sad

How Sad True Sadness

There was a sadness I revered,

But never possessed,

Because there was youth

And opportunity to spare,

 

But as life ebbs,

And opportunities recede,

I know that sadness for real,

And how sad true sadness feels.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

How Sad True Sadness possibly from 2015, although it has been subject to some editing since then, including a final edit, or so it is to be hoped, which took place on the 18th of January 2019.

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Thinking of You

When the sun fades away 

and the day turns into night

That's when I'll think of you

When the sky is dark 

And the moon is bright

I'll know it's you and

That's when I'll think of you

 

You were my strength

You were my inspiration

I'll never forget the day you saved my life

By showing me how to love without hesitation

You were always there for me

Whenever I felt alone

The way you would hold me

And comfort me with your soothing voice tone

 

When the rain drops fall

And there's no one beside me

That's when I'll think of you

When the snow covers the ground

And there's no one to guide me

That's when I'll think of you

 

Through out the years

You've given me laughter

You've given me tears

Through out my life you've given me hope

To go and start a new chapter

Always giving me love and support

By being my hero and taking away all my fears

 

So, whenever I'm missing you

I'll sit in the sun

I'll look up to the sky

If the moon is bright

I'll know it's you 

And that's when I'll be thinking of you

I'll stand in the rain

I'll walk in the snow

You'll forever be in my heart

And I'll always be thinking of you

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem is a heart felt, raw sense of style. It means more to me than most of anything I've ever written. It's for a special woman in my life who isn't doing so well and when I look at certain things or do certain things it makes me think of her

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tags:

The Odyssey

Folder: 
Love

Every tear I cried helped you sail farther away

Every breath I sighed filled your wings to fly

You mastered the wind and waves to leave me

You cried as the storms only pushed you along

 

And then You, that magnetizing, gravitating whirlpool

Leading men down to watery graves

Pulling the breath from many men's lips

And crushing them in your depths

 

It was difficult for me to lose you

I heard your siren's call

But I stuffed my ears and tied myself up

I knew you had nothing but death

 

Lastly to you, I won't say that there isn't beauty in your suffering

Only that those of us who can see it are pretty messed up

Trying desperately to find a silver lining in a thundercloud

A refreshing sea-breeze in a hurricane

 

Like the aurora borealis

Or the spritely fox-fire

You're a natural mystery

Filled with hidden meanings

 

My muses

My fates

My inspirations

I gave you all my everything

And you each of you left me wanting

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Dear Love, I Failed

Folder: 
Poor Me

I shut myself from the entire world
As i fall deeper in your love
High and low below the seas i travel to meet with you
Melt my sorrows in your eyes just to drink a minimum of your love
Try to interact with your world to shine it's kindness over me
But your heart was too busy to recognize my words
To your calls i come running just so you could spit onto my face
They tried to warn me but poor heart was too far dabbled in your waters
Poor did I tried to reason with the facts but reality was too obviously to be true.

Gavin Sebake ©10.24.2018

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tags:

Cold Embrace

Folder: 
Love
Filled with despair
“I'll meet you there”
Said to the phone
My heartbeat drones
To meet your love
And all thereof
To act, to show
So that they'll know
That we've moved on
(Our shared con)
All eyes assume
Within the room
But I just can't face
Your cold embrace
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Mists of Time

Folder: 
Light and Dark

“I had a child just like you”

She said to me that day

Waiting in the hospital

On my knees to pray

She didn't know who I was

Her mind just couldn't see

That I knew who she talked about

The child was truly me.

 

We'd had this converse once before

And many before that

The degradation of her mind

Was obvious, as she sat

And prattled on about her son

How happy he will be

With her family when she comes home

And I had to agree

 

She never found her memories

Or recognized my face

After everything she went through

She's in a better place

Where memories last forever

And can't be lost to time

Where human bodies don't break down

Always in their prime

 

Many years have come and gone

I can't recall them all

It's not like I haven't tried

But the thoughts just have a pall

I try to stare back to the past

Peer directly through the grime

Just like a fog covered my eyes

It's hard to see through mists of time

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Death of Infatuation

Folder: 
Light and Dark

I've never seen an angel bleed

Till I stood with knife in hand

I've never seen a devil cry

Till I looked once through it's eyes

 

You were my drug

Long before I acclimated

Long before withdrawal

I needed you to survive

 

I can feel your eyes on my back

Can't you hear me?

