Anxiety

Insomnia

Folder: 
2010-2012 Poems

"Sleep"-Oh how I miss thee!
Sleep, you came and you left
Without cradling me...

I toss and turn, refuge in a ruffled burrow.
Shadows underneath the eyes,
Awake on a restless pillow.

Sleep! Your absence makes me weep...
Bring peace to this tired consciousness,
I've lost count of the sheep.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

-(c)jerlin 10Oct11 - insomia attacks on 'auth season'

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Depression

You kill yourself 'cause no one cares
Tearing yourself up at the seams
Just another day and everything's still fucked
You hate the world around and hope they all can go to hell
No one understands why you do the things you do

Destroy yourself in the heat of the moment
Momentary pleasure is a virtue for your soul
Put walls around yourself so no one can see the scars
Put on a show for all the people
Make them think that you're okay when they all know you're not

You hate yourself for everything you do
You wonder if the world would be better without your useless self
Hating every moment and begging that it might stop

Sprawled upon your bed your thoughts hit you like a freight train
One hundred mile per hour anxious thoughts that don't seem to stop
You hate yourself and the people who do you wrong
You want them to be mangled and hurt

Scared for the confrontation where you both stare awkwardly away
And hope that you don't have to say a word
For the only things you have to say to her are to fuck off and leave me alone

Hatred for society, hatred for the government
They're never right anyway
Hatred for your traitors, hatred for your own selfish needs
Psychological addiction killing you slowly day by day
The world spins and you hope to leave for another world.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Pretty self explanatory. It's just talking about feelings that I've felt and things that I've been through in the last few months.

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Drought In My Head

I need time to solidify.
Everything is so dry,
Cracks pierce the crust.

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Stuck in a Thought

Folder: 
Assorted Stuff

What is this that’s happening to me
Is this what people call anxiety
Crawling out of my own skin
I feel it begin
I don’t even feel like I’m really here
Lost in my thoughts plagued by my fears
Am I imaginary, is this whole world an illusion
Insanity sets in as I play with my delusion
Am I crazy, schizo, just plain psychotic?
Try to grasp sane thoughts but it’s pretty chaotic
My heads a mess, my hearts beating out of my chest
Need to calm down but forgot how to rest
I’m in distress S.O.S
Please send help fast
I’m not sure how long I can last

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