Mark On My Heart

Band Lyrics

Verse 1:
I cannot get you off my mind.

Those words you said:
Were they just beautiful lies?

Did you sell me an illusion

To believe in the dream of our future?

All I know is that

You left a mark on my heart.

Our spirits and souls are caged in together.


You tell me you trust me

Yet, your actions speak otherwise.

Why are you hiding behind your lies?

You are selling yourself short.

You’re not living until you are

Sure of what you want from me.

Tell me: What do you want from me?

You built up these false hopes

Yet, I keep coming back for more.


Verse 2:

All I know is that

You left a mark on my heart.

I cannot just let this go so easily.

Out of all my exes:
You are surely worth it.
You are worth the storms that follow.

Wherever you are, I will be too.

You taught me to love

In this harsh world.



Tell me: where do we go from here?

I know how deep and true your love is.

Though, this is accepted,

I know we are inertia.

Someone has to force us to be together.

Right here, right now,

We are the only ones that matter.

Right here, right now,

We can break free from what we except

Author's Notes/Comments: 

About a love that you cannot get out of your mind, heart, and soul.

My Partner



He is my king

He loves with pride

My second wing

I dare not hide


We are not the same

We grew up far

Unwilling fate has came

And I found my star


Upon first glance

We were destined to be

We took our chance

In a path I couldn’t see


From city to city

They saw our love 

So bright and pretty

Like from up above


This man you know

He is my rock

I see him, I glow

Destined for wedlock 


Us against the world

We were once brave

Our struggles twirled 

One could not save


I try and try

To be a good friend 

We start over from hi

But our love couldn’t end


Ladrecus Shepard

The name engraved 

Our times unmeasured

Let us be saved


I ask you please let us be

Give our hearts a break

Why can’t we see 

We don’t need to ache


And if you wonder

He is my only friend

My true partner

Until the very end.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was written for my first and my last love. 

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Writing on the Wall


When have we not gone on

dancing this promise

fighting this darkness with fire

that might burn us

but it’s not going to

take us apart


When have we not known that

words could cut us

but we have used them to

build us up too


All the writings on the wall

are me screaming your name

so even when we’re falling

we don’t have to lose


Sometimes I think I write too much

about taking things apart

and not enough about building them

and maybe that is why I love you like I love sunsets

why the pieces of me are pieces of you


When have we not known

we are cracked and rootless

but intertwined we keep shadowing maybe


When have we not seen

worlds in monsters

we take one look in their eyes and

you are home


But my handwriting keeps filling up your walls

like you don’t want to get rid of me

like even if you did it would take a lifetime to learn

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/9/19

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It only takes a whisper

To break an eternity of silence

It only takes hope

To dispel a world of fear

It only takes love

To erase a history of hatred

It only takes a touch

To wipe away a tear

Musing: sex things everyone should try at least once

Delayed ejaculation Suppose that you do not have a second of extra time to study all of that tantric nonsense, there is still a way to make yourself better in sex. Every man should be able to run a marathon if needs be, and this is the way to do. 

You must master at least 3 positions. The usual options of “sleeping”, “smoking” and “scrolling twitter” should not be taken into account. There is nothing worse than to do it in the same exact position every single time, improvise, or don’t, just don’t make sex into something boring and unexciting. 

Massage - A little bit of cool cream on a palm and some stroking motions is the way to go. There should be minimum pressure and a maximum of tactile pleasures. Hiring a professional masseur is just not the same, it’s about intimacy. 

Ribbed condoms - you just had to try it! Needless to say, a man will not get anything out of them, but a woman may find this new feeling quite interesting, also, ribbed condoms seem to be better for prolonged periods of sex. 

How about a threesome? Yeah, it can be scary to propose something like that to your friend, but it is fun. In this case, it is not necessary to be especially persistent and to put the plans into practice by force, you cannot force a person into sex, that is called rape. But it’s worth a try, isn't it?  

If you find the idea of having a threesome interesting, then check out these MFF positions that you should certainly try out in the future. 

Clean up your bedroom You should throw away all of the garbage that is limiting you in any way. Also, throw away or at least move the things that seem to constantly distract you from the process. 

Mutual masturbation - Sex experts assure that this practice greatly contributes to a better awareness of each other’s erogenous zones, establishing psychological contact and improving your relationships. This can be a very productive experience, mutual sexual exploration is always fun and always brings results. 

Free oral sex - This thing requires dedication and selflessness. But shouldn't you try to give your partner oral sex without the demands of the same in return at least once to look like a caring and loving partner? Perhaps your partner will tell their friends about it, and they too will want to take advantage of your soulful generosity, which goes back to our point about having a threesome. 

