Addiction

I love you

I can't help but to love you

Even with how the circumstances stand

I've decided I'll never leave you

Together we'll be hand in hand

I can't help but to have these feelings

That are oh so passionately true

Because the more we make love

The more I'm so into you

Not only do I want you as my husband

I'm praying you'll remain my best friend

Because when I first met you

You automatically made my heart mend

You gave me this comfort I never felt before

This comfort that I soon came to adore

You're like this addiction that I've become prone to

Nothing or no one compares to you

So remember this next time we're apart

I loved you and only you right from the very start

But I declined.

Folder: 
Impy poems

Temptation outside my door

puffing clouds grey

beckoning me 

to breathe

smog

 

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Girl after a girl: Events unforgettable

 

 

Part I

 

1) With a ‘to’ and a ‘fro’ in her throat,

something she did note,

as on a piece of paper, she wrote

"I can't like you, for you don't know -

I got to go away - to which I can't say No."

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

2) With her legs beside me, so stiff

and -to save me- her hands with great mischief,

she conveys to the punishment chief -

"Oh Ma'am? How can he be guilty?

As this is his first moment to my proximity!"

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

3) With all her teeth and gums out

and her tiny eyes so stout,

she beckons me with a shout -

"Go! I won't talk anymore to you.

How much I am hurt, you never knew."

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

4) With real tears in her eyes

and five of her fingers glued to rice,

maybe yes, twice - she cries -

"How would you know how much I moan!

For, never you, I am disturbed alone."

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

5) With a big grin at my face,

but with a big cry, the very next phase,

at my back this time, she says -

"He wouldn't have really scolded me,

If, even little, he had ever read me."

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

6) With a rise in all her gaze over the book,

when asked for her verses, she gave me an eerie look.

Soon, she wrote for me; Almost a month it took! -

"Though difficult, try to remember me

for, perhaps many for you, though you're alone for me."

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

From a girl, only another girl keeps one away,

but not from past nor future, for there're many more girls, I say.

An event with a girl can give a great kick start

that can lead anyone, till many suns set.

Memories of brain written from heart -

a few of many incidents I could not forget!

 


Part II

 

7) With drops falling down as she bends

her neck, in some reunion -she attends

after a year- she tells our friends -

Long back, He stopped talking to me.

Neither a hello nor a glance – as if I’m his enemy.

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

8) With a smile -she leaves the lab- too fake one

and with swollen eyes -returns in- pointing none.

Then, a message leaves her, following the sun -

A friend can be anything, but not a sister!

So, please don’t ever call me so, you mister!

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

9) With good red expressions – contorted,

while issues were being sorted

out about my interest in her, her words parted –

Oh, now please stop it! I want no fight.

I understand it and it’s completely alright!

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

10) With her ideas so optimistic,

though actions far realistic,

she typed something very mystic -

Had you worked, excellence of now would have been average

Anyways, any failure to be understood needs courage.

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

11) With her face full of joy and hope

and beliefs no less than some pope,

she always replies, to my theory of mortality, with nope -

The word End, with someone can also be Never,

for the person may know words like Forever.

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

12) With a look so cheerless, that can shrink

one’s heart -though sometimes so cheerful that can kink

it’s beat- she said or typed - I think -

Really miss you as I sometimes also saw my ex in you.

You played big part in my life, though days were very few.

Well, every girl is so so pretty.

 

Lies apart, any girl can make your day,

no matter whether you are a guy, girl or a gay

This is a small tribute to a small part

of all the girls I met.

Memories of brain written from heart -

a few of the incidents I could never forget!

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A saga written as a ode about incidents revolving in mind, involving a few of the girls I met. Their sounds still ring in my head!

IT AIN'T WHAT U THINK IT IS

IT AIN'T WHAT U THINK IT  IS

 

Whys everybody on my shit

 Whys everyone at me for my tips,

 I've put in my own work

 I've paid my own dues,

 Why's my boy

 Wanna bomb on me to,

 Theres a time to step off

 Step the fuck away,

 Back the fuck up

 Before a catastrophy gets made,

 A lil misunderstandin

 Can turn into alot,

 Espicially when u gotta shit

 And cant find the pot,

 What's really goin on

 Are yall fuckin blind,

 Thinkin Im doin  good

 Yall dun lost yalls damn mind,

 Open your eyes

 And see whats really there,

 Walk behind the scenes

 And you'll find this dream is a nightmare,

 It sucks to be the man

 When thats what ur pertrayed,

 Ain't nothin but stress, stress, stress

 Every motherfuckin day,

 I'd take it back

 The whole fuckin thing,

 Cause were I'm standin

 There aint no bling,

 Just anger and irritation

 Over somethin thats out my hands,

 Yea it sux for the most part

 When your the man,

 It gets old as hell

 Being tugged at from all angles,

 Hell the angles turn to tangles

 And the tangles get tangled,

 Wadded up and wrapped up

 Smacked and jaw-jacked,

 Not for what it had

 But for what it lacked,

 This might just be

 The final run of my time,

It's clear to me

 This must be the sign,

 Its long over due

 Im ready to stand down,

 And let someone else get screwed down,

 Haha have at it

 It's damn sure all you,

 What u waitin on

 There's just so much free shit to do,

 But dont call me cause

 It aint what u thought it'd be,

 You'll find out for yourself

 Just wait and you'll see!

