sad

Dear Love, I Failed

Folder: 
Poor Me

I shut myself from the entire world
As i fall deeper in your love
High and low below the seas i travel to meet with you
Melt my sorrows in your eyes just to drink a minimum of your love
Try to interact with your world to shine it's kindness over me
But your heart was too busy to recognize my words
To your calls i come running just so you could spit onto my face
They tried to warn me but poor heart was too far dabbled in your waters
Poor did I tried to reason with the facts but reality was too obviously to be true.

Gavin Sebake ©10.24.2018

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tags:

Cold Embrace

Folder: 
Love
Filled with despair
“I'll meet you there”
Said to the phone
My heartbeat drones
To meet your love
And all thereof
To act, to show
So that they'll know
That we've moved on
(Our shared con)
All eyes assume
Within the room
But I just can't face
Your cold embrace
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Mists of Time

Folder: 
Light and Dark

“I had a child just like you”

She said to me that day

Waiting in the hospital

On my knees to pray

She didn't know who I was

Her mind just couldn't see

That I knew who she talked about

The child was truly me.

 

We'd had this converse once before

And many before that

The degradation of her mind

Was obvious, as she sat

And prattled on about her son

How happy he will be

With her family when she comes home

And I had to agree

 

She never found her memories

Or recognized my face

After everything she went through

She's in a better place

Where memories last forever

And can't be lost to time

Where human bodies don't break down

Always in their prime

 

Many years have come and gone

I can't recall them all

It's not like I haven't tried

But the thoughts just have a pall

I try to stare back to the past

Peer directly through the grime

Just like a fog covered my eyes

It's hard to see through mists of time

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Death of Infatuation

Folder: 
Light and Dark

I've never seen an angel bleed

Till I stood with knife in hand

I've never seen a devil cry

Till I looked once through it's eyes

 

You were my drug

Long before I acclimated

Long before withdrawal

I needed you to survive

 

I can feel your eyes on my back

Can't you hear me?

I'm silent on the outside

But screaming on the inside

I'm soul-lost

I can't find who I am anymore

 

Maybe I'll be fine

Perhaps I will survive

But I just don't know if

I can outlast your memory

 

If I lose myself in drugs and dreams

Or fly away to places and things

To fill the gap you left behind

Consuming body, soul, and mind

 

But there is no need

To conjure dreams

When life comes

In such radiant colors

 

They say Pandora is to blame

Her curiosity brought us pain

And fear of darkness in the night

But there was hope in candle-light

 

From the dark, a light will shine

Before the day, the night has gone

And now we know it burns so fine

That is why it's called, breaking dawn.

 

And maybe, just maybe

That which dies gives birth to something new

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Needs a better title

Thoughts On Life and Mortality

The ancients declared that all is meaningless

A chasing after the wind

 

The modernists claim that nothing is real

A consuming, constant dream

 

So what shall we say on our mortality;

What should we surmise of our souls?

 

We've all been screaming what we want to hear

And yet the truth quietly whispers, drowning our voices

 

We pay our very souls to safely cross the river Styx

Only to find that we can't leave Charon without them

 

We give our all to gain what our hearts desire,

And realize that we have lost everything to gain nothing

 

What man can bring back one second of his life;

Yet time seems worthless without entertainment

 

We campaign to save our fellow man,

By placing funds in already full pockets

 

Humans are dimensional amphibians, living both spirit and body,

The ghost in the machine

 

How light a heart in love!

How heavy a heart in sorrow

 

The weight of a soul drags me down

But hope can keep me alight

 

We strive for goodness through deeds and laws,

But laws are not for good deeds, or good people

 

We cannot live long alone, and yet push others away,

Until we are left with only our “selves”

 

We push and strive to become better than ourselves

Yet we can only grow inside our own nature

 

At what point in our quest to become God

Did we convert into the devil instead?

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Home

 

Back to back the night replays, 

Sitting here with a bottle called decay

 

And we’ve got the depression scented incense 

Sitting in a circle, wondering why it makes no kind of sense

Why I'm dwindling to live or live and suffer on the fence

 

I got fed up and left the room 

Went outside, tried to escape all that gloom

But what I found next was even worse, just rumors of doom

 

I visited this house I called home, but I’m not on the lease,

It all sounds so familiar, got the corpse of me laying there on center of the floor while you feast 

Got it displayed over there like an art piece 

Act like it was the true me, as if I was already deceased

 

But I’m still here, on the same broken couch, still sitting here 

You ignore me, go on, take another beer

Am I invisible? Do I not exist to you!?

Every part of me, debatable, divisible, that’s what you called only true.

I just want to find a breakthrough

And just like you, it never mattered, no matter what I do.

Just like you, 

 

It feels like an eternity since I left, I never cared to say goodbye 

All these broken objects still here, and I never understood why

But as I grew up, I know now, I know, it’s how you expressed to cry
The broken objects are a physical mental wall you built to hide
Broken and unwanted, justlike you,now I know, throwing it out was hard to decide

          

But you didn’t wanna outright say

You felt your own blood was a source of your betray

Leave the family, it’s better, leave them astray

Let her stay there, let her lay 

With all her demons she keeps at bay

 

I know now, your mind

Deteriorated

Dementia kissed you on the cheek and made us her kind

And like you I met her too, I became contaminated 

We are only moved by the broken blinds

Forever Unanimated 

 

You worship this building and every hole in the wall

Hide insecurity, and all that was spoken, ignore another call.

Put duct tape over the mess, and defend it all 

I wanted to ask, when did you begin this journey just to fall? 

 

 

I should leave before the sickness drives me mad

And just like you I close the door 

Until next time, dad

I close the door, and leave the past on the broken, dirty floor.

But unlike you, I must defeat what you couldn’t

The thing like me that you always avoid, the tainted inner core

 

 

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Heart Ache

Folder: 
Heart Break

My heart aches everynight I cry myself to sleep, When I have the thought that you aren't mine to keep. 

My heart aches every morning my notifications are baron, and so are my arms. All I can do is keep caring for your attitude and your charms.

Everytime I hear a bird coo, or when I even put on my shoe, all I can think of is how

My Heart Aches For You.

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Cherish them while they're still there.

Loneliness

Loneliness is being in the room with your love,

And realizing that there is no love in the room.

 

Loneliness is having a nightmare in bed,

And rolling over to realize that the dream was warmer than real life.

 

When I needed you

You weren't there

When I had to trust you

You broke my trust

When I held you up

You knocked me down

When I gave you everything

You took it all away

 

Loneliness is wanting to be understood,

But realizing that no-one else

Has the time or patience to discover

Who you really are

Fey

Folder: 
Tales and Fables

The heart within me turned to stone

Like a wolf pack's lonesome cries

Darkness woven in my bones

But starlight fading in my eyes

I hear the whispers in the trees

A wisp's song fluttering on the breeze

But ne'er will I go home again

Ne'er will I go

 

I heard the call of maiden fair

But swore again I'd go not there

My lonesome crying in the night

Has formed me as a sullen wight

Oh cursed fairy! How could you lead

A child to such an awful deed

For ne'er can I return again

Ne'er to return

 

Alone at last, my will is done

Now, forever this must be

Before my mind be overrun

To hurt no more, my final plea

My past is lost, the future nigh

My story dead on sands of time

To home I must return again

Again I must turn home

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