Mirror Mirror on the Wall

She stares at me with intense distaste.
I soak in her scrutinizing judgment
As our eyes lock.
A dolorous sobbing begins in her throat
And slowly creeps upon her face as her brow furrows.
Her eyes look on with a new potency;
All hatred has left the cloudy blue spheres,
And in its place a sickening anguish.
Her bleak eyes plead with me for help.
Just as my mouth opens for reassurance
a laugh escapes her lips and her eyes drop to the floor.
Cheerfulness envelopes her body as she cries out with laughter.
I begin to smile back at this playful new friend,
But again I see her eyes.
I helplessly stare into the threshold of her scars and sorrows,
Wishing to once more only see her pseudo-happiness.
Her smile widens,
Knowing I’ve seen past her façade.

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Cold Feet

I must be getting punished
My heart has turned bitter
3 AM I'm waiting
This must be the coldest winter

Underneath the street light
Where we're suppose to meet
I thought I new you we'll
She must have cold feet

What happen to plan A
We even had a plan B
Please stop playing
Put some socks on those feet

Maybe I'm insane
Or in fact it's just love
I must be going crazy
To think you'd actually show up

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I'm Afraid

I’m Afraid

I’m afraid of people
I’m afraid to die
I’m afraid of cars
And planes in the sky

I’m afraid of cancer
Im afraid of death
I’m afraid to choose the wrong direction
Both right and left

I’m afraid of elevators
I’m afraid of heights
I’m afraid to go fast in cars
I’m even afraid of strobe lights

I’m afraid to talk
Or to hear the sound of my own voice
I’m afraid of everything
Of everything that is choice


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I'll Protect You

I see him walking towards me
I hide myself behind you
You see him
You look at me
"I'll protect you"

I'm sitting alone
He sits down next to me
My eyes show you i'm scared
You come up and ask if i'm okay
I say sure
You leave
I ask you later
"When you need me i'll protect you"

You see me curled in a ball
I'm crying but he's nowhere in sight
You ask me where he is
If he has hurt me
You say "I'll protect you"
I shake my head
I look up into your pain filled blue eyes
"How can you protect me from my memories?"

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This Is Me Now

I look in the mirror
and I see my crying soul
People want to look, but
they don't really see me
I'm screaming so loud
How can you not hear me?
My heart was set on the table
You stabbed me many times
Your pleading eyes tell me the truth
My tears fear for a lie
These arms were welcoming once
They are crossed now for no one to come near
A best friend's words
my ears refuse to comprehend
Mother's love I cannot let go
A broken heart she has no grasp of
My God, do not forget me
Here are my hands
Take me away
I feel my life fading
into an unknown
I am so afraid
Like a child lost
Afraid to live again

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I am

The First One.

scared that’ll fall for you.
am scared to kiss you, cause am scared I might just miss you
am scared to hug you, feels harder to not hold you tighter
am scared to miss you, because it means I just might NEED YOU
am scared to laugh with you, feels like it won’t be just the two
am scared to cry for you, means I might just have TO lie to you
but what scares me the most, Is that am so scared to LOVE you
because if I do I might just close my eyes and just see US two
AND FORGET, forget, forget
THE reason for being so scared
forget, that I’ll just get HURT.

Author's Notes/Comments: 


It All Started With a Day

June 3rd
Scared. Confused. Miserable. Jason.
Bad. Wrong. Creepy. Sick. Family friend. Alone.
Scary. Horrible. Jason. Nightmares.
Jason. Sick. Creepy. Terrifying. Juan.
Creepy. Pervert. Unpure. Wrong. Evil. Summer.
Juan. Miserable. Sick. Traumatizing. Bad. Wrong. Sad.
Alone. Empty. Silent. Scared. Angry. Confused. Broken.
Unhappy. Scared. Quiet. Untrusting. Searching
Searching for...
Happiness. Answers. Justice.
Peace. Love. Friendship. Happiness.
Light. Fun. Laughter. Good. Whole.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this in English class today. I don't know if it's really a poem but it needed to be written and heard. It's what I think about or feel when i hear certain words.

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I'm Scared


I'm scared...
I'm really scared.

I'm all alone,
and I'm scared.

I have no one here,
and I'm scared.

Someone, please rescue me,
I'm scared!

Will anyone rescue me?
I'm so scared!

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I taste blood in the air or maybe it’s just fear.
I smell death everywhere or maybe it’s just fear.
I see darkness getting near or maybe it’s just fear.
I feel the coldness already here or maybe it’s just fear.
I hear nothing but silence and I'm scared or maybe it’s just fear.

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