Daughter

Into the Depths of Chaos


I slip into an onyx dream
darker than any decaying thing
From the void trying to fill the void
Like Erebus I too am born of Chaos
-unraveling in a mist of dissonance
The silken noose tightens
I am cast into my own Spellhold-
cursed and forgotten
Pain is a welcomed refuge
Lest the 'stars hide their fires'
I will burn into a blacken ember

The hour of silence beckons
Echidna coils her fiery despair
Round and round, over and over
A mother's love- her beautiful poison
And sinks her fangs while
begging for absolution

I sink below the slithering surface
where nighmares wash away the sadness
There is no peaceful passing
She carves her scars into her child's heart
And only with her blessing does she allow any healing

I slip further into the tangled madness
caught on layers of dissension
The steady beating of despair
is slowly creating a new heir
She shows you the horizon
She tells you it is near
Then she swims in self delusion
all while drowning others with her fear

I close my eyes, I open them wide
Inside a sleepless mind, the quiet
is a beautiful lie
Like it or not I have to choose-
To descend further into a watery grave
or tighten the noose 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

**My relationship with my mother can be quite...tumultuous**

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Your my greatest treasure!

Your my greatest treasure!

 

You graced Me with your presence the day That you arrived

Then you made your way into my heart and settled there and thrived

You light the world up with your smile and cheer them with your laughter

You bring joy into my life cuz your my greatest treasures

This special woman I see before me makes me proud she calls me Mom

And someday when she too has a child of her own my joy her way will come

The little girl with a skinned up knee knows one day she will Rome

And when you move away from me know in my heart your always home

A tainted past has always followed me thru out my life thus far

But your the one thing from my past to present I'm proud to have you follow

Remembering all those years that we've spent together makes me know for sure

That your my greatest treasures!

 

    Zoey cup

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this one for my daughter when she moved to another state a few months ago hope you'll like it

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Last day of her life

My thoughts of seeing her again clouded visons

in the shadows of my eyes.

Lid on her casket was the last time
I saw her face.

Years passed not forgetting her nor my love for hr

Our hearts meshing together during the last week

of her life hear on this earth.A

Love to others flowed from her soul.

Fifty people all her friends came to say a last goodbye

in that hospital room

Last day of her life; she waited for me

while I went to make sure of her final

resting place.

When I returned I told her I loved her for all time.

fifteen minutes later she was gone.

Now the time has come to reunite

I go to her resting place the spot is opened

Angela all dressed in white reaches out to hug me.

I suddenly am dressed in white too.

Mama she says I came back for you

to take you home and you will never be

alone again.

 

 

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my dad

He is so happy and so enthused

 

he plays his violin and is very amused

 

everyone tells him how good he can play

 

but he says he cannot play that way everyday.

 

People wonder how that could be

 

when obviously he can play, you can see

 

but when he is sober he is scared and afraid

 

that he will not like the song that he made.

 

Even though it is beautiful, and even though it is pure,

 

he says he needs the alcohol, and that is for sure,

 

to help dull his senses just enough

 

and make playing the violin a little less tough.

 

I hope that one day he will learn to play

 

the violin in a less threatening way

 

so that he too can hear the sound

 

 without all of his other senses bringing him down.

 
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A piece of heaven! 2015

A piece of heaven! 2015

 

when we first met you could tell i needed a friend

so you took me under your wing and helped me to mend

you were quick to tell me i was worth saven

thats when i thought i was looking at a piece of heaven

your cheery attitude gave me reason to smile

and your endless happiness went on for miles

wheather you were talking to some one or waven

thats when i realized i was looking at a piece of heaven

and when my mom died you never left my side

you didnt give up on me instead you became my giude

family always came first to you they were your everything

there was nothing you wouldnt do for them you always made there heart sing

i looked into your loving eyes and knew your love you've freely given

and then i knew with out a doubt i was lookin at a piece of heaven

you made there world a better place and put a song in all there hearts

you always looked out for your daughter and was very proud of your son

pride and joy shows in your eyes when your grand kids are having fun

we're all lost with out you here your love and guidance draws you near

your strength and courage made you strong enough to concor all your fears

knowing you has been a pleasure you helped me to wanna go on living

by leaving a piece of heaven in all our hearts.

 

 

                          zoeycup16

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i wrote this poem for a very special lady who i concider my second mother she was always making me laugh and feel better about all i was going thru this poem is for younRita I love you!!!

         zoeycup16

 

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*Angel By My Side*

 

 August.28.2002

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

 

When I feel down and lost 

And can't find my way in the dark

All you have to do is smile 

And that brightens evrything

So as your presence is around

I pray you stay with me for a very long while 

To my heart a joy you always bring 

 

When there is a storm over my head 

You make the sun shine

And my soul no longer feels like lead

Now I am feeling alot better because you're mine

You take away the pain

And some how let me know everything is okay

I then have a better day 

And every time happiness you bring 

 

You are my angel by my side 

You are always there when I need you 

You answer all my prayers

You always guide me through

When I have a tough situation

You help me decide

You some how always keep my skies blue

 

God sent you to me for a reason

To make sure I make it through life

Make sure I survive

He asks you to guide me through each season

You help me stay alive

In myself and my duties

You help me believe in

With every part of my life

 

With your big brown eyes

They make me glad you're with me 

God had sent you from the heavens skies

You've changed the way I use to be 

Even though I have my days

I thank the lord above

For not taking you away from me 

So this is why our safety I put in Gods hands

To protect thee

And in return he sends his love

To guide us in a better direction a better way

And for him by our side he'll always stand

 

Whenever we hear a church bell ringing 

We'll know you are there

To protect us from harm

We hear your precious singing 

We know you care

Because of you my little girl is my lucky charm

And for that reason You both will always be 

My angel by my side

 

Copyright

 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to my daughters Totteaanna and Shaniya I love you both so much. Dedicated to God also because without him I wouldn't have my precious daughters.

