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Winter poem   Broken like a snow flake once it reaches its only goal, to stop falling.   It can never be the same again and falling is inevitable.   Consumed by everything in its reach.   Much like us, it is only a matter of time before we break; falling is inevitable going through life.   Like a fragile sheet of glass, once you break you will never be complete again.   Always feeling like your missing apart of yourself.   You continue trying to fill the cracks with pieces but it is never truly whole again.   You feel lost, weaken, lesser of a person and more like an anomaly.   Just like a snow flake can’t help but fall we can’t help but get back up, while losing a piece of our self each time.   Once a snowflake breaks apart enough it fades into nothing.   How much of one’s self can you lose before you are no longer who you were. T. T

The Endless Cycle

© 2017 SachikoMochiko

 

 

Every mistake, loss, failure or breakdown…it’s your choice whether or not to suffer from it.

 

 

“I am a human. Just like you and me. I’m young, 13 years of age, but I already feel old. I have learnt that, whatever situation you are in now, it’s temporary. So, enjoy or endure it to the fullest!

 

Whether is another human, your passion or yourself, you fall for it.  This poem I wrote is inspired by both my life and my fellow friends who write with me, sharing their stories. There are many different ways to view this poem. I spent many hours choosing how to structure this and the word choice. I wanted to share this to people who can relate and inspire other writers.”

 

 

 

I’m absolutely sick of falling

 

Falling in love and making the same mistake

 

Eaten by jealousy

 

Thinking that it would work 

 

Even when that person who I sought, 

 

Catches another

 

Thinking that they want you

 

Even if the kindness expressed is just…

 

Them.

 

 

Whenever I fall,

 

And no one sought me

 

I fall into a deep, cold abyss

 

Isolating both heart and body

 

From this rotting world

 

Suffocating me and myself

 

From thinking that I will fall again

 

 

But again, I find peace at the bottom…

 

Sitting just above the bedrock of grief 

 

Where your screams of heart break 

 

Is muted by the sea of tears

 

 

 

But I hunger to fall 

 

To seek for another cradle of arms

 

 

After craving for so long

 

I trick myself

 

That my heart has moved on

 

To someone for me

 

But deep, deep down…

 

I know it is just a mask

 

A mask to cover the disheartening pain

 

And to keep me sane

 

As I walk amongst the beings

 

 

 

It’s an endless cycle…

 

 

 

A cycle that is deemed to run my world

 

My kingdom,

 

My psyche,

 

My crust,

 

Like a wheel with a tempting needle 

 

Waiting to cast me to sleep

 

As it wheels me away to again start the cycle

 

 

 

Even if my consciousness is aware 

 

I shrug it off thinking I’m happily a rolling pebble

 

A rolling pebble that has been dropped

 

Dropped into a saltwater sea of fish

 

Where plenty of fish swim to escape

 

Escape the rotting world above

 

 

 

I’m a pebble after all

 

I was meant to sink to the bottom

 

Or be split in half by the fish

 

 

But as the hundreds and thousands of centuries

 

Wear me down

 

My calloused, guarded heart cracks open

 

As the pressure of the rotting earth

 

I. Become. The. Diamond.

 

It was not long after,

 

I was extracted from the bedrock of grief

 

HEATED…

 

POLISHED…

 

Until the skin of this pebble

 

Peels like those onion that brought tears to my eyes

 

 

Someone has found the brightest part of me

 

Someone has found my beauty

 

Someone has also fallen…like me

 

In a mere emotion with two sides

 

 

Well, congratulations that someone

 

Because you have found a rare one

 

Only one here on this earth

 

My mere gratitude cannot express…

 

Express how undeniably grateful I am

 

===

The two of us creates another;

 

“I’m absolutely sick of falling”,

 

 

 

-SachikoMochiko

Suicide isn't a Thank You

 

SachikoMochiko & SinisterPotatoe (Jack)

 

“Jack!” my heart falls into a deep, dark, cold abyss as saltwater crystals rush like a waterfall down my cheeks. He ended it. Officers held me back, refraining me from attending his bloody body…his soul has left.

 

Three months’ post-Jack’s departure, I scuffle his belongings. The old apartment was dewy and rusty at the same time. My calloused fingertips hover past a dusty paper. Hidden. Hidden behind his mirror. I carefully unfold the dust-magnet flat. A poem:

 

From the hollow pit of my emotions, I’ve reached the end

 

The end, that determines my fate…

 

I’ve reached the end, my only friend

 

The end, that leaves me bent

=

 

Around the bend, regards have been sent

 

The very bend left the very dent

 

As I fend off the reality…I’m bent

 

=

 

O’ since the blood drips to my fingertips

 

We struggle…I struggle

 

I know it’s hard, we’ve come so far, but everything will eventually be over

 

Like a story…all stories end, eh?

