feelings

True to Me

Folder: 
Just For Fun

Walking on a dream
A bridge from reality
An escape from normality
That’s where I want to be

Sleeping on a moon beam
No-one else is just like me
The only way I can be free
Is to escape from my humanity

Feelings in a ream
Confused but sure actually
Life is unreality
Because I’m true to me

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Meaning of Life

Most all of anything in life that we know that we've got,
Originally sprung from some sort or type of thought,
Now "anything" in life: can consist, by many o things ,
From eagles flying in the sky, to planetary rings,
And so, through out our lives, with ALL experience we gain,
are received by our senses, feelings, heart and emotion.
But no matter who you are, nor any places you may go,
The reason for this life we take in though, Beside our soul,
So "any & every-thing", in life by which is lived, all bound to-
gather Instantly since Born until Dead, "7his" the reason Being for the Life
that we had Lived...

7homasSteeley,

What Doubt?

You were ever so curious,
And at first this made me furious.
Until i realized you were serious.
...so I handed you the book waiting for a "holy shit you're delirious."

And now I look away waiting for a response.
but all I hear nothing, the silence just haunts.
And in my head I start thinking "is it really that bad?"
Because I doubt it's all that good, I mean, my thoughts are too sad.
And with the suspense eating away at my mind,
I turn to your face and what do I find?

I find the most intense look in your eyes,
like trying to focus on a single star in the nights skies,
But instead they're fixed upon the words I wrote down,
and that's when I noticed you found these words profound.

And when you told me you wanted to read another,
I figured I'd try to find one not about hating my mother.
That's when you found my fear in god,
And I knew you'd think it was somewhat odd,
But you never once had a doubt,
And that gave me a lot to think about.

Am I headed to heaven or hell?
Right now I cant tell.
But I'd rather not be able to tell than think I'm still damned to hell.

All I know is that when I'm at life's end,
I'd be leaving behind a great friend.

 

-The Coward

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MY EVER GLISTENING GEMS

The time we shared and spent together,
Will it ever come back? Never -- forever...

Glistening in the past is every gem,
Only in memories can I gaze at them.

Yesterday a fact, today a dream,
That's how it has always been!

Hope you treasure them as well as me,
Don't cast them in a long-lost sea.

Though you came for a day or two,
I know not how to 'let go' of you.

The games we played on an afternoon,
Will fill my mind's eyes... to ward off gloom.

The daisies I wove for you as wrist-bands,
How can they ever fade from your hands?

Your moods, your smiles, your lark-like banter,
Can I forget? Especially your carefree laughter?

In the vesper bells tolling all those chimes,
I hear the sweet chorus of memorable rhymes.

Who says childhood liking is not love?
To me, you're THE BEST ... even now.

Ah! When we first met, I did not know,
You'd leave me drowned, in such sorrow!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is one of my earliest poems written on/about my first love: Daphne John of indelible memory...like all those poems which are kept in between the pages of books, even this was ...found by my daughter while reading "Heidi" today.

The Crossroads

Folder: 
Volume Three

The Crossroads

Welcome to the crossroads of my life, That intersection between love and hate.
A constant struggle an endless fight, with it all on the line everything at stake.

I can see the pain trapped behind those eyes, the scars and tears you try to hide.
A tortured soul who has nowhere to go. A victim to this life who was tortured slow.
The desire to just be numb is something I know all to well,
for kindred spirits have often been dragged through hell.
With so many reasons to just give up, knowing when you're just fucked
Yet you still find the strength to stand, the sheer power of your will you command.

“Wasting time we still complain,
chasing dreams that some never obtain
when we lose hope we lose our desire
to try and reach any higher”

How much do you deserve to suffer? Can you watch the world explode?
Have you paid your dues to the coffers while your emotions implode?
Having been alone for so long the days blend into the night
Having been abandoned who is to say whats wrong and right.
Having been so long yet I remember, the pain that was caught within the fire's ember.
The whispers that drift my way, and the ugly things they say.
Looks that glance in my direction, disgust is in their intention.