I'm silent on the outside

But screaming on the inside

I'm soul-lost

I can't find who I am anymore

 

Maybe I'll be fine

Perhaps I will survive

But I just don't know if

I can outlast your memory

 

If I lose myself in drugs and dreams

Or fly away to places and things

To fill the gap you left behind

Consuming body, soul, and mind

 

But there is no need

To conjure dreams

When life comes

In such radiant colors

 

They say Pandora is to blame

Her curiosity brought us pain

And fear of darkness in the night

But there was hope in candle-light

 

From the dark, a light will shine

Before the day, the night has gone

And now we know it burns so fine

That is why it's called, breaking dawn.

 

And maybe, just maybe

That which dies gives birth to something new

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Needs a better title

Thoughts On Life and Mortality

The ancients declared that all is meaningless

A chasing after the wind

 

The modernists claim that nothing is real

A consuming, constant dream

 

So what shall we say on our mortality;

What should we surmise of our souls?

 

We've all been screaming what we want to hear

And yet the truth quietly whispers, drowning our voices

 

We pay our very souls to safely cross the river Styx

Only to find that we can't leave Charon without them

 

We give our all to gain what our hearts desire,

And realize that we have lost everything to gain nothing

 

What man can bring back one second of his life;

Yet time seems worthless without entertainment

 

We campaign to save our fellow man,

By placing funds in already full pockets

 

Humans are dimensional amphibians, living both spirit and body,

The ghost in the machine

 

How light a heart in love!

How heavy a heart in sorrow

 

The weight of a soul drags me down

But hope can keep me alight

 

We strive for goodness through deeds and laws,

But laws are not for good deeds, or good people

 

We cannot live long alone, and yet push others away,

Until we are left with only our “selves”

 

We push and strive to become better than ourselves

Yet we can only grow inside our own nature

 

At what point in our quest to become God

Did we convert into the devil instead?

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Home

 

Back to back the night replays, 

Sitting here with a bottle called decay

 

And we’ve got the depression scented incense 

Sitting in a circle, wondering why it makes no kind of sense

Why I'm dwindling to live or live and suffer on the fence

 

I got fed up and left the room 

Went outside, tried to escape all that gloom

But what I found next was even worse, just rumors of doom

 

I visited this house I called home, but I’m not on the lease,

It all sounds so familiar, got the corpse of me laying there on center of the floor while you feast 

Got it displayed over there like an art piece 

Act like it was the true me, as if I was already deceased

 

But I’m still here, on the same broken couch, still sitting here 

You ignore me, go on, take another beer

Am I invisible? Do I not exist to you!?

Every part of me, debatable, divisible, that’s what you called only true.

I just want to find a breakthrough

And just like you, it never mattered, no matter what I do.

Just like you, 

 

It feels like an eternity since I left, I never cared to say goodbye 

All these broken objects still here, and I never understood why

But as I grew up, I know now, I know, it’s how you expressed to cry
The broken objects are a physical mental wall you built to hide
Broken and unwanted, justlike you,now I know, throwing it out was hard to decide

          

But you didn’t wanna outright say

You felt your own blood was a source of your betray

Leave the family, it’s better, leave them astray

Let her stay there, let her lay 

With all her demons she keeps at bay

 

I know now, your mind

Deteriorated

Dementia kissed you on the cheek and made us her kind

And like you I met her too, I became contaminated 

We are only moved by the broken blinds

Forever Unanimated 

 

You worship this building and every hole in the wall

Hide insecurity, and all that was spoken, ignore another call.

Put duct tape over the mess, and defend it all 

I wanted to ask, when did you begin this journey just to fall? 

 

 

I should leave before the sickness drives me mad

And just like you I close the door 

Until next time, dad

I close the door, and leave the past on the broken, dirty floor.

But unlike you, I must defeat what you couldn’t

The thing like me that you always avoid, the tainted inner core

 

 

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