They told me what I should do,
Just leave that man alone.
He ain't no good never will be,
he'll destroy this happy home.
But I needed him despite all that,
but I didn't love him at all.
He took me high and held me there,
I felt like I was ten feet tall.
But he took me on a spiral,
and I wasn't trying to come down.
He'd drop me from 30,000 feet,
and catch me before I hit the ground.
They always say "Don't let no man control you"
But I found myself addicted.
He had my mind tied up in knots,
without him I was writhing in pain, twisted.
We lived and roamed the streets,
With no money and nothing to eat.
But I didn't care as long as I had my monster
He was the sweetest of treats .
Oh he made me make some bad decisions,
But I just couldn't bring myself to leave.
He coddled me and told me lies,
then he forced me to believe.
He showed me how to let loose,
but then he beat me black and blue.
And though I may be getting tired of the monster,
I can't get away, Cuz' I don't know how to.
Gather round! Don't be shy..
Reach inside the bowl.
Don't think too much, just trust your gut.
And reach for pills we stole.
You never know what you may get,
the ultimate surprise.
Just reach right in and pluck one out,
remember to close your eyes.
We've got Ritalin and Beenies,
If you want heart speed to gain.
We've got Oxy and Vikes,
If you're just tryna ease the pain.
If you just wanna chill and slow down
Xanax and Valium may do the trick.
But I suggest Ecstasy and Skippy,
If you wanna give your heart rate a kick!
Pop a molly if you're scared,
or too stressed to sleep.
But maybe you'll get Lunesta,
and get knocked out without a peep.
There are many others,
I just don't know them by name.
But I guess that's the risk you take,
when you play our game.
Come on now don't chicken out,
I told you go with your gut.
NO! Don't be stupid! Not a handful!
You'll be dead before you fall on your butt.
Yes, that's right just grab two,
Now take a swig of Jack.
You must wait for it to start,
just sit still or lie back.
I know you're scared,
At my first time so was I.
But trust me it will be okay,
you know I wouldn't lie.
See I can tell you're feeling better,
I just know don't ask me how.
Just go have fun and join the others,
because I think it's my turn now.
At behest of the man who's drowned in the moat;
he thought well of leaves that could keep him afloat.
So gardeners worked to supplant and suffice
in pale, sullen light that was straining their eyes,
and were able to clot the freshwater vein
with acrid greens that splayed like a lion's mane.
The caretaker's jest came sudden and flowing:
these foreign shrubs had a fierce way of growing,
and control was waning and not to be had
by the fearfullest man who couldn't be glad.
So brought the trimmers and the matches and lo,
down came the patchwork garden we'd come to know.
aches & pains sever the line.
the train i've been tryin' to ride,
came off the tracks.
so here I am,
i'll just sit back on this dirt ground,
the air is thick with fog, while the sky cries,
there's a blue & black cloud bringin' me down..
money burning all around, while you starve & whine-
out of food now.. without love you've spent too much time.
i'm not a mother fucking slot machine,
so quit shoving in your two, three, four, five cents,
i'll spit it right back out!
while you're at home, feeding your addictions..
greed, alcohol, drugs & sex..
i'll be taking care of all these convictions.
you're not good at fuckin manipulation,
cause in your words I can taste it,
the lies you've coughed out,
fucking corn syrup, cough syrup,
preservatives, fucking sick shit.
disgusting scent, you reek of dishonesty.
I never believed in you, cause you never believed in me.
i'll be gone before you can count to 3..
never again will you see me..
blind, kind, innocent blackness seeping into your mind..
darkness consumes, your night is full of gloom.
into the heavens you cannot see,
because the pits of hell have taken over,
run away, lest it devours me.
sorry I couldn't help you,
the rope you tied around my neck got worn & broke.
so to this i'll take a toke,
the sheets were torn,
your eyes bled melting plastic,
& your heart withered in scorn...
Been on this journey for far too long
But somehow stood still all along
I've lost my map and can't see land
Stranded for years out at sea man
I pray the lord extends a free hand
And I can envision THE plan
But spoken words are easier than actions
When it's time to act I fall prey to distractions
Can't help but wonder if it'll ever happen
Or am I destined for pain everlasting?
Each day I live this life
I know I'm not living right
I can't even call what I'm doing living
That's an insult to the gift I was given
I want my real life back where the colors are vivid
As my pen hits the pad, my morals now a kleptomaniac
They've stolen my spirit, begging myself to give it back.
I found my daughter dead today with a needle in her arm,
I thought I taught her right from wrong to shield her from such harm.
Authorities preach “Just Say No!”. Do they simply play the “game”?
Society yields a great cash flow…their naivety a shame.
Egos argue a dollar bill amount….
As innocent lives don’t seem to count….
A man decays behind steel bars…
He pays for his mistakes…. And ours.
The fight goes on…
What’s right?
What’s wrong?
The lesson’s learned.
Be careful what and how you enjoy.
This life….so brief….is not a toy….
…….I found my daughter dead today.
© 2002
Edited by a Title Change 2013 ©
the man lived his life, in the end, became a sad story..
wishing for her...
his morning glory.
loneliness was his plague..
walking along the concrete, his shadow amplified his defeat..
a pill for each sorrow..
doesn't care to wake for anything tomorrow..
will he ever be able to see her smile again..?
the guitar was his outlet..
& precious was his long hair, a golden crown..
like an angel to all around..
but the demons took his hand...
promised a better land, as they dragged him down...
robbed him of all his color...
he gripped tightly to what was left..
but grace slipped through his finger tips...
pages, chapters, paper & writing..
short lived escape route..
books were some of his closest friends..
little did he know, how I worried about him..
wish I could of done better..
though I was just a child, it all feels the same to me..
like I watched his growing disease of depression make progression...
the darkness overwhelmed him, & choked him in his sleep...
I knew it was the day..
& after that, I myself haven't longed to awake in the morning...
every night I doze off, tossing & turning..
I feel like i'll wake up to someone dead..
The air was thick
Your lungs were full
The smoke never went away
You just continued to pull
One line down
This powder was gold
You said you could go forever
You said this never gets old
The needle went in
And your soul poured out
You said you had problems
Just to many to count
As the bottle stood empty
You screamed and freaked
Those bottles are your life
Pills is all you will ever need
They werent just drugs
They were your everything
You didn't care about us
Its like pleasure was something we couldnt bring
We tried to help you
But you wouldn't see
You said it was fun
While you sat there to bleed
We hadn't heard from you
It was quite a few days
We went to your house
And you were still dazed
You took to much
Your heart couldn't take it
Your head was down
Your hands were shaking
How can you not know
what this has done to you?
Your down on your knees
Its your time to go
Your names been missing
Your just a shadow
Thoughts keep circling
Your lost when it comes to battle
The blood soaked needle
Now dirty and dry
Fills in the light
To your lifeless lies
The battle scars of yesterday
No where near to fade
You keep crying out
But everything remains the same
So excuse me Miss
Your life isn't so bright
Sit down here
While your lies dance in the light
The soft singing has faded
No one likes it anymore
The window is broken
She's laying on the floor
Her tear damped face
No longer filled with beauty
Life isn't a race
But you flew right through me