 

So, I’ll be the one to end it

 

=

 

What goes up must come down…it’s the law

 

But the law isn’t any determinant…

 

We protect the law, right?

 

==

 

Shhh…

--

 

Before my empty shell is found dead

 

Before my empty shell, where my soul left, morphs back to the Earth…where I belong

 

 I promise not to frown

 

 If you’re still in town, I beg you visit my grave,

 

 but I’m sorry my sadness wasn’t a faze

 

And if your soul is more than grazed by my departure

 

Know that through all the torture and the pain,

 

Through all the blood, the tears and the wails…

 

 you were the one who kept me sane

 

==

 

Surely, this is an excuse

 

Well, my only friend…

 

I am mistaken, I am not bent

 

I am not dented

 

But I am broken…unable to function anymore,

 

in this beautifully rotten world

 

=

 

Sunshine or rain, I beg you to refrain from crying,

 

 because at least, I am healed through death

 

I’m biding my holy time, with every new rhyme it’s a struggle. I can’t smuggle happiness back into my life…

 

It’s against the law…the laws that I wrote inside my young, naïve mind

 

The very laws that kept me in this cage

 

With all this baggage and luggage, I act like I’m at peace

 

At heart, I’m being weighed down by myself

 

I pound at the barrier between me and others, my prison,

 

I’m chained and bound, pulled down, buried in the mud, I was forgotten

 

But I’ve risen above it

 

I love it, life, and every knife in the back has brought me a crack in the wall,

 

however small, someday I’ll break free

 

I’ve brought forth emotions that have sought to honor the ones who never run from my side

 

I don’t abide by reasons to cry unless they are tears of joy or a new way to get stronger

 

When I rot, when my body is nothing but issue

 

a goner north of my goals, dead in my hole at least I’ll know my soul was honorable

 

And if your sad, don’t be

 

I know you think suicide isn’t a thank you, but it’s a sign of escape

 

Escape from this prison that binds me…

 

Twists me…

 

Bends me…

 

Breaks me…

 

Have faith, my honors always been a stake, don’t worry, fake words, tongues that lie will eventually break

 

===

After all, what goes up must come down

 

 

And when that happens you will no longer frown, stick around and keep your mouth shut until you have the right to speak

 

Because suicide may kill me, and weak freaks are fodder for lies, and propaganda flies its flag until the target dies, but words won’t kill the truth

 

And even though I’ll never know it, you will, write the story, and don’t worry about me

 

I’m already free

 

-Jack

 

Once again, saltwater crystals flow down my cheeks. By not like a harsh waterfall, but like little fairy steps, tickling down my sullen flesh.

 

“May your soul be free”

 

 

 

 

This is an extended version of SinisterPotatoes (Jack) original poem Suicide isn't a Thank You. See it here: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/SinisterPotatoe/1972625/

Hope you like it! (especially you sir, SinisterPotatoe (Jack))

“Her Glacier” 

 

Laying down on the shattered glass

I breathe in the shards

Letting the seeping blood drip

 

DRIP...DROP…

 

The ripples resonate and echo,

On the disheartened, crying ice

Eyes… dropping… crystals

Covered my saddened heart

Who, I scream a silent, dry scream,

as if I am in space, underwater

 

To my weeping eyes, “I am sorry for the wasted tears.”

I whisper to the silence, with my vivid vision

The vivid vision blurred by the saltwater tears

Can only see the back of the person I loved

FADE…into the mist of tears

 

The ice that weeps with me, from my ripped feet,

Shatters as I am taken to the abyss…

The very abyss of my own heart

 

I, slowly taken down, down…as I struggle against,

Against the deathly, cold water

As the rose thorns grasp my feet…they take me

To pitch-dark black,

Further…deeper…deeper

To the prison I made myself

 

Here at the ocean floor,

The place that is made out of my own tears

I wait…where the ashes remain

As I hope the pressure of the seven seas

Of my own heart, turns me into diamonds

 

The other part of me, who lives much above me

Where the snow punches your ragged skin,

In the heart of the land of fire and ice,

Awaits, in the concave of a glacier…

 

Aimlessly around the blue glass tsunami,

Breathing in the untainted, crisp cool air

Eyes floating aimlessly

Eyes twinkling endlessly

 

This slow walking giant, taking centuries for each step

Covers the land with its azure ice like a blanket

Treading on the works of any weathering

Glitters with streaks of endless blue…

 

 

O’ the beauty of the blue streaks!