Midday sex - Women adore it: when a man is no longer sleepy and not yet tired, it is so alien and weird to do it during the day, but it is still hella fun. At the same time, it’s not really exhausting, it acts as an energy drink, it gets you pumped up for the rest of the day. 

Sex toys to be honest, I would consider having a few sex toys in bed as a requirement for a productive sexual life. If you have never choked on edible panties, tried an artificial vagina or used a good dildo, did not feel the joy of condoms with various flavorings and did not envy/enjoy the unbending erection of a dildo, then where have you been all this time? Good sex should be fun.  

Here’s a list of the 8 best sex toys that you should try. 

Photo session Now, it is extremely fun and certainly memorable, but this should be done only if you trust your partner. If you think that they may use your photos in the future, if you break up, as something against you, they are going to send them to your friends and relatives – you should probably avoid this. Again, it is extremely fun, yet it takes a certain type of partner, a reliable and rational person. 

Pillow It should be put under a girl’s buttocks. This helps to increase the pressure on the clitoris, which increases her pleasure. It also gives a man the opportunity for deeper penetration. In addition, a pillow will get warm and it will be pleasant to sleep on it afterward. 

Porn - Be careful: your collection of hardcore pornography can weaken your partner’s excitement. Experts say that women are not particularly excited when it comes to visual stimulation and they prefer to use their own imagination. But it works perfectly fine on men, they are a lot more open to experimentation and trying out new things in bed. 

Synchronous orgasm – Now some may say that having a synchronous orgasm is pointless, they say that it doesn’t bring any additional joy. And while it is technically true, but considering the emotional aspect of sex and its importance, you cannot deny the beauty of such a moment. 

BDSM - It is not necessary to use handcuffs, dog collars, and police batons. Just let your partner bind and tie you in all the ways that they want. This will make you rather helpless, but that is the point, let your partner do everything that they want and enjoy the ride (or being ridden).


Thyself without me, not any life's there,
Is not myself, even when you are not here.

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I lay in dark and dreaming sleep
While countless wars and ages passed
While lovers lost and children died
The cycle ran until, aghast 
I opened my eyes, so I should see 
And learn from this unending past
That life is short, though days are long
And that we were never meant to last.
I woke to noise and screaming life
But death was ever found to be
Within the dissonance of voice
Born in children, grown in me
I ran until I fell alone
But decease, like a fey banshee
Moved silently in my shadowed steps
With no intent to set me free
I dozed through my own middle life
I couldn't care to breathe or die
To see my friends or family
Would just admit that I'm alive
I felt like life would canter on
Meaningless, though I'd strive
To fight the caress of lover-death
To hope my wonder would revive
I slept tonight a wondrous sleep
Of moon and star and sunlit eyes
From my bed, I heard her creep
And then I found to my surprise
An angel of unending rest
With promises to mesmerize 
I gave her my own soul to reap
No more left to agonize 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

I liked the first two lines enough to compose another poem

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Into the void

I hear the agony of your joy

Echoing in the vast silence of my heart


Passionate cry’s

Filled with hatred

For wanting my love starved soul.


Your aching pleasures

Sooth my pain

And lift the desires

Of my deep but inevitable regret


Pulling and pushing

The limits of our realities,

Obscuring the vision of our desperate journey

That leads us into the infinite abyss

Of our mortal lives

Burn & Blaze

Shift Up


The clock ticks across the waves of time,

I count them, watch them, wishing I could 

change the course of time,

Crest, trough. Rise, sink. Tide in. Tide out.


I fell from the cliff into the waters below,

freezing, sinking; the roots I had gone.

All things blurred; salt steeping into wounds,

I'm a relic of an era long gone. 


And I can't turn back time. 


The storm rages on and I suffocate

in the depths, dark and deep, 

dislodged out of time, 

days gone. Dimmed. 


And I can't turn back time. 


A pyre, past lit, 

A catalyst to combust or

A path, of possibilities, of 



Time consumes, the tide comes.


The fire within, held close and tight,

The only thing to keep warmth, 

Stare at the fiery beacon, 

and learn to yield the inferno. 


Don't let the flame consume you, 

Lest it burn you back to the depths,

Don't the fire go out,

Lest time claims you forever. 


Mimic the light in the distance,

so far gone and stolen away,

To a place that cannot see backwards,

But still a beacon for pathfinders,


And I'll use time instead. 


Burn, contort, shape, and meld

the future to your will, and 

blazing into the future is now 

all I can do. 

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