*Back Then*

Trisha M. Barrek.Hopkins
March-15-1994/June-12-2013
Dedicated to my mother Christine Barrek
I love you mom

 

I remember Back then 
When i was a kid
The memories i hold
On everything i did
And the stories my mommy told

Tucking me into bed
Saying sweet dreams love you and don't let the bed bugs bite
Then before leaving the room 
She'd kiss me on my forehead
And i'd reply with "love you and good-night
And before i knew it my dream went into flight

In the morning I'd wake 
To the aroma of blueberry pancakes
That only took a little time to bake
As i hold onto my napkin
I watch as my mommy pours the syrup
I take a sip of my juice
From my favorite cup

Asking to be excused to go get dressed 
Stopping half way to look at the glisten on the snow
I then go to change the jammies i messed
being messy is not good that i know

Boy to remember everything Back then 
Brings goosebumps to my skin
I some times wish i was a kid again
The memories rush back to me when i look at the picture
Held up with a pin
The one you gave me Back Then...

(June-12-2013)

But that was back then
Now all i have is the memory
I try to think of my past 
And begin to forget when 
The last time we were close
And miss the way my mother was
And the morning aroma under my nose

Now my mother's soul is lost
And my memories are only stuck in the past
She is fighting with herself to live
I wont let my mother lose this fight at any cost 
Her husband is the demon 
Within her head
Her spirit is gone
He is the whole freakin reason
Why she is not trying
Afraid every night when she goes to bed
That one night she will give up on living
The next day she won't be alive 
And that morning I will find her dead

I love my mother with all my heart
I cant even talk to my best friend
Because he forces her to tell him what I've said
In the past few years we grown apart 
I want my mother there when i am wed
But that Subject On that I wont try to start

Because i cant trust her anymore 
I pray to the lord to protect her with all his might
To keep her safe and out of harms way
Keep her in my children s sight
Let her live another day
Back then is what i can only remember
Its the only thing i can store

I don't want to see my mommy this way
It hurts me so damn much
I wish there was something i could do
To bring the Back then
I want to feel my mothers loving touch
All i ask god please don't let her life end
Because there's still memories to be made
Get her away from the devil that keeps her trapped
The one who controls her like a puppet
Help her before her soul goes completely Dark
Dont let her soul start to fade
And she loses all spark
Before the blackness kidnaps 
The only strength she has to live
Is the company of my daughter(s)
I want her to share Back Thens with her grandchildren
Let my mother show them shes strong and smart
This devil let her see she can get away 
Help her believe she can win
And from this prison she doesn't have to stay

Copyright

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*Violence To Ones Own*

Folder: 
Ballads

 

 October-7-1997
 Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins

{I}
Waiting for him, sitting in the car
Under the erie moonlight
Imagening what he'll do 
Seing him in the distance, seeing him in the night
His mind shouting "I'm going to get you!"


{II}
He sees himself going after the man
He sees himself dragging him, dragging, dragging
Tying the man up
Everything is so dim
Under the erie moonlight

 

{III}
Torching him almost like he did her
His little baby girl, his little sweet girl
Remembering the scars he left behind
Making sure he'll never see another star

 

{Iv}
Under the erie moonlight
He opens the door
Seeing him more clear in the night 
Wanting to murder him more

 

{V}
Coming around the corner
The daughter spots the father
But she goes into the store to see the owner
He had suddenly spot her

 

{VI}
The daughter yells "Dad"
"SHHH!" the father says
Knowing they been had
Knowing that they are goig to be dead
Finding out the guys name is Thad

 

{VII}
The guy hears the calls
Looks in the fathers gaze
The gun goes off...BANG! the daughter falls
Now the daughter is in a daze

 

{VIII}
The father goes after the guy
Inside he is mad
The father shouts "You're going to die!"
The guy gets away the father is sad

 

{IX}
As the father holds his little girl
He tells her "I'm sorry and I love you."
And then she was gone

 

{X}
Now the father starts to cry
Sitting alone with his daughter
He gazes up at the erie moonlight
So round
So bright

 

Copyright

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Gay Daughter

Father, I know I bring you shame,

But I just can’t stop myself from speaking her name.

I can’t stop myself from calling her at night,

Checking in, making sure she’s all right.

I know you hate when we hold hands,

How do you expect me to conform to your demands?

Would it be different if it was a boy?

Would you smile and act coy?

Invite him inside,

Instead of making us hide?

I know you don’t like her because she’s a girl,

I know the thought of us together makes you hurl,

But if you would take a moment,

If you let her step into the light,

She might come off as urgent,

But I assure you, when I’m with her, everything feels right.

Please, father, give her a chance

Just a bit of your time,

She will save you the last dance,

 

She could show you how a diamond shines. 

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