November.26.2002

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

The things you say 

But dont ever do

Are the ones that hurt in every way

It's rude to make me sit here and wait for you

If I had to hold my breath I would be blue

Remembering all the promises you said

This is confusing me

That I wish you knew

If you say your going to call

Then you must see it through

Instead I sit here like an ass and wait 

For the phone to ring 

Your lies I really hate 

Calling? You still have not done

I guess with your heart

I really haven't won

Once again mine is falling apart

I wonder if you care

That your causing all this pain

I thought it was okay 

With my true feelings to share 

But I live with your lies another day

And your attitude remains the same 

As I sit here and cry

Your most likely playing your game

You know...I should of let my soul die

Because all you care about is fame

It is almost five

And still no call

I wish I didn't let my heart come alive

You..I wish I never saw

Things you say

You never come through with it 

Or you make it for another day

Which that's just bull shit

You shouldn't treat someone you care about this way

Its just not right

To show affection one minute and not the next

These tears I'm trying to fight

I'm trying not to put a hex

On your pit a full heart

As you did with me that night

The things you dont live up to 

Its not fair to me 

Because I am opening up to you

I should of kept everything inside left everything be

I should of kept these feelings hidden

I shouldn't of set them free

I knew it was forbidden

Things you say but dont do

I hope this is a faze you're going through

And soon it will be okay

To love and care for you

Like the other day

But still the things you do

Are not what you stay to

You never see them through

You wait to the very last minute

Or you completely forget about it

This pain inside you caused I wish you could feel

I wish to my heart you could be real

But the things you say

You never do

So I'm going to put my heart away

For someone else who is true

One who will see things through

One with me 

Who'll always by my side stay

And never set my heart free

Copyright

I got too excited

Reading what you texted

I loved the way you said it

I loved the way you did it

So, I pulled myself running

Pushed my phone, heard yours ringing

I waited for you to pick it up

I heard how you just shut it up

My friend said I shouldn't give up

Kept trying 'til you picked it up

I was overjoyed

That I'd hear your voice

You said you were so busy

I waited 'til you were free

But the phone call never lasted

That one minute left me haunted

It was the worst one I ever had

It made me not happy but just sad

You could never fool me

The next time you'd ask me

I gave you my time

I thought you'd do the same for me

I thought you'd be mine

I now know the blame is on me

If you gaze at a nature long enough,

You will clearly see

How beauty is born

When we synchronize outer change

With inner transformation.

Transformation is always

Gently knocking on the door,

Asking permission,

Offering growth. 

If you listen

Listen and you can hear it.

Hear it?                                                                                                                           

Change comes upon us

Like the sun at dawn,

Like the moon

In the stillness

Of the night.

Transformation happens

When we allow it to be

In sync

With change.

When we allow ourselves to be what we truly  are.

We are at one with nature.

You are on the other line. 

                                                                                                                    Answer the call.

                                                                                                                                                                        ©2012

You call me up again tonight
You only call when you need something
I wonder what it is this time

I remember all those things clearly
Not long ago, you used to call me honey
But it's until you found new toy to play with

I was such a fool
When I fell hard for you
You used me as a tool

But don't worry it was the past
I knew it would never last
I'm lucky I woke up fast

'Cause I won't listen to you anymore
I don't want to hear your crooked voice
No, even if you knock thrice on my door

Try and call me now
This time I'll be very cruel
Tell the things I wish you knew

Pull out your usual lines
I've heard them many times
This time I won't be nice

She runs into her room,
Slams the door,
Throwing her phone on the unkept bed,
As she opened the dresser,
Within seconds the silver slipped,
Causing her pain and sorrow to run out,
Misleadingly red,
The flash of light caught her eye,
It came from by the blanket,
With a  shaky hand she reached out,
His name flashing across the screen,
While answering she burst into tears,
The knife slipped from her grasp,
When he asked what was wrong,
She saw what she did,
To the smiling girl,
She saw what he did,
With his call to save a life. 

I am sick of waiting on a call that will never come
Praying it will end the way it begun
I hate the feeling, twisted and deranged
Not excepting the fact; you will never change
I mistakingly missed my exit cue
Somehow forever obsessed with me and you
Unclear in many subtle ways
the relationship we had, forever a daze
Things will never be the way they should
Forget you...I only wish I could

That Secret Call

I feel the dream of you
when you are gone
Soft golden twilight
falls on your song
And I surrender to that face
That fills the sky above this place
of love

And when the soul is over
And when your eyes leave mine
And when you walk into tomorrow
I will say
the secret sign

So lets kiss the wings of sorrow
So lets soar without a fall
Lets float away, this deathless day
So lets hear
that secret call

I've always felt
the dream of you
I've never heard the snow
I've never heard the autumn leaves
Decending
as dust of memories
And they howl inside
the fortress of my heart
Yes, you live within
the fortress
Of my
heart