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tags:

DEEP INTO MY BRAIN

 

Deep in the night

 And far into my brain,

 Pass the parts

 Clouded with drugs and shame,

 Pass the parts littered

 With memories and pain,

 Back when things were normal

 And before the insanity came,

 The years they come

 And the years they pass,

 All yall

 Can still kiss my ass,

 Out with the old

 And in with the new,

 Its way to late to change shoes,

 I cant take it back

 It'll never be the way it used to be,

 I wish everyone would

 Back up off me,

 And let me breath,

 Give me alil space thats free!

 
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tags:

YALL AIN'T GOT A CLUE

YALL AINT GOT A CLUE

 

What the fuck

 Where the Hell am I

  I got to get away from here

 Cause yall fuckin up my high

 I cant look at yall

 Looking at me

,I hope death

 Can set me free

, From all this pain

 I hold inside

,No wonder

 I lost my Goddamn mind,

 Yall dont know shit

 Yall aint got a clue

,Of what I've seen

 Or what the fuck I've been thru

 Yall could eat a dick

 And swallow the nutt

, That shit I'm on

 Aint got no cut

 Yall just think Im lost

 With no lack of hope

 U & ur ole' lady will get turned out

 Fuckin with my dope

 You best beleive it

 Before you get shown,

 You would be ate up too

 If you was on what im on,

 

 this is written for Those people that dont know  "THESE PEOPLE" ( the hypracrits that judge drug addicts and aint never had to step in my our shoes.

 

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tags:

Flirting With The Monster

Folder: 
D. E. A. F.

They told me what I should do,

Just leave that man alone.

He ain't no good never will be,

he'll destroy this happy home.

But I needed him despite all that,

but I didn't love him at all.

He took me high and held me there,

I felt like I was ten feet tall.

But he took me on a spiral,

and I wasn't trying to come down.

He'd drop me from 30,000 feet,

and catch me before I hit the ground.

They always say "Don't let no man control you"

But I found myself addicted.

He had my mind tied up in knots,

without him I was writhing in pain, twisted.

We lived and roamed the streets,

With no money and nothing to eat.

But I didn't care as long as I had my monster

He was the sweetest of treats .

Oh he made me make some bad decisions,

But I just couldn't bring myself to leave.

He coddled me and told me lies,

then he forced me to believe.

He showed me how to let loose,

but then he beat me black and blue.

And though I may be getting tired of the monster,

I can't get away, Cuz' I don't know how to.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem is very subtly refering to a drug (crystal meth) known as the monster. But the drug is personified as a man in a way..... So yeah

Patchwork Herbology

At behest of the man who's drowned in the moat;

he thought well of leaves that could keep him afloat.

So gardeners worked to supplant and suffice

in pale, sullen light that was straining their eyes,

and were able to clot the freshwater vein

with acrid greens that splayed like a lion's mane.

 

The caretaker's jest came sudden and flowing:

these foreign shrubs had a fierce way of growing,

and control was waning and not to be had

by the fearfullest man who couldn't be glad.

So brought the trimmers and the matches and lo,

down came the patchwork garden we'd come to know.

 

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Intoxicating Scars

You can't see them on my hand when i make a fist,

All the designs of the blade dragged across my wrist.

Indentations on my elbow that didn't do much harm,

Twenty-four of them I've counted, and that was just my arm.

 

There is one on my face right under my eye,

So if you were to punch me, brown tears i would cry.

Now my foot is broken and they are on my toes,

Why i have been limping, no one really knows.

 

If i could rearrange them, i could spell my name on my knee.

If i was any more depressed the more cuts there would be.

There are dozens across my tummy from when you called me fat.

They form lines down my back so im a rougher mat.

 

You do not know how many because they are covered by my clothes. 

But if you look close enough you can see some near my nose.

There are times when you curse me and i want to cut deep

but if i do, i'll lay down and never wake from sleep.

 

Sometimes i sit back and wonder how long it will take,

before i solve all my problems with the cuts i make.

My friends want to help me but all i have to say 

is "If you truly wish to help me you will stay out of my way."

 

I hate my life so much i only want to cry,

but do not be mistaken i do not wish to die.

When my problems go away and i feel no pain,

I'll stop cutting my arm cloud, and watching red acid rain.

 

When you give back the key to my happiness, locked behind steel bars;

I will throw away my knife and stop with these intoxicating scars.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a poem I wrote last year about seeking comfort in cutting to avoid depression

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