a pocket 


of space and time.


*


a blindly adorned subtlety


flowing from the wings 


of angels' thoughts unthought,


but with sultry desire.


*


a rhythmic taste 


of word salad


that fumbles all 


too easily and too often


from the lips of poets that choke 


on the salty aftertaste of


frivolous candor,


with a raucous brouhaha


likened to a howl 


from the maw 


of a wild banshee.


*

 

untamed and yet,


so wildly untainted


in the heat 


of  it's innocent discourse


that one can only 


breathe deeply,


the sensation of the moment,


and know how it feels to 


wear the cloak of truth.

 

*

 

4:03 AM 8/11/2013 ©


.................


Confessions volume 1

Folder: 
hurt

This is a bunch of things iv needed to get off my chest for the last year haha some less exciting than others sorry!

I am bisexual.
I still cut myself.
From the time I was 3 to when I was 10 my dad let his friends touch me.
I REALLY don't like my mom or dad. 
I think I have a crush on my best friend.
There's a guy around where I live who's 18 and me and him have messed around a few times.
I cheated on my Algabra 1 final (sorry Ham!)
I'm an amazing sketcher (I don't know if that's a word or not but shhh our lil secret right?) 
I'm obsessed with black veil brides, pierce the veil, sleeping with sirens, and bring me the horizon.
I try to act like someone I'm not..
I have a weird twitch. I blink Alot.
I hate my life. 
I'm a nerd! Iv read like 20 something books this summer!
I don't know if I wanna keep telling you things. 
I'm running out of things to say so il just tell you some good lyrics for a while!
 "YOUR NOT ALONE THERE IS MORE TO THIS I KNOOOOOWWW! YOU CAN MAKE IT OUT THERE IS MORE TO TELL"
(if you know what song that is I'm going to marry you!)
I don't think im pretty even though people keep telling me I am.
I wish I could dig a big hole and just lay in it and listen to music all my life.
I'm scared to grow up.
I don't want to end up like my mom a washed up 30 year old living with her mom with two kids and one who lives with her aunt.
Im scared of marrying someone like my dad who let's bad thing happen to his children and then deny it when their old enough to fight back and say that the baby led it on.
I'm afraid of storms and being alone.
I don't have a lot of female friends.
Sometimes I sit and think what it would be like if I was someone elses kid or maybe if I stood up for myself more and didn't please people.
I'm jealous of my once best friend Jill because of how self confident she is and how she dosnt let anyone tell her what to do.
Ive made myself throw up a few times..
I wish I could sing like REALLY sing you know?
I want to be a therapist.
Im an atheist.
My 16th birthday I'm getting "darlin youl be okay" tattoed on my back. (again if you know what song this is from I'm marrying you!) 
I think snake bites are the sexiest thing on earth. Besides tattoos of corse.
I'm jail bait. At Warped tour I had like ten guys older than 20 ask for my number... I'm 14!
I really want to be able to be myself infront of people other than my family.
Im scared to get to close to people so I push them away. 
Have I lost anybody yet? Probably so well if not I love you guys who are reading this still!!
I can't keep ahold of bobbie pins to save my life!
For a while I was considering dying my hair brown but decided I look good blonde.
I'm a closet stress eater. But I tend to eat Alot then feel fat ad throw it back up.
No body I know personally knows I like to write so I can post this and be safe. Hopefully. And if not well hi guys!! 
I really hope no one judges me after readin this!
Well that's all for now...
I love you bye!!
Anybody who has questions email me at hchen99@ymail.com I'd love to chat with ya!

View angelic's Full Portfolio
tags:

skilled verbiage

 

 

..........

 

 

a beggar's 

 

poor choice

 

rolls him 

 

gently from 

 

curb to 

 

gutter

 

as the wealthy

 

roll over

 

in interest.

 

*

 

cutting words

 

spoken with 

 

compassion

 

like an ice pic,

 

hold the gentle,

 

subtle power,

 

to leave cracks 

 

like fault lines

 

in ignorance

 

left from

 

frigid,

 

ancestral

 

insights.

 

 

 

 

5:23 AM 8/4/2013 ©

 

 

 

 

....

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 
View nightlight1220's Full Portfolio

Beyond

 

 

............

 

l o v e



a pithy,


four letter word,


that conquers,


even what it means,


"to be, or not to be"


*


07-30-2013


©


.........

