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*All These Tears*

October.19.1998 
Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins


All these lies 
I'm getting sick of them 
Sometimes I think I should say my good-byes 
They are growing so fast like an infested stem 

 

You tell me one thing 
Then you tell me another 
Your promises you never bring 
It's amazing we're still together 

 

I try to hold on 
But you make me so mad 
To the point I can't take it anymore 
Letting go will only make me sad 
These lies and promises are becoming a bore 

 

I love you too much 
But all these lies got to leave 
Even though I'll miss your soft gentle touch 
One day I'll be gone then you'll believe 
That i got fed up with all these lies 
It became too much 

 

no more kissing 
No more blue skies 
You'll be missing 
No more lies 
Stop now before it's too late 
Stop before I lose all fate 

 

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*Silent Melody*

September.8.2000 
Trisha M Barrek Hopkins


Only i can hear this silent melody 
So loud and clear 
So bright and true 
So lovely i shed a tear 
Nobody understands what I'm going through 
No one understands this fear 
That's trapped inside 
Nobody wants to hear 
So i just stay to myself i just hide 
No one yet has told me for me they care 

 

My heart hurts every night 
When it's time to go to sleep 
This pain inside i try my hardest to fight 
But all i can do is weep 

 

No one wants to listen 
In my eyes 
There's no shine 
They don't even glisten 
All I have are my midnight cries 
And my silent Melody 
Sitting there right along my side 
Watching as time flies by 
I'm trying my hardest, my best 
Not to let the rest of me die 
Mean while with my tears no cares if i hide 

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*Looking Into This Heart of Mine*

September.14.1998 
Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins


Look into this heart of mine 
Look down deep and low 
And see if you can find 
How hard it is to show 

 

How it feels when your around 
Tell me what you feel...What you hear 
Explain the unexplained sound 
Could it be this falling tear

 

Look into this heart of mine 
When you came into my world one day 
See how my eyes opened and shined 
I was speechless and nothing to say 

 

Because the first time i laid my eyes on you 
I wanted you from the start 
I can see in your eyes your true 
Now i know i can give you my heart 

 

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*Forbidden Love*

February.20.2000
Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins

Between the two of us
Is where our feelings remain 
I don't know why he is making a fuss
My respect he will not gain

Not as long as the subject is about the skin
It's about the feelings between us two
No matter what way I look at it I cant win
I'd probably be disowned if he ever knew


But at this point I don't care
I cant ignore this feeling
We have this magic we share 
It all has a meaning 

 

So why cant he understand 
Why cant he see past the color
It's that I don't want to be with no other man
Explain? Why do I bother

 

Forbidden love between two
Why can't he let things be 
These feelings I wish he knew
The magic we hold I wish he could see

 

Between the two
We care for each other
I'll never feel the way you always do
No matter what he and I will always be together

 

But no he's stubborn to try
These feelings the two of us share 
I'm so upset I can cry
About the skin I wish he wouldn't care

 

These feelings kept to myself
All building up I feel like I could die 
I keep this book on the shelf
It's because I freely cant wear these feelings on my shirt
It's not fair
This negativity is making me hurt
The way I feel he doesn't care

 

The way I feel means nothing to him 
He has nothing positive to say
To him this love he doesn't believes in 
For God to change his mind I pray

 

Each and every night 
I just want him to look into his heart
And hopefully look past the sight 

 

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*Once Again*

July.12/13.2011
Trisha M Barrek Hopkins

 

I gave you my heart
And you ripped it out of my chest
Now I'm in pieces
A total wreck falling apart
You're just like all the rest

 

Feed me lies no respect
God really made a fool out of me
I extremely failed the test
My heart he couldn't even protect
This guy was the best
He's the one that gave me the greatest pain

 

I thought I could be happy
But you from all the others
You were the brightest
You got me to believe all your lies
Instead of a sunny day
All I have are black clouds and rain
At night all I hear
Again are my cries
Once again I trusted you with my soul
All you left behind is this evil stain

 

My last hopes you stole
You capturing me in you web of distrust
Was your only goal
My only heartbeat that was left
To take it from me was your gain
You weren't here for love
You made me feel disgust

 

How could you feed me lines
Once again you got me to let down my wall
Entrapping me in your vines
Waiting in the background
In the shadows not making a sound
Watching and waiting for me to fall

 

When you seen your chance
You crept in like and ass
Skipping out on his rent
And captured my heart in your romance
Only to stay till your time was spent
Then you spun me in your dance

 

You quickly disappeared without a trace
You went through that door
Never again to see your face
You let go of me
To watch me crash to the floor
The pain you caused you didn't dare see

 

You came and took
What you wanted to take
You came and left without a second look
All along you were just a fake

 

Once again
I'm left alone
To pick up the pieces off the ground
My body turning to stone
May should God has almost found
I should of remained by my self
....All Alone!

 

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Five Year Journey

The weather is well

The sky is blue

The day anew

The little birds wake and sing

We wake because our alarms ring

I can’t tell

If that was the screams in my head or

The school bell

I’m inside

Inside again

Inside myself

Translation of my ideas, I’m deaf

Sympathetic to several causes

Seemingly smart with scarce solutions

Often imagining the future

Taking the high way in the maze of life

Road block

Stagnated, frustrated

Angst

Initially, but it evolved courageously

It’s hard to understand ourselves

Time is the patron of change

 

Now that I get it

Or

That I think I get it

I’d like to rewind

And restart the picture I painted

Purify the person I tainted

Use the colors that I wish I used

My eyes see nothing new, I’m unamused

Now there’s nowhere to memorize just open your mind

Analyze every line

Because all the world’s a stage

Regressed to Illiteracy 

In my book I can’t seem to turn the page 

Learning till the day I die

Consumption of corruption because it’s easy

 

