The Truth

This can’t go on
I can’t hold up
My everyday life is like
Emptying a cup
Always empty
Never filled
Always chasing
The new thrill

But you ask for verity
Here is the sound of truth:

I can’t go on
The phantom lives within
Two faces all the time
Lies only given
Praising you once
Then cursing the same
Both times I use
The power of Your name
Can’t cross this sea
There’s an ocean between us
That I just can’t sail
A battle within me
That I only fail
I can’t go on
I will explode
And brokenness is the aftermath
Brokenness is my aftermath

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You (words to my old self)

Everyday I look in the mirror and see you
staring back at me
making fun of me
trying to force on me
this hatred that lies within.
An anger unmatched by any other,
and controlled by my sin.
It burns inside of me,
but this day you see
I realize that you're only there to smother.
On this day of me...
I claim VICTORY!!!

I claim victory over you and everything that you are!
Victory over the scars that you've forced on my heart!
Victory over my self of old,
and victory over the evil that lies to my soul!

Looking straight at me
Eyes piercing through me
I can't win against thee,
but my Saviour will, you'll see!
Upon Him lays the burden of my sin,
and on this day I call on Him again
for He is the way, the truth, and the light.
I no longer fear the darkness of night.
So you should turn away
because there is no way
that I won't be VICTORIOUS tonight!!!

I claim victory over you and everything that you are!
Victory over the scars that you've forced on my heart!
Victory over my self of old,
and victory over the evil that lies to my soul!

You can't stop me!
You can't even see me,
so step back away from me
before I step up and show you how to see!
I carry the light with me all the time
because it shows me the way,
and the truth is when I fall, Christ will carry me!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

....spiritual battles are hard to fight, but hard to fight does NOT translate to impossible to win. I am winning today!

Death Knocking

Are you afraid of death?
Death will come for us all.
But for me I feel it is just beyond the next wall.
Should I just give up and fall.
Bottle emotions like a whale causing waves in the ocean.
I try and seek help but I cannot find, is it just my time?
My problems are mine, mine alone, mine to fix on my own.
It is time to face the battle grounds and hope to last another round.
I wonder if I should be here in this place or if I should pack up and make haste.
I keep my feelings all bottled up, now I fear I’m at the rim of my cup.
Should I retreat and run to a place where you cannot seek.
I think I'm going to be strong and keep pushing on.
Do not let death control you, if you give up that’s what it will surely do.
Death will find you and it will win the war but if you fight you can be more.
Go out fighting until the end.
Because when you stop fighting that is truly the end.

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Close your eyes
Can’t let them see
The fear that lies within
The pain that immobilizes
The anger at your loss
You’re theirs now
And you can’t give them the satisfaction
You won’t

Fight back
Don’t let them rule without a battle
Don’t allow them to take away what matters most
You’re a soldier
You’re a fighter
You are a force to be reckoned with
So show it
Be it
Do it

Steele yourself
It’ll be a long road yet
But you’ll make it
You’ll survive
We will be survivors

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The time is approaching,
Things will change,
Ill be gone for a while wishing the world stays the same.
Death in one hand,
Hope in the other,
Doing my best fighting with my brothers.
Staying in rhythm with my surroundings,
Never forgetting this is only temporary.
Thinking of a time when I was with you,
Happy and forgetting misfortunes chaotic tune.
Wiping away the smudges of sorrow,
Maintaining serenity although others will die tomorrow.
The cruel reality to which I'm involved,
Holding onto your memory,
Helping to forget the insanity,
More precious then gold.
Try to remember the good things I'd say whenever your down,
Because even though I'm gone I refuse to let you frown.
Whatever happens,
Don't listen to what they say,
I love you,
And that will forever remain unchanged.

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Stalemate 2012

Wulfman Adventures

The light is dim, Mother Luna hiding behind a curtain
Low light bothers me none, but the other has trouble
Loud crashing through underbrush, allows prime tracking
I follow, silent on my paws

A moving shadow, slow breathing
A blundering fool, loud panting
A smokey wolf stalks in stealth
To stand right by the man

In a loud snarl, freezing the prey
Shoulders slumping, head hanging
Knowing it is too late to unsheathe the sword

I nudge his backside with my broad head
Make it a challenge, I plead
Giving up is too simple, Southpaw quick slashes

It will not be so simple as turning around
Claiming defeat, draw your blade....

The air is crisp, freezing and aches the old injuries
Yet I stand noble and full of pride

My jaw quivering from anger, not the the icy air
The breathes escaping, freezing as it kisses the lips goodbye
Nipping at the man's ankles and prowling in an orbit

I plead with you, bag of rotten worms
Do something worthwhile, instead of being a yammering statue
I plead for the sake of your father, for all the sake of your bloodline

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Unsure of this poem.

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A Bit of History for You

A Bit of History for You

Rise my brothers rise!
Rise up until the other side meets their demise!
Let us take back what is rightfully ours!
Let us venture forth and unit Europes western powers!
Let those who once fought against brothers and relatives now rightfully fight against barbarians!
Acting swift and just, we will end their reign of totalitarian!
Seizing victory for our Lord screaming "Deus Vult"!
Riding through the fires of war still shouting "Deus Vult"! "Deus Vult"!

Battle 3

It is time to destroy what cannot be.
It is Time to let existence pass by me.
Time to stop praying and get up off my knees.
Death is the only destiny.
Suicide was once just a thought but now reality.
My eyes were close but now I see, Death riding beside me.
To the battleground we go, who is going to win the war we all know.
Victory comes again for this battle I did win.

Author's Notes/Comments: 


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I'm tired of fighting. 

Nobody asked me if I wanted to be a fighter.

I don't want to be selfish and quit.

But putting on this armor every day weighs on my body and soul.

I'm exhausted.

Just once, I want someone to help me take care of me. 

Someone to assist me in my struggles, not because I ask, but because they want to.

No judgements passed. 

Someone who will help me to remove some of this armor and put it on themselves and not fight for me, but fight with me.

Someone to help me carry the weight of my past.

With shoulders strong enough to hold the insecurities in my tears.

I can't fight anymore.

Not alone.

Bullets of reality hit my shields and deflect but always leave their mark.

A small dent or scratch.

My once new armor now looks worn.

Let me lay down my sword. 

I don't want to fight anymore. 

Let me press pause while I undress myself and stand up tall, fully exposed in front of you. 

If you would like to pick up my armor off the ground and wear it for a while and protect me, I would be forever grateful. 

But I don't expect you it. 

Although I spent so many years shielding you.

But that's who I am.

I'm a fighter. 

But nobody asked me if I wanted to be a fighter. 

So today...

I quit.

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