Addiction

Meth.

Wild thrashing, 

Sincere begging,

On my knees, pleading,

For this drug, shaking, feining,

My dying body, withdrawing, bleeding,

My heart, my mind, fighting,

Closed eyes, finally seeing,

Refusing, in believing,

Wanting, no, needing,

To endure this beating,

This feeling, I'm hating,

This life, contemplating,

This light, is fading,

Chin up, like a lady,

Show strength, little weakling,

Loud, yet muffled screaming,

No tears now, no crying,

Only truth here, no lying,

My mind, I'm sacrificing,

To this drug, so enticing,

This lighter, lighting,

This inhale, adrenalizing,

Out from the darkness, no longer hiding,

Clear thoughts, abandoning,

This monster, I'm becoming,

This body, is dying,

My lips, are cracking,

But this is only, the beginning,

This drug, my body is absorbing,

The high, only slightly alarming,

As my body slowly begins, ascending, 

The floating and energy, overhelming, never ending,

Every touch, electrofying,

Feeling strong, overpowering,

But that's what it does, before the decending, 

Before the good begins to start fading,

It's almost weakening, tiring,

I'm just waiting for the speeding,

To come to it's ending,

So I can hold it to my mouth, once more feining,

Light the bowl again, and continue feeding.

 

 

View disgusting's Full Portfolio

Friend

As I stand in an oh-so quiet room, and feel my strained, tired heart go boom, I look around and see many, many people staring at me. Why won't they just let me be? Why am I here for them to see? Well... because they're just like me. I was a fresh, healthy young man who strived to be the best that I can. I ran and sang and, with others, had fun. Then society had to shoot me with a gun.

I worked in an office. It became a stressful and frantic place. When I was given papers to sort, it never was with grace. Get it out of my face! The workload grew just too much, and I grew cold to the touch.  I then found a friend, a friend which I could never end. every day, I would go out of my way to buy, to buy more forms of my friend. I ordered some more which Amazon would send. It was a spiral into darkness, just like my colleague David Harkness. 

My wife left me... I was free! No, I was a selfish bastard! No consideration for others, neither my daughters or my brothers. They also parted ways, because of my delusional gaze. Then I was left in this cold, cold world. That empty Vodka bottle? That's what I hurled. I hurled it at society, far from soberiety, filled with anxiety. What a riot, eh? My whiskey, oh whiskey! That warm burn should have made my stomach churn, and caused me to gurn. it didn't! It made me feel at home. At home in my warm bed, next to my wife, reminding me of my 'good life'. 

My brain was prayin', prayin' for mercy. Wow! I miss a chat with my pal Percy. Memories came flooding, flooding back. Wow, no balance! I fell and cracked my back. I'd had far too much of the good old 'Jack. I woke up in hospital. I was back! The doctors told me I had a heart attack. Last night the world seemed black, but really, that's utter cack! 

I chose, as I rose, that I would never drink again. Hey, actually, I'll pick up my pen. Writing is a hobby, and I'm not meaning to sound gobby, like my neighbour Bobby. It escalated again, very, very quickly. The thought of ginny made me very, very tickly. Oh no! It's happened again. 

Three months later I had a stroke. I know, what a joke! Now I'm fine, unlike the wine. With motivation, and medication, I pulled myself upwards, upwards from that dark, dark spiral. Today, the sun will shine!

Now I'm here, standing before you all, pretending I hate my alcohol. I've now opened up to you, and I know you will to me too. I will get the better of 'the brew'! Time to introduce myself finally eh? I hope to get better, I will prey! Now I can give that board in the hall a tick. Hi, my name is Nick Wall, and I'm an alcoholic!

You Give In

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

It happens when

 

you're all alone....

 

 

 

No one answering your calls

 

No one answering your texts

 

No one there for you...

 

 

 

 

 

That's when you look over,

 

and you see your blade.

 

 

 

That faithful friend...

 

 

 

 

 

That friend who's always there

 

when no one else is around.

 

 

 

 

 

That friend that 

 

can bring you comfort,

 

bring you freedom,

 

make you.... 

 

 

 

alive.

 

 

 

 

 

You don't dare 

 

tell others that 

 

this is how you feel...

 

 

 

That, even though it's wrong,

 

you actually....

 

enjoy the blade.

 

 

 

You keep that inside, 

 

it's your little secret. 

 

 

 

 

 

You slowly reach out,

 

knowing you shouldn't

 

 

 

but you're done resisting,

 

and ready for that comfort. 

