Desire Fire

My Love

“Pitch black all around
Was how my life looked
Until you came into it
And brought me light.”

Nah, that’s too cliché

How about:
“I was just fine
Before I met you
And I didn’t even like you much at first
I thought you were cute
But I didn’t like your attitude
Yet you grew on me
Like a rose growing onto a stone wall
But the closer I got to you
The more I could feel the heat of a fire out of my control
It wasn’t that you loved me
It is just your personality
To burn those closest to you
But I couldn’t leave
I had fallen for the flames
And though I sometimes danced in your inferno
I couldn’t help but to come out burned

We’re opposites, you and I
For where you burn
I am ice-cold
So it didn’t hurt me when you left
Not as much as you would’ve felt
But I still want you back
It’s not a pain
But an ache
And the only thing that can melt my heart,
That can teach me to love again
Is you.”

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Just A Dream

Light and Dark

Swirling phantasms all around me
Death and life both in accord
Time is years in seconds counting
And yet no time I can afford

A flash, a face
A twinge of feeling
Just a second
Sends my heart reeling
The old scars
I thought were healing
Suddenly open
And start bleeding

I can’t take it
My heart breaks
All I want is your embrace
Please come back
Don’t leave me here
Don’t leave me to the void I fear

Time is fading, eternity ending
Daylight’s footfalls at the door
Reaching out so you can save me
Just a dream, nothing more.

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Of the disheveled remnants of horrific encounters,
Of the shadow caste, fabricated in haunted recesses of our minds,
Worries, fears, nightmares; block everything but misery,
An amalgam, this horrendous brood of all kinds

Shaking, shaking hysterically, fear uncontrolled.
Frightened and frozen we linger, trapped, alone
Sweating tears of blood; smells of rotten flesh,
A presence, abhorrent; our skin crawls away from the unknown

Hands! Paralyzed, heat leeched away,
Cold! Eyes wide, spasms; waves of pain,
No air; can’t breathe, erratic bass sounds in our ears;
Struggling, must break free, straining…strain…

Alert, awake, upright in bed.
Sweat beads on your skin,
Still frightened, senses still heightened,
Terror. Horror’s conjoint kin.

Silence makes her appearance,
Limbs filled with needle and pin,
Lying back down to sleep,
Trying to avoid dreaming again.

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I want YOU


If we were on another level we could be together, on another plane where no one can interfere.
We could disappear & you would be mine. I would make you mine if I could, but we only exist here.
It would be perfect woven patterns of beautiful dreams, something not so surreal.
I yearn to be with you and my heart is burning with desire, where are you?
I walk around like a lemming following anyone around that will lead me to you.
I dare not even turn the music on while I search, the sound is too painful.
When I look into your mesmerizing blue eyes it’s like being dropped into freezing water and all I see are the explosions of our undying love sparkling throughout.
Just the thought of seeing your face again gives me the strength of 1000 men, courage of a lion, riches that have no price tags.
It's unbelievable what I would do just to hold you again, to smell you, kiss you.
Being without you it's like being in a bad dream, I am so small and the world around me is immense.
It's like being under the water and looking out trapped inside.
It contradicts the freezing water and now I'm burning but the desire is gone because you stole it bitch.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

not done

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Time & Dreams

Just For Fun

A realm which holds space, matter, life
A giant force that controls everything
The death of nations
The birth of children
The ageing and growing of life
The erosion of the earth
The degradation of society
The reaper of souls
And the house of love, life, youth, and happiness

The only thing that time cannot touch, is dreams
Dreams are time in no time at all
In a dream you can live a lifetime, to wake in 10 minutes
Or live just a moment, to wake up years later
Dreams are emotions
They are desires
They are our will manifested as we want it to be
They are when we play God
They are windows to timelessness
Dreams are where we see the past
Where we clarify the present
And even, where we glimpse the future
Gateways to eternity
Mirrors of our psyches
Doorway to the world

Sweet Dreams

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COINCIDENCE June 15, 2012

A few days ago I had 3 dreams. And all three dreams turned out to be true. Well, sort of. I can only remember two right now but I know there was a 3rd one. One I dreamed that my cat, baby girl, got outside. And I woke up to find that she did get out while I was sleeping. Another one I dreamed that I wanted some spaghetti. And in my dream I asked Lori "Do you want that left over spaghetti?" And she said "My mom makes me line up or stack all the toilet paper perfectly" Then I proceeded to ask Jeff if he wanted the last of the spaghetti. Then I woke up to find Jeff eating the last of the spaghetti, lol. And mind you I can't smell for the life of me, due to my sinuses. So I did not smell it in my sleep. I couldn't even smell it when I woke up. And later on that day Lori told me that the lady she worked for would make her line up or stack the toilet paper perfectly. lol. wtf.

