self

Slow to Come 2010

Folder: 
Wulfman Adventures

My days are different
I try to understand
All this goodness
I worked for it
It is mine
Then why am I
so slow to rejoice?

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My Tears 2011

The blood rains down in heavy splatters, frustration storms my Highway
Faking smiles to the world, To conceal the madness rotting me
As the storm clouds gather, As I slay the wishful dreams

The blood swirls into settling puddles, rage screaming from silent lungs
Fake joyfulness to fool the world, Conceal my weeping heart
Letting the times of us fade, Allowing the love to grow old

The tear drops on my Bal'dons are the heaven's
The tears are from us, Never surrendering completely to love
Just dancing in the death, destruction is melody that I sing

The blood drops stain my blades and I am filthy from heartache
Crooked mask, peeking out at the world from a false hood
Hiding in the shadows, playing my heart's game closed eye
I swirl to a rest, A breathing statue in the middle of tortured fallen art

My smirk of insanity stains my world, Begging for attention
For the woman that set me straight, For the one that keep me here and sane
The tear drops on my Bal'dons are the faded lover

The tears of a fool speaking truth through self hatred
Just dancing in my wicked garden of slain art
Frozen Horrors of Lust, An Artist in many forms as the Blades speak

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My Mocking Bird 2011

In silence there is always laughter
Within the laughter is mockery
Which I don't understand the jealous

On my Highway I flex my aching muscles
In a sigh, as I fall I learn to let go
In the stage of letting go

Giving up that control
Is one of the hardest things I done
To learn to love without intoxicators
I feel intoxicated as the laughter grows
This mockery from the beast

I don't understand
And I could care less as I slip
More back into the boots of who I was

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Phantom Lives again

I awake to find myself in my old leather armor
Scars and stitches, all wrapped around me again
The daze look spreads from my eyes to my body
Swallowing my heart and soul, taking me all in
I could not ... How could this be happening?
Thought this dark man had perished
How did this darkness within me get free
This could not be happening now...
Am I that lost that I awake in my old nightmare self
One that thirst satisfied by war, blood and havoc

Hunger fulfilled with angry, lust, and darkness
It has been years since I had been this man
When I was last this man, he was a boy
This persona... this one persona I fear
Because if it is awakening than that means
Evil omens are going to raid soon
To awake finding myself in this nightmare persona
Startles me, why the Highway Phantom?
I don't wanna run like I use to
I am rooted, stubborn and worn out
Yet, here I am staring into the reflection
of the rain puddles on my Highway
I thought I escaped, but how could I escape
The man I am, I am this persona
Always have been, always will be

For I am the scars and stitches
The exhausted leather armor
Wrapping itself around me
The guns are gone, the Bal'dons are back
I fear this persona has come awake
What war lurks around the next bend?
That is this persona... the knight, veteran, the darkness
All that I am... all that I am...

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Birth of another Chapter

Folder: 
Wulfman Adventures

Destruction of the soul tastes like bittersweet peanut butter covered poison.

In the blink of the eyes, my reality emerges into a new chapter.

The new age unfolding before the marching feet, here I come into the new.

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Some Adjustments

Folder: 
Wulfman Adventures

In the late hours
When I use to be electric
Now I tiresome, drawn out
Sore exhaustion from the day
Being the ruler of my new world
It is new, like me to myself
Though I dream of being free
Free of armor and responsibilities
Free of wars and battles
I won't be hence
I claim that I am a knight
What is a knight without armor?
That would be like midnight without the moon
A fish breathing air
Utter nonsense
So I remain
Within a metal cocoon
Though there are more days
Where I am not in suit
As the days of peace settle
I grow restless
I hope soon to be adjusted
I am driving my self nuts

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Trying without You

Folder: 
Dolour

It is nonsense, chaos
Cold, burning emptiness
In the spot next to me

This hurt, this longing
It is not right
Never is unless you
Are there filling the void

Breathing life into this wasteland
I hurt you once, walked away
Scarring both of us, knowing what I should

I cannot walk away from you again
I cannot just leave you there broken in tears

I want more than the dreams
I want more than night wishes on the Moon Beams
All I can do is wait and wait as much as I don't want to

Still feeling you feel me, feel my life
Impress my soul, bringing me through the crossover
Of being a man, a pure wolf in the moment

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Confessions

Folder: 
Wulfman Adventures

I laugh at what I have became
A hollow man with little response
To the world, I am just another smiling man
Inside I am dead, rotting, stinking of regret
Forgive me Father for what I have become
I see your hands, offering help up out of the gutter

What if I am comfortable finally?
What if this exhausted mutt don't wanna come home?
What if this worn out super hero just wants to stay down?
Why do I keep standing? When I know I be knocked down again.
All this frustration and rage
Yet I am calm without lashes of destruction

I stare at the world with hollowed eyes
Blackness and dirt eating what remains of my soul
To the world, I am just another EMO faking to get by
Inside I want to scream for joy, but I am stitched silent
Forgive me Jesus, for I have fallen
Yet your blood and patience outweighs my sin

What if I am too comfortable?
What if I am just pretending to sleep to avoid the work at hand?
What if I only wear threadbare clothes to be ignored?
Why do I keep eating dirt when I know I am standing?
All this confusion and I have a crumpled map
In denial, I refuse to see the way til I am clubbed over the head and carried
Like the brat I am...

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The Man You Made

Fragments of love
Shine in the times
Of my darkness
Each score of misery
Matched by twice of your love
You steal me from myself
Took me to our forest
To our safe haven
Of wolves and moss
Taught me to be a man
Less of a wolf
The time to be either
Or even the knight
You see in me
Even when I am blind

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