Shit Head

Shit Head

The Jerk led off a perk
lead through the comfort of the home all alone
my inside phrase is clear
want to shed a single tear
led through a sparkle in your hair
shade of grass...

there he moveth sprinkled magic dust in mirror
in the street below the Chinese verb;
clear spear in the notion of bad breath me do,

Shit head, followed in the dinner close to french a way of mission
Chinese man now old peed on the wall
move to stand up ten feet tall
sharp to whisper sorrow down the middle

Shit head..screw the canopy in what its worth
Shit a hold of a virgin smile
Shit by the miracle mile
Shit the window

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We are trying to stay the same

as the ground breaks spring

and the world ends.


Feels like a metaphor.


We are on a cliff and

I am trying to keep you safe

in this fraying net.


I should say something about

beginnings and endings

and some things never changing

but that isn’t true, isn’t it?

We are changing

every second.


I want to think

we’re different in a good way.


We are trying to start again

as everything is unraveling


your fingers in mine.


Are we scared enough

brave enough

strong enough

enough to hold on?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/6/2020

In Love and I Hate It


Im in love and I hate it,

It hurts so much,

Why did I have to fall in love with you?

You are like poison in my veins,

Im totally addicted to your games,

You are beautiful,

That beauty is tained,

I cant take it any more,

What am I supposed to do?

I want to be with you,

I want to run away from you,

I feel like Im spiralling down a hole,

I make the same mistakes,

Over and over again,

I cant walk away,

Like a moth drawn to a flame,

My heart overrules my head,

Its agony,

Its ecstasy,

I cant decide what I want more,

The pleasure or the pain,

Its magic the way you hypnotise,

I dont know what to believe any more,

My head is so messed up,

I love you,

I hate you,

I hate myself,

I look up to the stars and the planets for guidance,

I feel like Im falling through space,

I dont have the strength inside,

My head hangs low,

My heart pulled in different directions,

The tears flow freely,

I need to be strong,

I need to move on,

You make me feel bad and its not fair,

I feel so lost.


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Torn Love

What has happened to us?

You feel like a ghost to me,

Tell me what it is I have done,

Did you ever stop and notice all the hurt this causes?

Its as if youre not even there anymore,

Im like a ghost to you,

Its haunting me,

Its hurting me,

My heart is restless,

Who gave you right to make it break?

I dont understand it,

You mean so much to me,

Ive cried thousands of tears over you,

Ive bled because of you,

Dont put a knife in my back,

Stab me in the heart,

So I know its you who did it,

Look me in the eye and tell me,

Do you even care?

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You play with me,

You tease me,

You give me your full attention,

I play with you,

I tease you,

I give you my full attention,

Playing together feels so right,

Its never too late,

We can play together any time,

Sometimes we dont have to play,

We can just talk,

I dont want to lose you to the darkness inside,

Take my hand,

Walk with me through the woods,

All the trees clearing to a field of grass and flowers,

Clear sky overhead,

Lay down with me,

Hold me close as I hold you,

Stare up at the endless blue,

I want to stay like this forever,

With you,

Listening to you breathe,

Play with me,

Chase me,

Grab hold of me,

Pin me to the ground,

Dont hurt me,

I wont hurt you,

Neither of us deserve the pain,

Please dont leave me.


Eyes wide open,

Heart pounding in my chest,

Breath catching in my throat,

I choke back the tears,

All a dream.


Torn Love

I only want what I cant have,

Like Im hooked on poison,

Youre like a drug Im addicted to,

Your smell,

Your touch,

Your power over me,

Things haunt me,

Its all about us,

You know I can keep secrets,

I know you can keep secrets too,

They never said we cant touch,

Just how close can we get?

Will she ever know?

They dont know,

Hold on tight on this ride,

You traded things,

Is that what happiness feels like for you?

I know you enjoy the danger,

Maybe not as much as me,

That spark is there in your eyes when I look,

I think youre scared of how it feels,

You might enjoy it,

If you lose yourself in the pleasure,

How will you come back from it?

Why do I get the feeling youre craving something youve never had?

I never crossed the line,

If we even have a line,

Tell me something,

How far can I push you?

How close can we get before you run?

You look at me with those eyes,

Knowing the power they have over me,

Youre beautiful,

Youre completely enchanting,

Youre the source of my addiction,

Your eyes,

Your lips,

Your smell,

Your touch,

Your body against mine,

Your breath on my neck,

The feel of you against my lips,

The feel of you against my hands,

The feeling of you responding.


Im addicted to you like Ive been poisoned and youre the cure.



Lord, I'm on my knees again

Because the worst has happened

The death of a loved one

The loss of a job

I can't pay the bills

My wife no longer loves me


So I'm here today

Before the Lord of creation

The First and Last

And perhaps the best I can say

Is a hollow hallelujah

From an empty heart

“The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away

Blessed be the name of the Lord.”


For who knows

Perhaps by my suffering

Someone else may be blessed

Someone else might have hope

Someone else might see You through me


I can't see the future

I don't know the greater plan

But I believe, but I Know

That even in the hardest of times

I can rely on You to carry me

When I fall, let me fall into Your arms

Please take this broken life

This shattered jar of clay

And shape it into the man

That You need me to be


I trust You

I love You

And because of these


I know that I'll be ok


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Love me until it hurts,

Youre like poison in my veins,

Youre an addiction,

I fell in love,

I fight for you,

Do I have your word?

Hold me forever,

A sweet and salty smell fills my nose,

Love me through the pain,

Dont ever tell me its over,

I promise to be there for you,

Dont give up on us,

Take my heart and hold it in your hands,

Feel it beating,

Know that this is all true,

I wont ever let you down,

I feel so numb,

Maybe I cut too deep,

It takes a moment to realise youre touching me,

Ive never felt more alone than I do now,

A feeling of freedom washes over me,

Quick sharp gasp,

How do you make me feel this way?

I crave you,

I cant run from the past,

It catches up with me eventually,

Try as I might I cant cut it out,

I feel youre haunting me,

Im addicted to the games,

Youre so beautiful,

Cold and unwavering,

Sharp and precise,

Deeper and deeper you push,

Completely under your spell,

Adrenaline rushes through me,

This thrill is intoxicating,

I never want it to end,

Each time trying to make it better than the last,

Chasing what I can never have,

Forever just out of reach,

You can go on without me,

I mean nothing to you,

All you have ever wanted is to control,

You know you have full control over me.

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I think of you now and then,

Gravity pulls us together,

Thoughts of you,

Made from broken parts,

I look into your eyes,

Passion and love inside,

Scared to let it out,

Bruised and scarred,

Life can be cruel,

You dont have to hide,

The walls you have made,

Let me inside,

I can show you its not so bad,

Hold your heart gently in my hands,

Kiss it tenderly,

Never break it or hurt you,

I couldnt do that,

Not to you,

Things I can show you,

Love and understanding,

Its like you are here with me now,

Beside me on the bed,

Instead of just in my head.

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