Feeling

Ballad of the Stars (Incomplete)

'Ballad of the Stars'

 

A Rhapsody composition by; Matthew Wayne

 

 

                                                             In the beginning....

 

 

 

Act I “As the Sun sets.”

 

 

I have been lost for so many years,

I have shed and bled so many tears.

I am lost deep within this never ending labyrinth

desperately trying to make any sense out of this.

So here I am, with visions in my hand

trying to figure out a way I could possibly comprehend.

 

What is a normal life? Is it a loving wife?

Is it a home that I could call my own?

With land kept, and breath taking sunsets.

The cool autumn breeze, just maybe it's all of these things?

What is normal in the eyes of a stranger?”

 

As the sun sets on this strange day,

a whisper of hope these winds say.

On the dieing breath of a heart in chains

now watch the life fade from these eyes.

'The caged lion who slowly dies'

I had given up hope lost my passion.

While in winter watching the death of the sun,

they can strip you of everything,

take your sight but never your dream.

To die with a smile, is to remember what makes life worth while.

 

Act II

'May god forgive me for what I have done.'

 

I am no stranger on the road of sorrow,

crossed that line for the sake of survival.

I have witnessed a hell through my own pale eyes,

I felt the shadow of salvation that was just short of eye sight.

Forgiveness needed for our own stubborn ways, and the ignorance it portrays.

As the echo of the ego's war drums beat, having our humanity running in retreat.

Struggling to save face, from disgrace we quickly lose our grace.

Enable the monsters, the hypocrites to cast you out to sea.

Can you even kill the man in the mirror with your own bare fists?

Cheering victory as you now bleed from the wrists.

Stranded in the road, left for dead till your blood runs cold.

 

Barbarians that feast on the elegance of the swan,

In this cruel world, It's the survival of the strong.

As the wicked things play from dusk till dawn.

Monsters that rape the beauty from the mother of innocence.

Then wonder why an army of son's take up resistance.”

 

I feel death creeping towards my back.

Hell hounds caught my scent, ready for the attack

foaming at the mouth to strike a little more fear.

Locked deep in your dungeon, with just a whisper to keep me here.

Where I had made myself a prisoner to my own mind, my own cell

and through this maze you are not hard to find, after all this is my hell.

 

 

Act III

A tragic tale”

 

 

 

I have traversed madness and even escaped hell,

found love and was ready to set sail

however there is something beautiful to be found in that devil.

 

 

Her sorrows could be matched by no other,

in her arms was her dieing lover.

The moon had nestled against the peeks,

by the mountainside she had waited for weeks.

Her warrior did not show, fear told her to go.

She waged a quest in search, tore through the heavens in pursuit.

Hell be damned, she would find her man.

 

She was beside herself in tears,

under the stars she lived her deepest fears.

The beast was slain, but what cost? What pain?

She looked down into those eyes she had grown to love.

With but a whisper on his dieing breath he shall watch her from above.

 

There is an eclipse over your heart, those tears that tore her apart.

I hear her whisper to the moon, wishing her prayers to be answered soon.

Lost is hope, with no means to cope.”

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I have decided to share the first two "Acts" that have been finished for some time now, as I am still working on the next ones. "Ballad of the Stars" will be by far my "biggest" piece written, I decided to base this artistic piece off of Shakespeares plays and the like. There is a direction/theme here however I had decided that with this I will go with my traditional style/method of writing which I consider open/loose (where the reader can relate it to something completely different then to what another reader would.)

As always I hope you enjoy the read! Comments and Critizisim is welcomed as well.

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Numb

Folder: 
Light and Dark

Every tear a snapshot

Every wound a memory

Scars I can’t remove

Remind of what you did to me

Visions glare in front of me

But I can’t feel a thing

That life both past is present

All lost because a ring

 

I'm trying to make things better,
but they only get worse.
Trying to stuff the pain away
To try and hide the hurt.
But this world is grinding at my sand paper sanity
until it's absolutely nothing.
And these demons have me on my knees begging for mercy.

Well, at least it’s something

 

I can’t go on like this

I’ve got to get away

Fallen angels dragging me down

To die again today

My heart has lost it’s city lights

It’s eroded into the slum

And I’ll never feel a thing again

I only can feel numb

Lost, abandoned, forsaken, left

Deserted, discarded, neglected, bereft

Cast off again, I can’t even start

Another child aborted, but this was my heart

 

All that’s left is apathy

Nothing left inside of me

Never will we be one

And so I’m left again, numb 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Italics were written by Underwater_Trying_Not_to_Drown.  Enjoy

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Sore Hands

The chords between these bones are wound a little tight
and every time my digits flex a cracking breeds abasement.
People say to stop the taps, the clicking and the rickets,
but as the infrastructure of my hands will soften and degrade,
I cannot help but reach in hopes of grasping someone's praises.
I've built and buffed these mannish claws for purpose clear, concise,
yet every step with arms at length results in falling, clutching;
scraping up the rivets, steel, and stones of blithe indifference.
Whereas had I huddled in a squarish, smallish trench and curled
my fingers 'round my middle, dense, and hid from their derision,
I couldn't help but panic and assume I've missed your passing-by:
the one true thing that signifies your where and when, or how and why,
and whether you will soon return to mark the way you're walking.
Rely on me - above, beneath; I'll sooner drown in draining moats
than miss a chance to feel, caress, and revel in your presence.
There are no words to supplant the touch, and in the touch, I will indulge,
as soon my permission grants - as soon as hands recover.