Author's Notes/Comments: 

*love*

View nightlight1220's Full Portfolio
tags:

The river

am I nothing but broken bones? is this beating heart nothing but a burden to myself & everyone I meet..?
as I walk through this valley alone..

the shadows become something i've well known.
your eyes, they magnetize.. the fear in my soul is screaming out "lies!"
where should I try to hide..?

the clouds hang above, as the river i'm crossing over continues to flow..
if I were to fall, would anyone ever know? slipping away from it all, even myself..
glancing at these hands, I wonder what would be different if I was somebody else..

 

this forest goes farther than the birds & the trees..
this grass grows taller than below our knees..
my fate is an open wound.. bleeding.. bruised.. cut & used..
where am I going..? what am I to do..?
too many questions within me.. are we all our own worst enemy..?
on the top of this hill, the sunrise & fall reminds me of Gods undying love..
every memory that follows behind is purpose-less..
how could you think you know me better than I know myself?
every word you spew is worthless..

 

dreams are like looking through stained glass..

all different shapes, colors, hues..
why would you want to watch them shatter.. how could it not matter!?
one thing to remember.. don't give your love away, for the sake of saving someone else...

 

path after path, turn upon turn.. we struggle, maybe learn..
I stare into space & wait.. for something, i'll never know exactly what...
ashes have become of these fantasies..
careful not to let the blood of the past stain what is of my today..
dancing around the casualties.. murder my misery.

 

shed a tear for everything that used to be & let it all blow far over me.
if only we could all perfectly mend these wounds..
fragilties of life, scars of death..
the last time you close your eyes... that very last breath..

 

black night sky with stars so electric..
fragrant & soothing, my boat keeps moving..
row, row, drift away..
feet in the dirt but i'm being pulled astray..
the current so strong & winds full force.
the ocean is taking it's course..

 

beneath the misty swamp, stirs disarray..
where Satan's children go to play..
one by one, two by two.. sinking to the bottom.
he's a theif, can't you tell..?
reeking of that evil smell..
naive indeed as you let him feed..
you act as if life has turned you to this bad seed..
fool, you did it to yourself...
why blame someone else?

 

& finally I jump in the river to drown..
reaching out for my savior, not because i'm in danger..
I need to be taken from this earth.. I smile because i'm hurt...
when my feet hit the river floor, i'll close my eyes, & open the doors..
a light shone through, my hope for God was true...
I embrace... soon free... this body was never me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

7.26-7.27- 2013.

The Simple Truth

Folder: 
First

The simple truth, 

Is just stupid,
It is nonsense!

 

But, it works...

Somehow it does.

Today and tomorrow,

 

As time goes,

As it dwindles,

 As it stops,

 

And Man?

You ask?

"why then?"

 

"Is it simple?"

Stop asking questions!

That are not,

 

So very simple,

So very true,

And happily so...

 

We ask too much.

 

And are unworthy.

To know more,

Than what is.

 

So very simple,

And very elegant,

That it repeats,

 

It is more,

Than it's self,

More than twice.

 

Exactly trice,

But not more,

And not exact.

 

For it does brake.

It always does again.

 

Therefore it does,

But does it?

Do simply anything.

 

Random or not,

Quite simply put,

The simple truth.

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

comments?

View pav's Full Portfolio

truth conquers all

 

 

 

.................

 

days and nights meld into one,

the sun an moon spar for my attention,

9,10,11,12, they begin to merge and look the same,

life becomes deranged, monotonous,strange,

yet all needs miraculously see their place,

no race for me, a gentle hand guides my pace,

still time to smell the cool breezes that visit,

still joy that fills my heart with each smile so freely given,

a baby's breath upon my shoulder,

watching as all of life becomes one day older,

younger in newly inspired tones,

melodious sounds, like music roams

every cranny of space in my soul, 

rhythmic tides that flow in and out, 

like the bubbling caps of ocean foam,

encumbrances placed in my path 

become small, and me,

I become tall, 

and just have to smile inside at the fact

i have the strength to face it all.

 

 

3:26 PM 7/10/2013 ©

"Vincit omnia veritas"

..........................

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was inspired thinking about how when we live our truth, obstacles in our path may not dissapper, but they sure do get a whole lot smaller somehow.

just poetic

...................

 

 

and the words fell onto the page 

 

just as silently as he aged

 

a lost memory is regained

 

when the truth is revealed 

 

and the rains rain

 

 

everything happens in good time

 

life certainly has it's own way to rhyme

 

don't you wish you were still young

 

and could feel the pleasure of the past's rain upon your tongue?

 

 

how does it feel 

 

to live this lie?

 

knowing you'll carry this

 

til your final goodbye

 

 

 

 

8:38 AM 7/6/2013

 

 

©

 

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