Though,

Our interests are mutual

Alone like my daily ritual

Instant satisfaction

Failing to ponder and think critically

Why don’t we ask why

By social stigma we act cynically

To me my shadow is colorful

Full

The feeling we search for

Push and pull

Two sides seen by only two eyes

Left & right, black & white

Understanding is out of sight

Success

Maybe

I might

Still figuring it out

 

Silence kisses my lips

Only talking when we take sips

Beats my heart skips

My conscious flows in the veins of my eyes

My tongue is red like my lies

Tarnished are my teeth and my thoughts

And without purpose my soul rots

The human hand is the door knob to a person

But my hands are locked in fists

Wrinkles in our palms

The fleshy manifestation of our route through life

Legs like ruined Roman columns

Glory with revitalization

Destruction with mistreatment

Only if he comes to a sooner realization

He’ll become a traitor of stag-nation

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My first written poem. The title simply signifies the teenage years and I feel as if it really dug deep into my 17 year old head. Please tell me what you thought of it.

Tears Drop At Fall

Folder: 
People

There's Things We Want
And There's Things We Need
I Don't Know Why
I Don't Know
How Many Tears
You've Got To Cry


But Why Am I So Discouraged
Why Am I So Sad
These Tears Have Flooded
The Entire Side Walk
I Am Heavily Breathing


Why Do I Feel So Heartbroken
As The Lakes Ripple
In And Out Of My Heart Beat
As The Teardrops Fall
My Hands Are Shaking
My Eyes Are Watery


Why Am I Feeling The Way
That I'm Feeling Right Now
Lost On A Road Of Solitude
I Feel Emptied Up And Used
I Am Broken And Abused


The Storm Is Raging On
And I'm Pressing Against The Wind
Why Is The Pain
Straining All Of My Energy
And As I Muster The Leftover Energy
That Keeps Me Moving On


Maybe Someday We Will Rise Above

And When That Day Comes
I Will Be Bursting Out In Tears

My Heart Will Be Glad
That The Storm Is Over
The Sun Will Shine Again
The Rainbow Will Glitter
All Across The Sky
And I Will Feel Your Love
Reign All Over My Body
My Heart Will Feel At Peace


Only Then Will I Have Known
You Have Provided
Your Have Not Forsaken Me
You Have Not Left Me
Because I Knew You Were There
With Me The Whole Time

 

 

 

Radical Light

Folder: 
People

When I See Your Eyes
I Feel At Peace
And When I'm Sitting Next To You
I'm Molded In Serenity


And When I'm Laying
Right Next To You
It's Like Laying On Flowers
A Very Soft Cushion


You Surround Me In Light
You Surround Me In Victory
Many Come To Judge You
But With Your Mercy
No Amount Of Hate
Can Overcome Your Love


Day And Night
When I Groan All Day
And The Heat Suppresses
My Strength Is Evaporated
Faster Than Water In A Desert


But Here You Come
Right Next To Me
All Of My Troubles Are Gone
All Of This Pain Subsides
And I Feel At Ease


You Protect Me
From All Of The Trouble
That Comes Hunting Me Down
You Heal Me
Of All The Pain
That Comes And Goes
To Leaves Bruises And Marks


For You Are
My Place Of Hiding
You Are My Sunshine
That Provides Me Victory


Many Sorrows
Come Knocking
From The Past
But Your Love
Lasts An Eternity

If You Need Love

Folder: 
People

If You Need To Feel Loved
If You Need A Hug
I'm Here For You
Because I Care About You
And If You Fall Down
I'll Be There To Lift You Up
I'll Be That One
Who Will Prevent You
From Falling
To The Same Problems Twice
Because I'll Be That One
Who Wipes Yours Tears Away
Before The Flood Comes Pouring In
Before The Tsunami Comes Crashing In
And All I Need From You
Is For You To Trust Me
That I'll Be There For You
Because If I Make A Promise
I Intended To Keep It


I See The Scars You Try To Hide
And I See The Blood
That's Leaking Out
And I Want You To Know
That I Don't Care What Caused It
I Want To Be The One
Who Stops The Bleeding
The One Who Heals
That Fragile Broken Heart
Beating Inside
And Bent Out Of Shape
I Don't Care What Shape Its In
Because I'll Love Your Heart
In Whatever Way I Need To


If You Need Me To Hold You
I'm Right Here To Hold You
And If You Need
Warm Hugs And Kisses
I'm Willing To Give You
Warm Caring Hugs And Kisses
When Ever You Need Them
Where Ever You Feel Lost
I'll Be There
To Let You Know
You're Not Alone
And That You're Right
Where You Need To Be


Because All I Want
For You To Know
Is That I'll Be There For You
I'll Be That One Person You Need
That One Person Who Makes You
Look Forward To This Upcoming Day
And See That Beating Heart
Is Making A Smile Outwards


I'll Be That One
When You Have No One Else
I'll Be The Guy
When All Other Guys
Make You Cry
All The Others
Make You Tear Up
I'll Be The One
Who Makes You Cry
Out Of Happiness
The Ones Who Makes You Smile
The One Who Brightens Your Heart
And Makes All Of The Pain
Feel Lessened Out And Of No More


All I Desire
Is For You To Be Happy
And If I Have To Break
For You To Be Happy
I'm Willing To Give It All
I'm Willing
For You
Just To Smile
I Don't Want
To See You Crying
And I Don't Want You Hurting
So I'm Giving You My Hugs
My Heart
And My Unconditional Love
So You Never Have To Feel Alone
You Never Need To Feel Uncared For
Because I Am With You
I Am Right Here For You
I'm Here To Heal You