 

 

 

 

 

So that's when you 

 

go ahead,

 

 

 

you hold it in your hand, 

 

feeling the familiarity of it.

 

You place it to your skin,

you press it down,

you pull on it,

you drag it across your skin.

 

You give in and let it win.

 

You cut.....

You give in.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Let me know what you think, or whether you think there's a better title for it, or really anything!

 

Please!

Molly Delight

The noise all around me

spiraling through my body
the soundtrack of this jubilee
is filled with the glitz and gaudy
 
he wants me to leave
to go be with him
but the kush has me believe
the party helps me swim.
 
Maybe he wont be there
when i come crawling home faded
maybe he can't handle the affair
maybe there's nothing left persuaded.
 
but at the end of the night
i know im completely alive
because i danced with Molly Delight
my weekend revive.
 
View myhumanity's Full Portfolio

Old Man Charlie

Folder: 
Experience

Old man Charlie weeps

Drowns in sorrow he keeps

As old as hops brewed ale

Charlie of old gale

 

Old man Charlie seeks

Stability in seat

As old as hound who sleeps

Charlie of loose teeth

 

Old man Charlie finds

In due time, a divine

As old as church bell rings

Charlie of deep sleep

Author's Notes/Comments: 

please comment and give insights! thank you

Addiction

Addiction

The need for my brain to be tricked. 
The desire to fulfill an emotion. 
It is always the same. 
I always revert back.
Joy
Anger
Frustration
Puzzling
Boredom
They all mean the same thing to me.
It numbs the brain and changes the emotion
I feel guilt after. 
All emotions lead to guilt. 
I know how to move on after guilt.
I cope with guilt. 
Other emotions are Unknown for me. 
I accept failure
I thrive in failure
I am my best in failure. 
I tell my self what can I do without the addiction
Could I be better?
Could I do more? 
What if I am better with my addiction? 
I drives me to do better. 
15 years of mind tricks. 
15 years of fighting, winning and losing.
I am still me, but with a crutch.
Will the crutch ever go away. 
Can I fight and win? 
I  hate it with guilt 
I love it with all other emotions. 
I have created a bad world for me. 
This was written in guilt... 
1 hour, 5 hours, 2 days , 7 days,  1 month, 2years.
I will forget and addict. 
My brain is processed. 
Anger
Joy
Frustration
Boredom
Puzzling
More and more.... 
 
 
 
 
 
View dolfish's Full Portfolio
tags:

"Oh, Sweet Thelema"

 

What hath ol' soft darkness brought?

Shameful lust molesting thought,

Immediate self medicate release,

Gently strangles my spirit ceased,

 

As I drift I gaze below,

Comfortly raping my soul he holds,

When the hands rotate no more,

Orgasmic twilight, pain adorn....

View grantrizmo2002's Full Portfolio

Relapse

There's is an emptiness unfulfilled, a

vicious circle of malignant desire

becoming, consuming.

Beyond purple haze, or blue mist...an

Arctic freeze, stone cold ice.

Revolutionize my train of thought, I'm

tired of the poison, I'm tired of being

tired, weary, restless...

I want to rest in peace and dream

again. Death sounds like a coward's

exit from reality.

I will face reality and slap her, before

she slaps me again.

I will enter ceremonial withdraws from

spiritual imprisonment of my own flesh;

love has everything to do with this, a

love that kills, an addiction with thrills...

but I have two cups to fill, the first has

overfill, the second half empty; 24oz

don't quench the thirst anymore.

Shaking, tremors, cold sweat; mental

detox, body cleanse.

The rhythm of my heart is scratching,

skipping notes, beating slow.

I'm reaching out, yet Yeezuz thinks I'm

a fool.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

beating an addiction!

View soulkritic's Full Portfolio
tags:

Welcome to a place

Welcome to a place where words are unspoken,
Dreams cease to exist, and promises are broken,
Welcome to a place over run by hate,
Safety has died, and only fear reins,
Welcome to a place where screams go unheard,
Love had fled, and has been replaced by hurt,
Welcome to a place where anger rises above all,
No one cares to catch those who fall,
Welcome to a place where no comfort is found,
Those who are broken dare not make a sound,
Welcome to a place where the weak stay hidden,
Having thoughts and feelings are forbidden,
Welcome to a place where pain has become a drug,
Addiction to abuse, addiction to cuts,
Welcome to a place where one looks forward to the end,
Ones only escape is death,
Welcome to a place where a friend is a knife,
Welcome to a place, that is my life.

View disgusting's Full Portfolio