Fade

If it's what you want

If words on a page

and pictures in a frame

are what you want,

then so be it.

but just know that one day those pages will fade

and those glass paned frames will break

as that trophy love you thought you had

slowly disintegrates. 

I may not be a writer 

or photogenic like her

but the love I can give you 

will not deter.

So just remember, 

the next time she writes you a poem, 

or snaps a picture, 

those, unlike my love,

will fade. 

Metallic love

I can't focus... it's getting to me, more each day.. 

my thoughts stretch like clay, & unfortunately mold me, here & there.. 

I wish so much for you to of been able to stay.

was it really mean't to be this way..?

cause I surely feel unsatisfied.. 

comfort is something we all crave.. 

but you were like security to me, & I watched it all get ripped away..

what a waste of a night.. what a realization, I couldn't fight..

 

I miss you more then the depths of the ocean go deep..

some nights like this.. I have trouble trying to sleep.. 

we yearn, we learn.. forever burn...

tables turn..

I want to take back so much i've said..

because they were useless particles floating around in my head..

6 months pass.. everything falls to ash but the memories.. 

 

fuck me for letting other opinions get in the way of my true heart..

fuck them for denying love.. as if they really knew.

sorry I can seem like a rainbow of emotions.. or a bleak cloudy day.. 

but I can promise much sunshine after being drenched in such heavy rain.. 

 

will another 6 months make a difference..?

or would it just be a whole year spent needing you..

it's not like I can't live... or breathe without you..

but it's to the point I really just don't want to... 

sorry about getting "distracted".. 

I don't excpect you to still feel like you need me,

want, love or care about me.. 

though I feel all the same & even more.

 

this incense continues to coil... & I could watch it for hours.

as i'm thinking.. when I die.. would this all of passed right before my eyes?

I want to know that instead of sitting here, waiting..

hoping, wondering.. not knowing.. 

instead, I'll get to see you smile again..

that for me, would never ever be a waste of time.

at least i'd know that's what I did with my last bit of life.

 

I don't know if I have the power anymore to get you to laugh without trying..

or the privilege of being on your mind... 

when I take my last breath, please tear this heart out of my chest..

put it in a jar.. keep it preserved.

if you go first.. i'll remember your wish, if it's still what you'd want.

i'll hold onto yours too.. even though it's no longer beating..

always I will love you.. through my hands this blood is seeping..

like treasure... from the chest.

metallic love..  

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3.12.13..

Fade Away

Folder: 
Volume One

 
 
 

 

~~)(~~

Fade Away”

 

 

Everyone has their clicks, and their picks

but for me, a nobody with no where to go

lost in the tide, lost in the flow

the false sense of reality

of something I'll never see

of something I'll never be

Its the way it is

nothing left to give, to dead to live

 

"Fade away, as I prayed today

to a God I don't believe exists

from a heart that has tried to resist"

 

Don't take this away from me again

I won't be able to pick up the pieces

The nightmares start all over

I'll be lucky if I'm sober

Don't take this away from me

It's the only thing I have

It's my reason to be

without it, I'll just fade away

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Found this stashed away in my notebook, its a rather old poem I wrote

 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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