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Why am I sat here

By JFarrell

Why am I sat here,

Listening to 80’s disco music?

“young hearts, run free”

“oops up side your head”

Music I haven’t listened to

In decades;

I’m too old to be feeling like a teenager,

And I really thought I was through,

Finished,

With these kind of feelings,

Those kind of dreams.

Why am I sat here,

Heart beating so fast?

It’s been so long,

I thought it had stopped beating years ago;

And, honestly,

Might have been better

If it had stayed that way.

Those kind of feelings, those kind of dreams

I’m a fool to begin with

And these make me more so.

Why am I sat here,

Fantasizing of brighter, happier tomorrows?

Please, dear reader, don’t say

“because you’re in love, you fool”

That just isn’t possible

I can’t even love myself.

There has to be another answer…

I am way too old

Me?

Love?

I’d be like a baby with a box of matches

And burn everything.

Verse 1:

Retrace a lost design

Lost memories, etched in our hearts.

Where do we go from here?

Tell me, do you feel the same?

Chorus:

If you and me, if there's a possibility

Of becoming one with you,

Won't you take me into your arms?

Tell me, do you feel the same?

Verse 2:

Is it yesterday or just a memory?

Retrace those lost memories in lost designs.

Your dreams become my own.

If it's you, I can overcome anything.

Bridge:

These arms ache to hold and comfort you.

Won't you take me home?

There's something about this love

That I cannot communicate with words.

Last-Chorus:
If there is any way,

Know that I'll always love you.

Tell me, do you feel the same?

Where do we go from here? 

July.12/13.2011
Trisha M Barrek Hopkins

I gave you my heart
And you ripped it out of my chest
Now I'm in pieces
A total wreck falling apart
You're just like all the rest

Feed me lies no respect
God really made a fool out of me
I extremely failed the test
My heart he couldn't even protect
This guy was the best
He's the one that gave me the greatest pain

I thought I could be happy
But you from all the others
You were the brightest
You got me to believe all your lies
Instead of a sunny day
All I have are black clouds and rain
At night all I hear
Again are my cries
Once again I trusted you with my soul
All you left behind is this evil stain

My last hopes you stole
You capturing me in you web of distrust
Was your only goal
My only heartbeat that was left
To take it from me was your gain
You weren't here for love
You made me feel disgust

How could you feed me lines
Once again you got me to let down my wall
Entrapping me in your vines
Waiting in the background
In the shadows not making a sound
Watching and waiting for me to fall

When you seen your chance
You crept in like and ass
Skipping out on his rent
And captured my heart in your romance
Only to stay till your time was spent
Then you spun me in your dance

You quickly disappeared without a trace
You went through that door
Never again to see your face
You let go of me
To watch me crash to the floor
The pain you caused you didn't dare see

You came and took
What you wanted to take
You came and left without a second look
All along you were just a fake

Once again
I'm left alone
To pick up the pieces off the ground
My body turning to stone
May should God has almost found
I should of remained by my self
....All Alone!

Copyright*

The wooden doll’s puppet hands

I sat next to her, her and her aroma.

It perfumed the air around my circling thoughts.

They, bewildered by the sweet intoxication, could think no more.

In that dull chamber of routine,

I did not tend to my task, as I could not.

Not next to her at least.

A stranger, perhaps no stranger than the norm,

And indeed my eyes had once before gazed upon her body, approaching me.

Mind you that I did not have, in me, know of her soul.

Certainly, I knew nothing of her heart.

Certainly she cared not for me, I pondered to myself at least.

She did escape my present tense.

But then again,

I am better known for chasing dreams awake,

Than cool romance in trance, lost somewhere in the wake of exchanging pressing words and thoughts.

Regardless, me being the fool that I like to play, I took the plunge into her eyes.

I then spoke my soft spoken words,

Both fearful and out of childish curiosity,

I asked my stupid question and she felt obliged to answer.

I then, became so foolishly aware of just how stupid I had been,

I took evasive action, and turned too soon.

But I, at least, did thank her.

Then only silence for the rest of the way.

Just her perfume revolving parallel to my growing sentiments of both desire and apology,

As we sat side by side by circumstance.

She as a wooden doll,

For my amusement,

And I as a wooden boy gutless in his pursuit.

For no particular reason,  I in that moment:

A physicist, a scientist, a philosopher, and,

 For no deeper meaning Alive.

If she would have asked me too.

I would be hers, like a dog.

I would give up my freedom, my freedom!

For the sweet embrace of this stranger,

For the foreign love that she possessed,

And for that second of a thought in which:

I was pitifully in love and happy for no greater reason.

it spins around just like that all the time

just like a fool

cloud organ the whole go-round'

dance two-step-two-steps

he sees it comin' down

just a one-eyed-brow salute

it's all he can do

it's all he can do

keys come in

have you no godly good-bye?

aint' seen no saints?

stiff as a bush

stern as a snake

great as a great

bannana-fast and ashamed

good luck 

great fella

he said good luck

stay good

stay straight

stay good

make a dent in the wood

It goes from the radiance of the sun into the darkest hour
Mortified of my presence lingering through these hollow spaces
I'm a snowflake on your cheek, the burning flame within those eyes
Born walking upon thin ice, always hoping for a fall into frigid water
But there’s still a pulse within this petrified heart and I need to survive
What time in life will let us be, maybe one day it will let us see?
Certainly lunacy has a hold on me; if it were so, rather than her, I'd take that fall
You don’t deserve pain, let me clear your tears, embrace your fears
freely stay the enemy when i know its time to go or maybe perpetually stay true for only you
You hear my plea and try to forget me; in agony I'd tempt to regret the name only in vain
Oh love, you cruel demon, take what you want but set us free, sadly that cannot be
Plunge in the depths of a bottomless abyss, motionlessly utter darkness bids my course awry
Look at me my sun, stare at yet another victim who imprudently aspires to alter tragedy into light
Who does she meet the sunrise with, who other than her to share an endless summer haze with
We’re falling in this wonderland, one wish at a time we breathe our candles out
One dream, one life, to be near your warmth, your hypnotic once a lifetime eyes
Foolishly wait for you, as the winter snow silently comes falling over us  

Darkness illuminates a hopeless heart
Deepens burdens that come on nightly visit
Dreaming is but meager rescue
Chased by shadows within an archaic masquerade
Should the nights vex fools forever so

She felt a touch while he was running
Aglow the sky where daggers tend to fly
Pierce the flesh of those just walking by
A question needs an answer, why
When she starts meaning her goodbye
He winds down to turn and sigh
Wonders if their love will really win
Yet all the curtains are closing in

I’ve felt the fire, I’ve drowned within the rain
I lay, despite the pain, loving her in utter vain
She’s a soaring bird, no wind to tame her
Roam whichever way desires, beauty

while Love,
Everlastingly will ember,
Within my dormant heart .

e.a.

How does one know when it’s right?
When winter finally changes to spring and the sun shines a little brighter
Or does the day just turn into night?
And one wonders can I ever go back to when it was lighter?
When do I let go?
Please, how do you know?
Tell me to let go of hope
Or do I keep fighting,
Fighting for what used to be?
I don’t know I really don’t, I wish one of these days I could just see
But I guess I’ll have to be patient with what my heart decides happens to me.