Secrets in the sand

knowing you the way I got to, helped me really appreciate the rain pouring down, & to look past the clouds.. 

I never felt one with the sand until you touched my hand.. even the fireworks weren't ever as breath-taking.. 

you to me, were like a piece of breathing earth, with eyes, & ears.. a heart.. but too many fears.. 

I can't say you have much more then me, though.. & it doesn't matter which one of us is less flawed..


I wish I could fly away to a paradise, somewhere i'll finally have all the closure I need... for everything..

I feel like I have to fight with myself everyday.. battle of self esteem, hopes, dreams, disappointments, needs.. 

I battle to stay awake, & I battle to fall asleep.. 


wherever did the peace go? whatever happened to the flow...

I got lost in the forest of my mind, trying to become free..

but more then a few of these deeply rooted trees have collapsed & fallen on top of me..

scratching at the dirt, gripping at the grass.. I can't breathe..


is love just as much baggage as hate..? because they both seem to feel equally heavy..

maybe inside i'm just overweight.. 

maybe that's what i've been seeing.. 

how can I work from the inside, out..? 

how can I prevent these ups & downs..? 

do you even know..? I didn't think so..

it's all up to me.


learn to appreciate the rain... even if it's drenching you in pain..

i'll always be your secret.. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 


my ode entitled 'sat in nature'

Animal Kingdom

Sat in nature

Dissolves your cares

Nature appreciation

Lacking; western nations


People too busy

To appreciate, sadly

Joys; Mother Earth

Programmed since birth


Energy to system





Nature provides everything

Food, water drinking

Greed, doesn’t support

Karma the retort


In nature; harmony

Surroundings; birds, trees

Slow outlooks down

Erases unsuitable frowns


Appreciate nature today

Respects to pay

Nuts take too

Birds; will thankyou


No fruit; trees

Ground frozen possibly

Do positive deeds

Food wildlife needs

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I sat there crying,
Tears pouring from my eyes,
Thinking of everything that means so much.
Wondering of how life twists and turns,
And when I needed you the most I was alone suffering.
Its not like you intentionally abandoned me,
Just the way things turned out to be.
Maybe for better or the worse,
Wishing desperately the two would mend.
A complete understanding of what is to come,
To anticipate my future tactfully.
Scared is not the word I prefer,
I really haven't the clue to describe what to say.
What jerks the tears out my head the most,
Is the thought of returning and what I love is a ghost.
A home to my memories,
Oh I can't bear the thought,
But I do and that's what rips me apart.
The realization then struck,
Sadness is the best way to achieve true happiness.
Knowing what its like to not have the ones you love,
Teaches the ultimate appreciation.
By this I wanted you to hear,
Every day will be cherished when I return,
Treating you honorably as you deserve.
I'll always be there,
No matter the odds,
At your side or forever in your heart.
My love to you.


I was sad to watch you leave,
Every breath was hard to breathe,
As tears rolled down my saddened cheeks.
As I left the sky darkened,
Only adding to my sorrow.
But a ray of light pierced the shadows,
Helping me believe it was not eternal.
I know I can't turn back time,
But one day everything will be alright,
No matter how dark or sad I may seem,
Fate always seems to workout for me.

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