I played with the fire as I attempted to reach higher
ran with my eyes closed and gave into what my heart chose.
Now I find myself at the crossroads of what is real,
listening to the heart beat of life and this illusion we feel.

So much pain and suffering infesting our reality
negativity manifesting misery.
This is the life you choose, with every roll of the dice you lose
and I laugh as you trip and fall even if you go down taking us all.
It's a sinking ship as you run for the life boat,
It's a twisted trip as you hang from your own rope.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I dont really have much to say about this piece. It turned out decent enough, However I've noticed since I am on the final draft of my book I am starting to get publishing fever hahaha hope you enjoy this piece.

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I'll grow for you.

Please just let it all go
and just so you know
I never meant to hurt you,
but I did it anyways
I promise it was in good faith
so one day I could learn to grow.

I should have stayed
Should'a gone
Should'a given
I should be strong
But no matter how it's played,
my mistakes have left a stain

There's no sense
No direction
No fun
No corrections
I feel sick,I feel faint,
and I cannot feel a thing

Take my senses
Take my loving
Take my time
I'll take your shoving
No matter the extent,
I will never leave again

Tomorrow's another day
where all my hopes can run and play,
but until that day rises
I have to sit here and stay
and think about all my problems
that just would not go away

Where's my light
Where's my dream
Where's my child
Where's my queen
You can hate me all you can,
but one day you'll understand

All my hope
All my tears
All my pain
And all my fears
If I only I had some wings
I would fly back there and sing

Your my life
Your my lover
Your my day
My forever
If ever you need again,
I'll be here 'till the end.

Someday, it will all be okay
just wait a little longer
I grow better everyday,
and when that time comes
you know I'll be your slave

Author's Notes/Comments: 

If time is money, then you better start investing. Life doesn't give refunds.

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Words

I wanted to send you something because I thought you would like to know.
I think alot about you and I thought I'd say hello.
The truth is not a day goes by without you on my mind.
So many things I want to say; still the words are hard to find.
But I don't think I need big words to tell you how I feel.
Cause when I say "I MISS YOU" that's exactly how I feel.

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Broken Wings February 10, 2007

Wings of steel,
These broken wings…
Feathers fleeting gracefully
Down the river.

Washed away into the ocean
As time goes on.

The ocean currents,
Splashing onto shore.
The halo’s disappeared.
An angel washed ashore
With broken wings.

With these broken wings,
I shall repair
The angel’s wounds.
Healing the scars of time.

By providing refuge,
These broken wings
Are sure to heal.
(With time, it’ll replace).

As time goes on,
These broken wings
Will sprout new feathers.
A halo’s appeared.
(The guiding light).
Fly Away.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written after an ex friend got mad at me for not having/booking a ride to celebrate a friend's birthday.

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All I Ask Of You

Folder: 
My Love

All I ask of you
Is to let me in your heart
Don’t push me away when you hurt
I can handle your problems
I am a strong tower in your storms
A lighthouse in the darkness
And I know the way home

 

All I ask of you
Is to remember me
Don’t forget our times together
When your dreams come true
And rob me of you
When you spread your wings
While you fly on the breeze
Just pause and think of me

 

All I ask of you
Is to be yourself
Don’t be afraid to hurt my feelings
I love you, not the mask you put on
Let your feelings flood around us
Just say what you need to say
And I’ll be there to listen always

 

All I ask of you
Is to not change to please people
They don’t know who you are
Many of them don’t even care
But I do
I care

 

All I ask of you
Is to live each day to it’s fullest
To live like you will die tomorrow
To not regret past mistakes, but learn from them
To live and to love
Each day is the first day of the rest of your life
Be who you want to be

And as I cheer you on
And watch you take to the skies
I can’t help but hope
That someday
You might love me too