Lonely

Lonely Pest

Lonely:

Sitting here waiting for.....
Apparently nothing seeable
Socially getting sore...
And disagreeable

Everything happens inside my head
But when it plays out
I should have stayed in bed
Before losing this bout

Sitting here waiting for....
Someone to care for me
I'm hurting to the core...
Because of omissioncy

I'm hurting inside and out
But nobody seems to notice
Trapped inside my own doubt
I feel the unwanted locust

I'm a pest for society
To reek havoc only by existence
My memorability
Is my worst consequence

I speak and say help me!
But they just hear Hi.
Why don't you see me?
I just get goodbye.

Did i not cry out to you?
No. Not with words.
My emotions did not get through?
No. That's absurd.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I have had to move school again. This will be my senior year. It will be the largest and most daunting school experience ever. But I'm the only one that seems to see myself whe I really am, even though i'm sending it out emotionally. My "friends" in my neighborhood treat me like an outsider because i've been either homeschooled or in a charter school all my life. I'm in pain. And nobody can see it but those that don't care.

All by yourself

How does it feel; sitting there in your home
to look to the future, and see you're alone.
No-one to care for; no one caring for you
no shoulder to lean on; when you're feeling blue
Who do you turn to in the middle of the night
when a sound outside your window; gives you a fright

How does it feel laying alone in your bed
do thoughts of a past lover; play in your head
remembering a time; when their arms held you tight
and the warmth of their body; kept you cozy all night
How will it feel; growing old all alone
have you hardened your heart; as if it were stone
?

Alone with no passion, or a sweet tender kiss
all by yourself, is there no one you'll miss
is this what you wanted; is it all that it seemed
with no one in your life; is it all that you dreamed
how will it feel to know; you'll grow old and grey
all by yourself; day after day.

Not quite forgotten; but not worth the time
for anyone to come visit; and see if you're fine
do the tears start to fall; when you see what you've lost
was loving equally back; to high a cost
was it so hard to change, or would it have been so horribely bad
to give the love you were given; to the lover you had.

Are you as happy as you possibly can be...
how does it feel knowing, you threw away me???

Paul (ChryWizard) Posney

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For Bonnie.
because this is what she wanted!!!

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A Day of My Fate, Which Is Hate...

Folder: 
Emotional Poems

"Emo," they call me
I respond to my "name"
They laugh at me
I hang my head in shame

I walk down the hallways
I do things my way
They say, "hey, emo! You can't stay!"
I pick up my notebook and walk away
I'll stand up for myself
Just not today...

I don't fit in
People stare at me, like I am a sin
I won't fight back
My world is already black

I want to run away
I want to escape
I want to hide away
I don't want my fate

I wish it was too late
I never even got a chance
To change this hate

Darkness Falls

Folder: 
Fav's

Whispers of winds, gently breezing ~
Snow falls down; blowing, freezing.
Loneliness assists the painful crying ~
Reaching, wanting, loving, dying.
Pale skies with winter showing ~
Devouring light, darkness growing.
Fate it lurks, quietly stalling ~
Turning, running, jumping, falling.
Leaves chasing, nature stealing ~
Wounds gaping, never healing.
Tears dropping, falling, streaming ~
Whims, wishes; always dreaming.
Nights so cold, never warming ~
Nightmares, you; ever swarming.
Pain and suffering, trapped within~
Darkness falls on a heart of sin.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem is half of a set; sort of the yin to the yang of my poem titled "Blue Skies & Butterflies"

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Depressed

i'm depressed!
i reached this conclusion as i undressed.
i lay in bed unable to move, each day is filled with endless seconds without you.
i thought we'd never end, but abruptly, we did!
what's the point of telling me you love me when you leave me alone and cold?

i'm depressed!
i stare at the computer feeling worthless.
i shove food in my mouth trying to fill the hole you left.
i'm unmotivated and uninterested.
what used to enthrall me now bores me to tears.
when you cut me off you took my heart.

i'm depressed!
i confess the pills aren't effective.
i feel the slide down into despair pick up speed.
every ache, every pain, i blame on you.
i try to occupy the hollow hours where you used to be,
but nothing sets my tortured soul free.

i'm depressed!
you'd laugh and declare me useless.
i miss the little things that annoyed me the most.
do you feel better now?
or, like me, do you still have my ghost to exorcise?
i feel incomplete, like there was no closure.
you felt there was because you never answer when i call.

i'm depressed!
i hope time can heal this emotional mess.
the demented days hand out their punishment.
our pictures of happiness taunt me from the wall.
i want to burn them all.
i rock back and forth in a pathetic dance.
i surrender to this moment.
God help me, I'm depressed!

Leaving

I was sad to watch you leave,
Every breath was hard to breathe,
As tears rolled down my saddened cheeks.
As I left the sky darkened,
Only adding to my sorrow.
But a ray of light pierced the shadows,
Helping me believe it was not eternal.
I know I can't turn back time,
But one day everything will be alright,
No matter how dark or sad I may seem,
Fate always seems to workout for me.

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Lonely Nights

Tossing and turning
Ambitions burning
My mind in mourning
Waiting for morning

Wishing for relief
Hoping it'd be brief
Praying for the thief,
to take my belief

What sleep can't heal
I can only appeal
To the far away feel
the kiss to seal
my hear to steel.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this, about a girl i loved very much. it was a long distance relationship. We broke up, and i still had strong feelings for her.

Continuum

A time to laugh
A time to cry
A time to think
And wonder why
Things happen
The way they do
Why was it me?
And why not you?
 I would go back
And change my ways
Of all regrets
In younger days.
Oh how I'd like
To change my fate
To fall in love
Without the hate.
But no- my past
I can't redo,
And so this leaves me
Feeling blue,
'cause future, too,
I can't control,
And wrinkles in time
Refuse to fold.
And since I am
So powerless,
I've got no choice 
but onward press.

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Valentine's Day

I see them holding hands,
both with stupid grins showing.
He's looking into her eyes, with pure adoration...
She's so content, she's positively glowing.
I've never felt such emptiness, seeing them across the room.
They stand to leave, hands still locked.
I watch them walk away with slight relief...
Only to see another couple take their place, as if I'm being mocked.
Their special evening begins much the same,
with roses, sweets, and practiced words.
Their voices drift over to me, sitting so near...
And I hear the three words I dread to hear...
I can't stand anymore of this terrible ache.
As I gather my things, I try not to think
of the happiness they have...
for my sanity's sake.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Valentine's Day always leaves me sort of melancholy. All feedback appreciated.

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