Each a different shade,

Describes the indescribable

His exquisite beauty,

 

Walls as waves and ripples

Of water that has been frozen in time

Forms those very streaks!

Sapphire, Tiffany, Sky, Zaffre, Royal, Navy, Azure and Midnight blue

In bliss…all dancing merrily in this very cave

…an ultimate Eternal Dance

 

She, white light, origin of the viva Earth

Smiles through His crystal

Giving colour and light to His life

Givin’ His form…the Blue Crystal Tsunami.

 

Romance, like lovers, waltzing

even if one of them…will not make it ‘till the end

even if one of them…is slowly killing the other

She, who gives beauty to the giant

I, who lives way below them,

cannot compete…

 

A warm-blooded creature of the land…

It, who decides to wander inside…

runs Its hands on the mosaic of blue

To It, the ice seems to glide

As the twinkling light of the crystal cave winks…

Picturing the two together…

 

Below the glacier " inside the very cave- lays a beach

Crystal…His…Tears

O’ the beach of his tears…when he weeps with me

Slowly melting away

 

Either way,

His blue is much apart from mine,

Sleeplessly, I lay down on the shattered glass

Endlessly, breathing in the stabbing shards

As I accept my fate…way below Him

 

“Him.” “Blue Glass Tsunami” = Vatnajökull glacier cave, Iceland

“The Land of Fire and Ice” = Iceland. Iceland is known to have volcanoes next to glaciers.

“White light, Origin of the viva Earth” “She” = Sun

“Beach of his tears” = A ‘beach’ located in the cave itself. The sand is made out of ‘crystal’.

“A warm-blooded creature of the land” = A person. Human

“Pictures them together” = Takes a picture of the cave with a camera

“Even if one of them…is slowly killing the other” = The sun is melting the ice

“I” = A landform that sunk to the bottom of the sea, just below the cave. (i.e. ‘the third wheel’)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         “…and here I wait. For her glacier. Who I knew will never come”

Break,

The tie,

Which does not,

Respect you whatsoever,

 

Awake!

If dire the time-honoured rule is,

If awfully vicious it does sound,

As that of the ‘widow burning’ or sati,

HUMANITY hangs around!

 

No matter how sturdy the vice is,

No matter how evil in nature,

A shocking doom it has to stumble upon!

It has to ruin at a certain juncture.

 

Humanity prevails in the end,

 

It is ordained to win, meant to distend!

 

I am, have always been longing for you

For your company, your touch.., a lingering longing that’s pure and true

Did you ever even consider the fact that I was only there for you….

 

Perhaps not….

Who knows.... maybe you forgot

What we had

You must’ve, why else would you want me sad

 

You cast a shadow over my soul

Crushed my heart into tiny pieces ….. And it was whole

Why did you choose to ice-up and ignore

Why leave me there by the door… or did you want me lying…. kicking on the floor

 

I have never felt so unwanted...

Never so insulted

Never so embarrassed

Just by being ignored...as if I wasn’t’ even present, my only worth …..To be taunted.

 

Now you’ve left me with a lingering… longing …..To not be

With a feeling that you want me to wipe out all memories of you and me

How cruel and uncompassionate can one human be…?

 

What have I done to deserve this ….I plea

 

 

Written by

Dlr

I could search for a million years, i would still never find the correct words.
And the one thing i fear the most is that my true feelings will never be heard by you
You'll never know how much i care and how much your love means to me

I could walk all around the world, and i still would never find the words because the feeling i feel inside my heart is a feeling that has never been felt
I'm so deep in love, it's never been so hard to say the way i feel

I wish i could run away with you, far away to a place where there'll be angels who'll describe to you the way i feel
Feel for you, feel about you
I'd pick a Sunday to run away with you
Because the angels would totally be there at the disposal of you and me
The reason i need the angels to talk to you for me is that you're an angel yourself.. my angel
So maybe you'll understand the angels when they tell you how i feel

Pity the man, who sears his conscience,
He who loses sense of right,
They that plot another’s destruction,
There is no rest for the wicked.

Justice to the man, who kills his neighbor,
Judgment of God will fall on his head,
Pity to those whose light is darkness,
There is no rest for the wicked.

Pray for the man, whose way is lost,
Speak to those who don’t know right,
Seize the day, send them rest,
For there is no rest for the wicked.