#alone #depression #sad #lonely #pain #tears #Lord #waiting

I take it back

I don't care if you see me!

I don't care if I cry!

I never wanted this to be!

Now I just want to die!

 

I want this, 

My family,

My home,

My sanctuary, 

My own little dome.

 

I need this,

My friends,

My church,

There I could blend,

Now I just hurt.

 

Don't you see my pain?

Don't you hear me cry?

I am going INSANE!

I am tearing apart inside!

 

I cry myself to sleep at night.

Some nights I don't sleep at all.

I'm just like a kite, 

That always seems to fall.

 

I started to cut.

I do it 'till I hurt both inside and out.

I want to reopen the door I shut!

And I want to SHOUT!

 

I want to tell you how I feel!

But I'm to scared.

I never wanted this to be real!

Now I'm running out of air!

 

I have lost all hope!

I'm caving in inside!

I don't want to cope!

I don't want to hide!

 

It's like a syndrome.

So there, I LIED!

I want my home!

If not, then I don't want to be alive!!!!!!!

 

If I don't go back,

I will hurt even more!

Everything will fade to black, 

And Anna will open the door!

 

I love you!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry I'm such a screw!

All I want is my family!!!

 

I only did this for you!

I acted like it was OKAY.

But my apologies are way overdue.

Yet, I said OKAY anyway. 

 

So I'm sorry I lied,

But I can't help but want to die.

Now I still cry,

It's time to say goodbye.

 

All I wanted was for you to be happy,

But now I just hurt.

It's now my sad reality.

I want to go back to my big ole' church!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Made a stupid decision and I am afraid to tell my mum because I fear she will be mad because we worked so hard to get to that decision. I don't what to do so I did the only thing I could do.. I turned my thoughts, feelings, ect. into a poem. WARNING: MAY BE DEPRESSING!!!

Alcoholism

words flow off my tongue, but no response is given.

keep trying to talk but no one is hearing.

alone once again, while they drink to the bottom.

oh mother, oh father

may the lord bless your soul which is soon deemed for war.

I've stopped speaking because everything i say is ignored.

no more fighting no more trying, no more talking at all.

alone once again, not like i haven't been here before.

I'm tired of this struggle, no love for myself.

never had a relationship due to the struggles you've made me felt.

you think its okay to drink all your pain away.

theres no place for me here.

i can't do this anymore, my head is gonna explode.

I've got the trigger now, lets see how i blow.

on the ground now, red pouring all on the floor.

now you can suffer and deal with the pain

that you've made me go through almost everyday.

no more fighting no more life. 

you had your chance and so did i.

quiver in pain as i take flight

 

I'm comin home, but not to your arms tonight.

Sorrow

Sorrow came's today.

Sorrow come's tommorrow.

Sorrow is a tear.

Sorrow is not near.

Sometime's you cry.

Sometime's you don't mine.

When sorrow's not there.

You'll never share a tear.

Sorrow stop's the laughter.

A tear comes after.

Sorrow hurt's like cut's.

Sorrow is bleeding drops.

Sorrow is a rain that nver stop's.

View joshie's Full Portfolio

Lonely

 

Contingent spices

To make better with

Another meal to devour 

Knife and fork set

A splash of flavor

A meal placed for two

Only one plate used

I miss you...

 

Old Man Charlie

Folder: 
Experience

Old man Charlie weeps

Drowns in sorrow he keeps

As old as hops brewed ale

Charlie of old gale

 

Old man Charlie seeks

Stability in seat

As old as hound who sleeps

Charlie of loose teeth

 

Old man Charlie finds

In due time, a divine

As old as church bell rings

Charlie of deep sleep

Author's Notes/Comments: 

please comment and give insights! thank you

It Wasnt Mine To Began With

 

 

This is not my fate to begane with.

It better this way.

How much you say without a word.

The way i though you were real.

Yet you wernt mine still.

I think it funny because i never got thoughs chills.

It truely kills me that you left me.

I finely awoken because of the unspoken.

So just let me fade.

Im taking this blade and going away

 To a better place.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

okay so i have been have this poem stuck in my head so here it is

View deadroses's Full Portfolio

Alone I wept

 
 
Alone I wept.
Memories of you still burned in my mind.
My room is a mess, clothes everywhere. 
I can not keep my sobs still.
My tears run rampant.
How could it end so quickly?
 
How could you take everything back so quickly?
I asked over, and over as I wept.
My emotions run rampant.
How I wished to erase you from my mind.
For you are there still.
Your presence everywhere.
 
I see you everywhere.
When you see me, you retreat quickly.
How I wish to hold you still.
On that cold December day, we both wept.
You changed your mind.
My anger was rampant.
 
The words I spoke, ran rampant.
Pacing like a mad man everywhere.
When I lost you, I lost my mind.
How you could just forget me easily,quickly.
My family seeing the pain you caused, with me they wept.
How I long for you still.
 
In that moment the earth stood still.
Frozen, nothing rampant.
The angels wept,
For it seemed sadness was everywhere.
I wish to recover quickly,
And have peace of mind.
 
Do I ever cross your mind?
Do you think of me still?
Would you run into my arms again so quickly?
Would you let your heart run rampant?
Would you once again accompany me everywhere?
Enough with meaningless questions. Alone I still wept.
 
Alone I wept, no peace of mind.
I see you everywhere still.
I wish to run rampant, and quickly. 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Wrote this sestina at work. Reflected upon the day my ex-fiancé left me.

Heart broken sonnet

 
 
Tears fall like rain, broken within
The heart of stone you hold so frigid and cold
Was once pure and glistened like gold
Tell me your story, go on begin
Your soul like silver tainted with sin
In the past my heart you would hold
Promised me forever and together we grow old
Infidelity creeped in
Left me broken, angered, confused
What once was whole  is now broken
Damaged beyond repair
"Along for the ride" I feel so used
We remain unspoken
Life is unfair 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Another one I wrote at work. This one is in regards to my ex fiancé. 

A steady pace

 
 
Here I sit waiting
For a sign, a call to life
To cut this boredom with a knife
Time crawls, steadily pacing
A thought of you crossed my mind and has my chest racing
My love for you is rife
Though I guard my heart from strife
You, my dear keep me anticipating
How I long to want you near
How I long to cradle your heart
How I long to repair your broken soul
For I would stand by your side to fight your fear
In faith till we must depart
I would pick up the pieces and make you whole
Author's Notes/Comments: 

I write when it gets boring at work. I was just pondering my mind when my love interest crossed my mind. So I decided to write what was on my mind about her.

View scandalofgrace's Full Portfolio