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OK, here was my nightmare:

I was in this house that had a basement and in the basement were stairs that led to an attic like place. The basment was haunted and so scary. I was terrified to even be next to the basement door. I followed this old lady down into the basment and up these stairs into the attic. There was a living room there with two couches and two chairs. I sat up there with the old lady and all of a sudden I felt a cut on my cheek and instead of the blood running down my cheek it ran up my cheek and the old lady was like "Oh they got you too, it happens to me all the time."

Then my mom and three other old people came up there with us and sat down. They said they wanted to play a game and they all pulled out guns and started shooting eachother. Then this HUGE black dude came upstairs with a GIANT ax and chopped the old dude sitting in the chair next to me in half! I screamed and ran out this door which lead to this hill outside.

As I ran out there were tons of people following me, running in fear too. Jeff was there as well. I finally went back to the basement and discovered that my mom was missing an arm and it was all bloody as hell. There were nurses there and they were making us stick out hands in this jar-like thing full of bullet ants. It hurt but they said it was for our own good. When we got back into the house I walked into the bed room and discovered Jeff in bed with a 15 year old. He said he had been cheating on me with her for 6 months. I started to cry and beg to him telling him that I loved him so much no matter what he did. And he got pissed and this teenager, who was his friend in my dream, started telling him that I was a bitch and he should kill me.

Then there was gun fire coming from everywhere and everyone started running and I could see Jeff and that teenager coming after me with a gun. Then Jeff shot me in the back. I finally got away from him and met this woman who took me to this other woman's house where she said she could fix my wound. So she did but I was still scared shitless.

Then all of a sudden all those people came into the house and were still running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I saw Jeff and the teenager and hid under these stairs, my heart was pounding. Then Jeff and the teenager saw me and Jeff poitned the gun right at me and I kept saying "why are you doing this? I love you so much please don't do this!" Then he shot me in the head and I fell to the floor but I was still alive. I played dead untill he was gone, or so I thought. When I got up he saw me and ran towards me and held the gun to my face. I broke down. And cried and cried and cried, and begged for my life and I kept telling him "I love you, please don't kill me, I Love You.".Then there was a struggle. Then I hear "BANG!!!" That's when I woke up.

It all seemed so real too. I never want to have that dream ever again!

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A Dream beyond Reach July 5, 2005

A Dream beyond Reach July 5, 2005

Verse1: I close my eyes…
Envisioning all
That surrounds me…
A dream beyond reach,
Deepening within
The void of my heart.

Chorus: Thoughts fleeting across my mind
(A mantra in hand, signified).
After-images that never seem to wash away.
(A silent breeze shall do it justice).
If nothing shall come of it,
Then why shall I just go on putting a mask
To disguise the apparent dissatisfaction
Present and lingering within me?!
(Logic for which is transferred from
Across the other side).
Loneliness ain’t a problem for me.
Then why, why must the prevailing
Thought and sense be equivalent
To that of being lonely atop
Presumes to be a constant and
Never-ending dream beyond reach?

Verse2: Even a fanciful dream beyond reach
Satisfies one’s cure for isolation.
A feeling of depression,
Lingering in the air…
“If one shall succeed, then
One must sacrifice optimism for
A dream beyond reach”.
(Throw away optimism for pessimism)…
“If one shall fail, then one is
Being too overly confident”.
(Let go of pride and optimism
To let pessimism prevail).
Optimism leads to failure.
Will you whisper a philosophy into my ear?

Bridge: A wise prophet once informed me
Of these sad and depressing realities of life.
(The facts of life, if I’m not mistaken)…
It just took me a while to figure out just
Where the underlying causes for the sad
And depressing truth shines true.
Will the illumination beyond the tunnel
Be sufficient enough for the navigation
Of a dream beyond reach?
A moment for which,
The world currently resides.
Will you whisper a philosophy into my ear?

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The Poet

No, the poet does not strive to "make 
the reader understand." The reader (that 
intangible abstraction) cannot mold

the poet's path, the poem which, of itself, 
is born upon the page, chasing nothing 
but its own sweet dream. It is I, tangible, 

individual reader, who must rise 
to exigencies the poem dares me 
try and find significant—it is I, 

always I, must climb the heights the poem 
lures me climb, with all due dangers posed, 
all delights unveiled before my eyes,

until finally I have found the path, and made
myself worthy of the poem's infinite beauty 
and deep significance.

It is then the poem will open up its calyx,
give off its fragrance and sweet scent,
to transform our lives with unspeakable,
sublime Wonder.