shy

Galaxies Tied Up With Strings

Folder: 
2016

Maybe if I fall out of bed
Maybe if I crash to the floor
Maybe if I pretend to be drowning
I won’t always feel like the last wheel

 

The floor shifts beneath my feet
and once again I’m helpless
leaning on her and him and you

 

The world’s a stampede, I have no choice but to dive in
but I’m diving as a fly on her shoulder
and I’m laughter coaxed into one person
one heart, one mind

but right now the shackles have bound me too tight

 

I wish I could tear into you with my words,
read your thoughts, speak your name in a rhyme
but instead I’ll stay
right here
I’m all the galaxies tied up with strings
but the box has never been opened

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/18/16

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Regalia of Diffidence

I fasten tight my helm of careful thought
Eyes like arrows cannot pierce me here
Their pointed tips always finding weakest spots
Bare and open flesh; mine own Achilles’ heel


I hide behind my shield of introspective retrospection
Tongues like blades cannot cut me here
Their double edged slash never relenting
So quick and cruel; fiery shout and chilling whisper


I cower behind my wall of silent apprehension
Judgments like clubs cannot crush me here
Their brutal blows rival those of stone and steel
Announcing condemnation; already faults are clear


- ¡¿†¥lΣ®?!

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Regrets

My only regret is not hugging you that night, 

not attempting to beat you at beer pong, 

not moving a little closer when we were both freezing,

not letting you know how adorable you looked,

not telling you how ecstatic I was that you showed up...
 

I just hope that through that simple goodbye

you knew what I was thinking, 

and maybe you, too,

had the same regrets.

The Wooden Doll's Puppet Hands

The wooden doll’s puppet hands

 

I sat next to her, her and her aroma.

It perfumed the air around my circling thoughts.

They, bewildered by the sweet intoxication, could think no more.

 

In that dull chamber of routine,

I did not tend to my task, as I could not.

Not next to her at least.

 

A stranger, perhaps no stranger than the norm,

And indeed my eyes had once before gazed upon her body, approaching me.

Mind you that I did not have, in me, know of her soul.

 

Certainly, I knew nothing of her heart.

Certainly she cared not for me, I pondered to myself at least.

She did escape my present tense.

 

But then again,

I am better known for chasing dreams awake,

Than cool romance in trance, lost somewhere in the wake of exchanging pressing words and thoughts.

 

Regardless, me being the fool that I like to play, I took the plunge into her eyes.

I then spoke my soft spoken words,

Both fearful and out of childish curiosity,

 

I asked my stupid question and she felt obliged to answer.

 

I then, became so foolishly aware of just how stupid I had been,

I took evasive action, and turned too soon.

But I, at least, did thank her.

 

Then only silence for the rest of the way.

Just her perfume revolving parallel to my growing sentiments of both desire and apology,

As we sat side by side by circumstance.

 

She as a wooden doll,

For my amusement,

And I as a wooden boy gutless in his pursuit.

 

For no particular reason,  I in that moment:

A physicist, a scientist, a philosopher, and,

 For no deeper meaning Alive.

 

If she would have asked me too.

I would be hers, like a dog.

I would give up my freedom, my freedom!

 

For the sweet embrace of this stranger,

For the foreign love that she possessed,

And for that second of a thought in which:

I was pitifully in love and happy for no greater reason.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I have learned so much since then but then again the sentiment is a striking one, one that I will make sure to remember.

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A sonnet for Shannon

a sonnet for Shannon 
 
You first captured my gaze.
Intriguing, curiosity what I would give?
What I was waiting for with one life to live?
A quick glance to one another, my soul wherein?
My heart follows my gaze herein,
A single second to relive?
Do my feelings misgive?
Your heart I want to win?
No! Break the gaze and question no more.
Free yourself and continue on.
I can't let my guard down again.
My heart I wish for you to restore.
Even though my gaze I have withdrawn.
My love for you will still remain.
Author's Notes/Comments: 

how I met Shannon and what I felt at the time. Confused, shy, curious, engrossed, but careful. She had an air of mystery to her when I first caught a glance of those grey eyes. I wanted to know more about her.