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Chocolate or Love

I’m looking for a feeling
to consume my soul…my being.
More than happiness or joy or even ecstasy…
my life needs deeper meaning
than those simple words convey.
I need a feeling that will last
longer than one minute…one hour…one day.

It begins in my center…a warmth that will grow and bloom
then spread through my entire body even filling the entire room
in a way that makes me certain everyone can see
this feeling that I thought was inside of me…

But it isn’t…
it’s spreading faster and yet staying inside my body
where it has touched every nerve, every vessel, every vein…
until I feel like if I can’t control it
I just may go insane
But it’s a madness I quite enjoy—
an all encompassing feeling of contentment
better than the smile brought on by a toy
received on Christmas morning that I’d been dying to see under the tree…
what in the world brought on this amazing feeling inside of me?

My lips curve into a soft, slow smile
as my eyes drift slowly closed to better savor the feeling for a while
as the heat that began deep within
sends sparking tingles to my fingers and toes
and right when I think it just has to be peaking
I realize there are no limits to how it grows.

So now that I’ve found this feeling, I will not fight it…
I’ll enjoy it while it’s mine.
I’ll revel in its power…give in to its demands…
enjoy whatever it does to me during the time
I am fortunate enough for its embrace to be
wrapped around my soul…
since this could be the last time I have it…anything could
happen…you never know.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one makes me laugh because everyone thinks it's about some REALLY steamy sexual encounter I had.

It's not.

It was inspired by the BEST Chili-infused chocolate I ever tasted in my lift. It LITERALLY sent sparks running through my body...mmmmmm...chocolate....LOL

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Hollow

Folder: 
Love

Church bells ring
But I don’t hear them
Silence is my only sound
My world is in black and white
The color is gone
Since you’re now no longer around
Music once flowed, now out of my life
Children are laughing
But I can’t see
All I see is you, leaving me slowly
Watching me suffer
In love with you, forever I’ll be

Why didn’t I fight
My cowardice shown
But now you’re gone
And I’m left all alone
I’d rather be in pain
Than feel nothing at all
Apathy, still having
Yet further to fall
My heart ripped out
A hollow chest remains
No power to fight
Memory, my chains

So, am I living or have I yet died
Nothing is left, I’m hollow inside

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What Can I Say?

Folder: 
My Love

What can I say to her?
How do I explain?
This feeling I equate with love inside
So strong it causes pain?

Pain to see her fall all day
Pain to see her cry
Pain to know she walks the road
Which leads people to die?

Pain to know she can do better
Pain to dry her tears
Pain to fortify her soul
For countless, endless years?

Pain, I wish I could help
Pain, I want to kill your fears
Pain, I want the best for you
To turn sorrow into cheers.

But what can I say to her?
How do I explain?
This feeling I equate with love inside
So strong it causes pain?

How do I make her feel?
How to save her from herself?
I try but she’s not listening
So I continue to give myself.

Yet what can I say to her?
How can I explain?
This feeling, I know it’s love inside
So strong it causes pain?

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Here Comes The Rain

Folder: 
Songs

You made my day as black as night
My life feels loss of meaning.
You’ve turned dark what once was bright
How can you know what I’m feeling?

Did you know that once you filled my life
Your loss would be unreal?
I could’ve avoided the pain and strife
If you had told me how you feel.

 

Here comes the rain
I’m crying in pain
Sighing with the wind
Swaying in the trees
Here comes the rain
I’m carrying the pain
I’m falling to my knees-
Here comes the rain.

 

Why did you say that I am not enough?
Why pierce me to the soul?
Because now, like the winter wind outside
My heart’s become so cold.

Here comes the rain
I’m crying in pain
Sighing with the wind
Swaying in the trees
Here comes the rain
I’m carrying the pain
I’m falling to my knees-
Here comes the rain.

 

Here comes the rain
I’m crying in pain
Sighing with the wind
Swaying in the trees
Here comes the rain
I’m carrying the pain
I’m falling to my knees-
Here comes the rain.

More Than

More than this simple feeling
more than a fleeting touch
More than fading moments
or than just being in love

More than a careless whisper
More than some senseless tease
More than the barest breath
floating through the barren trees

More than a hidden haven
on which we depend
More than some shelter and warmth
promised by some faitheless friend

More than the strongest echo
like thunder in the sky
More than the silent fall of tears
from joyous whiskey eyes

More than more the waves crashing
from the cycle of the seas
Nothing can compare to the meaning
of Your presence, here with me

Boundless Beauty

Folder: 
Love Poems

With its glimmer, the essence of your eyes reveals the tales of untold passion and unbound love
With its sway, the grace of such alluring hair casts upon the world the auras of infinite light and emotion
With your smile, all sources of pounding pain are erased with an embrace daring to all forms of darkness
With your approach, the beats of my heart rhythmically resonate with the natural tendency of the universe

With your touch, a cleansing so magical redeems the worn fractions of my form with a hope shining as bright as the wildest of stars, offering vivid glimpses into the vistas of unreal heavens
With your presence, the pace of the world’s unwanted commotion fades into the threads of nothingness, and the potency of your being illuminates my world with the rays of inspiration

The sweetness of your voice kindles the fires of my lost vitality, and reincarnates the spires of my soul with the flames of life and the tears of joy
The whims of sparkles emanating throughout the endless plains stretching throughout the infinite scope of your wondrously precious eyes, enlightens me with all the beauty the exists in heaven, and in hell

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