probably shouldn’t

be basing my actions

on everything he didn’t do

but honestly I’m just looking for something to prove

I just want to care about right now


I spend time out of the moment and half in your memory

I want to be remembered like that

I wish I could be that beautiful


still yesterday takes up too much space

and I spend time diving there when you’re not looking

out of air,

I hope you will breathe love into me


probably shouldn’t

be crying again

at the same old fucking things

but honestly I just want to know

how can I love you better

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 10/30/20

this was quite a day

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